Let’s answer the age-old question:
Should you make out on the first date?
The short answer is yes, if you can. Because if you are a good kisser, it’s only going to serve you well.
But if you’re not a good kisser, or you get rejected, it could lead to an awkward ending.
Get Good At Kissing First
If you’re wondering if you should make out on the first date, you want to also make sure that you’re actually good at kissing first.
Your kissing skills are often a make or break for women. Meaning, if you’re good at it, it’s a really good thing for you. And if you’re bad, it could quite literally kill your chances with a girl.
The truth is, the only way to get better at kissing is to do it often. So even if you’re a terrible kisser, making out on the first date can be viewed as some practice that will serve you well in the future. Even if it’s bad.
The Pros And Cons Of Making Out On The First Date
There are pros and cons (although much more pros) to making out on the first date. Here we will a highlight a few of them.
Pro #1: Builds Comfort Quickly
Making out with a girl on the first date will build a lot of comfort with her really quickly. This means that relationships that begin on an early makeout tend to blossom much quicker than relationships where the couple waits multiple dates for the kiss. Which only makes sense.
Pro #2: She Will Be Invested
Making out on the first date also gets a girl invested in you as a person. There are most likely many guys that she has been on dates with that she has never kissed. There are more likely guys in her life that she has never kissed. Making out with her on the first date separates you from these other dudes and puts you in a unique category of men that she has made out with (especially if you make out on the first date).
Pro #3: Major Bonus Points
In multiple different places. You will get bonus points for being confident and going for the makeout in the first place. You will also get major bonus points if you are a good kisser. As I said before, being a good kisser is going to be one skill that will dramatically increase your chances of getting repeat dates. Its importance cannot be understated.
Pro #4: She Will Tell Her Friends
And then you can date them too.
The Only Con: Your Chances Will Be Shot If You’re A Bad Kisser
There really aren’t any cons when it comes to making out on the first date. Unless you’re a bad kisser, that is.
If you make out with a girl on a first date and it’s absolutely terrible because it’s your fault (not hers) then your chances on getting a second date will be very low if she is a woman of quality.
But on the other side of the coin, there are situations where you will go on dates with girls and they are the ones who are bad at kissing. If this happens, then your kissing skills won’t really matter too much because she simply doesn’t know what she is doing. So if you’re a bad kisser, find a girl that can’t kiss either. Lol.
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
The location of your first date will be an extremely important factor in whether or not you should make out on the first date. I’ll go a little more into this later, but will cover some of it now.
If you two are in a more private setting, then making out will not be out of place and may even be expected. But, on the other side of the coin, if your first date is somewhere public in a well-lit area (like a coffee shop) then going for the first make out will be a little more difficult at that location. But you can always move locations.
Moving To A More Intimate Location For The Make Out
Sometimes the first part of your date will be somewhere where a make out would be out of place. I would recommend not scheduling your date in a place like this in the first place, and would recommend that you schedule your date somewhere like a lounge or nice bar. This will allow you to be close together, experience good music, and have a low-light situation.
But, if you either didn’t read this article or can’t help scheduling your first date at a place where making out isn’t weird, remember:
You always have the option of moving the date to a new location.
One of the biggest mistake guys make is letting the location of the date affect their results. If the location becomes boring, simply go somewhere else.
Not only will moving the date to somewhere else give you something to do and help your make out situation, but it will also get the girl invested in you a little bit more by seeing that you are someone who is safe (and changes locations without doing anything weird or getting lost) as well as her simply spending more time with you.
Testing The Waters: The Key To Avoiding Rejection
“testing the waters” “heat checking” and “trial closing” are all terms for the same thing: seeing how interested she is in kissing you.
Testing the waters allows you to send signals to her and have those smaller signals get rejected before you get rejected for the actual kiss.
Even though getting rejected for a make out on the first date isn’t a death sentence for future dates, you can avoid it completely by testing the waters and having your smaller gestures shut down before you go for the make out.
How To Test The Waters And Make Out On The First Date: Reject & Retreat
Every time you make a step forward with a women, you want to constantly be making her feel comfortable.
Once you successfully make a step forward – meaning you’ve reached a new level in the relationship (such as not touching to touching, not hugging to not hugging, or not kissing to kissing) – you will basically have “climbed that part of the ladder” and can continue moving forward.
“But Grant, how do I know if I made a step forward?”.
It’s simple. To know if you made a step forward, you simply go one step further than you have in the relationship and then gauge her reaction. If it’s positive, you made it. If it’s slightly negative in any way, then you’re not quite there yet.
What To Do If you Catch A “Mini-Rejection” Leading Up To The Makeout
Leading up to the time you make out with her will be a bunch of steps.
The steps are usually:
- light touch
- heavier touch / some hugging / arm around her
Each time you move from one step to another, the girl will give you feedback in the form of her facial expression, tone of voice, and body language. Although this sounds complicated, it’s not. Once you make a move, you will know if she likes or not. Go with what your intuition tells you.
If she gives you a negative response, then you are going to use something called the “reject and retreat”. All this means is that if she gives you a bad response to something you do, simply make a joke about it, move on like nothing happened, and then try again in a little bit once you’ve built some more comfort with her.
If a girl likes you, then she will obviously want you to make a move. The problem is, a lot of girls will either be afraid that they will be perceived as a slut or will simply be uncomfortable with you making the first move until you build a little more comfort with her. So build some more comfort. I’ll teach you everything you need to know about building comfort here.
What Does it Mean If You Make Out On The First Date?
For most people, making out on the first date isn’t too big of a deal. Meaning, for a lot of people, when they make out on the first date, the simply think “wow that was a really good date. I want to see them again”. And that’s basically the extent of it.
Where a lot of newbie dating guys go wrong is getting their first make out on a first date and start thinking that they are immediately boyfriend and girlfriend. This is not true.
Although making out on the first date WILL speed up the physicality in the relationship, it does not necessarily speed up the process of commitment. It is important to understand that just because you made out with a girl on a first date, that does not make her your girlfriend. It just brings you both one step closer to sex.
When Should You Make Out On The First Date?
It has been my experience that if me and the girl are in a semi-private place, it will be rare that I won’t make out with the girl in the middle or towards the end of the date.
When it comes to making out on the first date, location matters.
Meaning, it will be much more difficult (usually) to get a girl to make out with you in the middle of coffee shop than it will for her to make out with you in a dimly lit corner of a lounge, where you two are sitting side by side.
The more private and dimly lit the scene, the easier it will be for you to make out with her on the first date. Keep this in mind.
Should You Make Out On The First Date Summary
The summary of “should you make out on the first date” is basically yes, if you can.
Making out with a girl on the first date will only add to all the good things that will get you closer to being in a relationship with her (if you are a good kisser, that is). And the downsides – even getting rejected for the make out – are very little when compared to the upsides if you do everything correctly.