Categories
Online Dating

How To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl Over Text (Actual Text Convo Breakdown)

Here is exactly how to keep a conversation going with a girl over text.

In this article, I don’t just want to give you a fish and send you on your way. Instead, I want to teach you how to fish so you can catch fish for the rest of your life.

In terms of how to keep a conversation going with a girl over text, this means that i’m not going to give you pre-scripted lines to keep the conversation interesting. Instead, I’m going to give you a formula that I personally use to keep all of my conversations engaging and moving forward.

And this formula is AJRM.

Using The AJRM Formula To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl over Text

AJRM stands for Acknowledge, Joke, Response, Move it forward. And this simple formula is the key to keeping a conversation going with a girl over text.

The reason it is so powerful is because it puts into words what guys who are naturally good with girls do when they are talking to them.

When I am actively using this on a girl, I am not thinking about it logically while I do it. I am simply trying to have a fun conversation with the girl, say a few things that are “off-the-wall” and flirty, and give her a memorable experience through text. The key is you want the conversation to be FUN.

Let’s break it down right now:

Acknowledge – This is when you simply acknowledge what the girl said by either sympathizing or empathizing with her or making a joke out of what she said.

Joke – This is when you introduce something into the conversation that keeps it lighthearted and fun.

Response – If she’s good at texting, she will usually say something to keep the conversation going as well. This is when you respond to that. It is usually beneficial to respond to it with something true and factual about yourself so you can begin to build some rapport with her.

Move It Forward – The easiest way to continue the conversation is to ask questions that you think she would ENJOY answering. This is when you need to get out of your own head and ask her questions about things that you think SHE would find important. Here is a quick example of AJRM in action. This is the first conversation after I moved it to text.

Here is it in action.

(Opener is me punning her name from “YASS QUEEN”. Also my bio said something about me loving brunch so that is why she made the brunch comment)
Her bio said “I LOVE MUSIC” which is why i said “since you’re a big music girl”. You can use the environment to forward conversations often. Also note how a joke was made from nothing, the “omg leik…” thing, and it was used simultaneously to forward conversation by asking her type of music she liked.
Here I’m telling her I’m glad she doesn’t like something (judging) and sarcastically asking her what is wrong with her. Very playful here. She also calls her ears tiny and this gives me something to go off of.
I wanted to send her a zoomed-in screenshot of her tiny ears but hinge doesn’t let you send screenies, lol. Also some cocky humor here by saying “I know I’m super fun to talk to” and making the joking assumption that I am the reason for her procrastination. Girls love playfulness like that (when they know you are kidding) because it also conveys status. if they don’t know if you’re joking or not you can come off as an ass.
She goes with me assuming I’m the reason for her procrastination. Here is when I start asking about logistics and trying to figure out where she lives to see if us hanging out could happen. Side note: I could have also playfully roasted her for the typo she made (which i didn’t do). Below that, I am “testing the waters” and seeing how interested she is in me by telling her to basically “get riding” on her bike. The response she gives to me from that statement that basically says “ride your bike to me” will let me know where her and I stand at the moment romantically. If she responds well, I move forward. If she responds poorly, I say just kidding.
She is being very playful which I really enjoy. I continue calling her “bb”.
Another version of “testing the waters” with me saying she can come over and cuddle. It is a joke without being a joke, and her response to it will let me know how likely she is to accept advances from me if I keep moving it forward. This is key. She is also obviously super cool (and interested).
This is when I explicitly tell her I hope she’s serious because we have been joking the entire time. I said this because I want to make the joke become real. She then explicitly tells me she’s into it and gives me her # without me asking for it while also being self-conscious about the type of vodka she will bring, which I thought was cute. I then make a pun with the vodka name (absolutely) and then move it onto text.

You can see through the entire conversation that i’m obviously joking and keeping it playful. And if you look closer, you can see that I am basically inviting her to join me in the playfulness. When she goes along with it, we exchange a few joking texts about a certain topic and I consciously choose not to move it forward with a question so I can get her a little more invested in the conversation. Then, when that topic has been joked about, I will move the conversation forward by asking questions like “Are you living in x or x” or making assumptive, flirty statements like “If you were living in x I’d say u better get riding bb” (as in she should ride her bike to see me).

