So, she never texts first.
Which sucks.
I mean, could you imagine her beautiful little head resting softly on your manly, perfectly-placed shoulder? Or her sweet, angelic scent fluttering softly by your nostrils on a sunlit, Tuesday evening?
Of course you can. Because she’s a great girl.
The only problem is…
You’re thinking to yourself “I think she likes me, but she never texts first”.
And the question you’re left wondering is…
#whybro? Why won’t she text me first?
She Never Texts First Because…
There can be multiple different reasons for why she never texts first, and these largely depend on the type of relationship that you currently have with her.
For the sake of this article, I am going to break down the 3 most common situations that guys find themselves in when she never texts first.
And after I break down those situations, I’m going to reveal to you some of my most powerful secrets that will help you flip the power dynamic and get her staring at her phone all night long, impatiently waiting for YOUR texts to show up in HER inbox.
So let’s begin.
The 3 Most Common “She Never Texts First” Situations
There are a few different situations you can find yourself in if she never texts first.
Each of these situations will have the same reason for her never texting you first, but the path on how to climb out of the “she never texts first” hole will be different depending on which situation you’ve found yourself in.
So, what’s the most common reason for why she never texts first?
It’s because you aren’t being perceived “high value” enough for her to text you first.
This means that the amount of fun you can provide to her and/or the attraction she currently has for you isn’t yet powerful enough to “pull” her into texting you first. This power needs to be created.
But the good news is, you can create that “pull”. That attraction.
And we will go over exactly how to fix the “she never texts me first” issue right now.
If you’re currently struggling because she never texts you first, you are likely going to be in one of these 3 situations:
#1 – You just started talking to her and you guys are still getting to know each other
#2 – You have known for her a while but are just friends
#3 – You have known her for a while and have either hooked up with her or are hooking up with her consistently
Each of these 3 situations will have a different dynamic to them, and can help you determine if her not texting you first is even a problem in the first place, and if it is, how to fix it.
#1 – You Just Started Talking & Are Still Getting To Know Each Other
If you have only recently began talking to her, because you either met her out somewhere or matched with her on an online dating app, then her never texting first shouldn’t be too concerning.
Yet.
Before we go any further, I want to stress how important it is to always keep the results you are getting in mind.
This means that if your goal is to hang out with her, and she is actively hanging out with you when you offer to make plans, then maybe her never texting first isn’t an issue at all. And the real issue could be your level of self-worth, and feeling like she doesn’t like you just because she never texts first. Which could be untrue.
The only time her never texting first should be concerning to you is if you aren’t getting the results you want from the relationship.
Meaning, if you want to hang out with her – but she’s either cold to you when you text her or never agrees to hang out – then it’s an issue.
If that’s the case, then her not texting you first is likely because she is simply uninterested. Or, she is just “being nice” and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by ghosting you.
But there are some nuances to this.
She Never Texts First Because She Likes A Man That Pursues Her Properly
A lot of girls are really attracted by a man who knows how to properly pursue her in the initial phases of a relationship. So in a lot of cases, she will be waiting for you to text her first to initiate a conversation – all so she can feel wanted.
The truth is, when you are first texting and flirting with a girl – unless your text game is off the charts (which I show you how to do when you’re part of my exclusive email list) – a lot of those early conversations will involve you sending the first message. Which is normal.
That being said, if your text game is really strong, you can actually get it to the point where one day the power dynamic will switch. And instead of you wondering why she never texts YOU first, SHE will be wondering why you never text HER first. And will be staying up at night wondering if you like her or not.
She Never Texts First Because You Haven’t Shown Any Romantic Interest
If you’ve just began talking to her and she isn’t texting you first, you could have an issue with stating your intentions with her.
Maybe she has really enjoyed the conversations you guys have had, but she is still unsure if you are interested in her romantically because you’ve never made a sexual joke, or have shown any sort of romantic interest. AKA you’ve set yourself up for the friend zone.
If this is the case, then she will have no incentive to text you because she doesn’t think the flirting will be fun or that it could ever lead to hooking up or sex. Which is no fun for her. In this situation, she fears she will be caught up in a boring conversation that never goes anywhere.