It is this combination of playfulness, paying attention to who is investing more, and moving things forward that will make you successful when keeping a conversation going with a girl over text.

Some Conversations Will be Destined To Go Nowhere

Although, as the guy, you will usually have to be the one pushing the conversation further at the beginning…

Sometimes the girl just won’t have anything interesting to say. And that is okay.

If the girl continually responds with short, boring messages, and isn’t investing anything of value into the conversation, then it is in your best interest to just cut the conversation off and move on. Is that really someone you want to be with anyway?

Part of finding the right girl is finding an available girl. And if she’s not available enough to hold a decent conversation, then maybe it’s time you jump to someone else.

“Fake Joke Worlds” Are A Great Way To Infuse More Fun And Excitement Into The Conversation

I’m not sure if there are a name for these things so I’m going to call them “fake joke worlds” for the sake of the article.

“Fake joke worlds” are essentially when you create some type of fake reality that you and the girl are both in, over text. One example of this is me telling the girl above that I secretly stalked her for the last 10 years because we actually went to the same middle school (which we didn’t, this was all a joke).

Me saying something like this gives the girl the opportunity to play along (and she did) by saying that she remembers me as the scrawny kid that always had a thing for ears. Does any of this make any sense? No. But is it fun? Yes. And that’s the point.

“Fake Joke Worlds” Will Change Your Dating Life

Using fake joke worlds often will legitimately change your dating life for the better because they can turn any conversation into something fun at any moment at all. This helps you avoid fizzling conversations (for a period of time) and will allow you to keep a conversation going with a girl over text. Until you choose to end it, that is.

Knowing When To End The Conversation Is Key

Secondly important after keeping the conversation going with a girl over text is knowing when to end the conversation with a girl over text. This is massively important.

The reason knowing how to end a conversation over text is important is because you will protect the “fun guy” persona that you have created while also keeping your status as a high status guy. Let me explain.

All conversations will eventually die out. Because our energy is finite. The key isn’t getting a conversation to go on forever, the key is actually knowing when and how to end the conversation to preserve your status with the girl while also leaving her wanting more. I go much more into depth on this topic on my exclusive email list but will cover some basics here.

Here are 3 times when you want to end the conversation:

  • When you have already solidified yourself as a fun, high-status guy and she is chasing you
  • When she agrees to hang out with you at some later time
  • When the conversation is beginning to fizzle out

If any of these 3 things happen, your best move is to simply take one more step forward (by asking for her contact information or planting a seed to hang out) and then ending the conversation. This is extremely important if the conversation begins to fizzle out, because if it does, the girl will forget the fun conversation your previously had and now associate you as the boring conversation guy. Which you don’t want.

Losses Will Be Inevitable

There will be conversations you initiate that will go nowhere and die out. This is completely normal. The key is trying to understand when you could have done better, and when the girl is simply unresponsive. In sales there is a saying called “you can’t sell someone who doesn’t want to be sold”. Dating is the same way.

If she is a dry wall to talk to, then just cut your losses and move on to someone else. Chances are, you wouldn’t want a boring girlfriend anyway. (And yes, I know some of you still would, weirdos).

When a girl is unresponsive, try saying something off-the-wall and trying to initiate a fake joke world with her, and if she doesn’t buy in, then don’t take it personally. Just move on.

Let me say that again:

Don’t take it personally. Just move on.

You will be glad you did.

If you are interested in dating coaching or world-class dating advice delivered to your inbox, visit stepbystepdating.com or apply for my exclusive email list here.

One reply on “How To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl Over Text (Actual Text Convo Breakdown)”

[…] When it comes down to it, we get into relationships because they feel good. And at our core, we all just want to feel good. So instead of making your dating life complicated, focus on being more fun, having more fun, and making people have more fun with you. Here’s an example of a good time to use a GIF (and be dramatic). I have an entire article on how to text a girl here. […]

Leave a Reply