If this sounds familiar, you need to let her know you are attracted to her, but do so in an indirect, flirty way.
Make your intentions known in a playful way, but don’t come on too strong.
#2 – You Have Known Her For A While But Are Just Friends
There are a couple different situations you can find yourself in if you’ve known her a while and she never texts first.
The first one may be that you’ve made her a friend by choice. And have no plans or intentions of hooking up with her.
If you’ve made her a friend by choice, then her not texting you first is not a big deal. And is simply because you’re either not exciting enough to text or because you have nothing going on.
Your Friend (Who’s A Girl) Never Texts First
If your friend – who’s a girl – never texts you first, then you need to have something of value to offer her for her to text you first. She needs a reason.
Meaning, If you were super exciting to talk to and she had a blast every time she talked to you, and then you suddenly stopped the conversation, she would eventually text you first.
On that same note, if you had an awesome house party planned and invited all of her friends but not her – she would text you first.
Make sense?
You need to create a reason for why she would text you first.
And one of the easiest ways to to do this (powerful secret alert) is to suddenly stop texting her at some high point in the conversation. And then don’t text her again until she texts you first.
Being able to create a high point emotionally in the conversation (by making her laugh or flirting) and then cutting off the conversation with your absence is a great way to give her a reason to text you first.
Why?
Because you were the one that left the conversation, so for the time being, you have the power position. Which raises your value. And will also raise the likelihood that she will texr you first. So if you’re not ghosting her randomly for a day or two – start.
The Dreaded “Friend Zone”
The second situation you may find yourself in is that you are in the friendzone but don’t want to be. And you want to eventually hook up with her.
If you’re currently in the friendzone, do want to eventually hook up with her, and are thinking “she never texts me first”….
Then you have a big issue with stating your intentions and showing interest.
And the way to get out of that?
Become a dude who doesn’t care what people think.
She Never Texts First Because You’re At The Bottom of The Friend Zone
If this applies to you, I will be honest with you right now because you need it: this is the worst possible position to be in with a woman.
If you’re currently in the friend zone and don’t want to be, then you have some strides to make in the way you attract women.
You are most likely the stereotypical “nice guy” that wants to be “different than the assholes” and think the way to a woman’s pants is by “treating her like a princess unlike all those other mean guys”.
If this sounds like you, you are in trouble.
Because at this point, the only way to get her to text you first is to let her go for the time being, make some serious personal improvements, and then come back again with the skills of playfully showing interest in her and providing her value in the form of fun and flirtation.
If you are interested in learning those skills, I go over how to master them step by step on my exclusive email list, and will be sharing more in a later article.
#3 – You Have Known Her For A While And Have Hooked Up With Her At Least Once
If you’ve known her for a while, have hooked up with her at least once, and are currently thinking “she never texts me first…”.
Then you’re actually not in a bad position.
The fact that you’ve hooked up with her before means you were able to demonstrate enough value to be someone that she hooked up with. And by getting yourself to this point, you have already done 80% of the work.
On top of that, if you’re consistently hooking up with her and you guys text often, then her not texting you first could simply be the pattern you’ve established in the relationship.
She Never Texts First Because Of The Patten You’ve Established
There have been plenty of casual relationships I have been in where the girl never really texted me first because our routine was me texting her around 5pm on a Friday, us hanging out for the weekend and hooking up, and then only casually texting the rest of the week after that. And that was completely normal for us.
Again, we need to first decide if her not texting you first is even an issue by looking at the results you’re getting with her.
If she is being friendly to you and coming over when you ask her to, like my relationship above, then there’s no issue with her not texting you first.
But, if she’s cold and short over text – when you want to hook up with her again – then there is obviously an issue.
The answer to this situation, as well as all the others, is simple: You need to increase your value in her life by making yourself more relevant.
And you can do this by improving your text game, hosting events, or simply getting creative on ways to offer her value in her life. All of which I cover step by step on my exclusive email list.
If you have any additional questions, feel free to comment on this post, visit stepbystepdating.com or shoot me an email at grant@stepbystepdating.com.
Best of luck,
Grant