How To Talk To A Girl On Snapchat (The Ultimate Guide).
A lot of younger girls (below age 30) are addicted to snapchat. There’s not really another way to put it. To be honest, I didn’t originally didn’t have snapchat because I wanted to be the cool guy that didn’t use it, but when I learned how powerful it is when it comes to dating… I downloaded it. And have been happy I did.
Here is a complete step-by-step process when it comes to snapchatting a girl. The beginning of this post will be about what I think snapchat is good / bad for, and then get into the tactics.
This Is An Interesting Post
Because unlike other posts I have on this blog with screenshots and things circled everywhere, snapchat poses a problem:
You can see when people screenshot your stuff. So for the sake of this article, I’ll be going “undercover” and trying to give you my start-to-finish snapchat process without creeping anybody out.
Will it work? I have no idea. But let’s begin.
What Is Snapchat Good For In Terms Of Dating?
Great 2nd Step For Women Under Age 30 (Rough Age Estimate)
Snapchat is a great “second step” for girls (usually) under age 30. Meaning, once you have built up enough interest with a girl over a dating app, snapchat is a great place for you to move the conversation off of the dating app and onto something else. If she is close to or over age 30, the chances of her using snapchat go down dramatically. If the girl you’re trying to talk to is close to that age or above, I would move the dating app conversation to texting instead. Go for the phone number.
But either way, I would recommend moving the conversation off of the dating app as fast as possible.
Can See If You’re Being Catfished
Another reason snapchat is a great 2nd step is because you have the ability to see live pictures of people. And you don’t have to guess what the look like from a manicured dating profile.
One of the main reasons that snapchat is one of my go to “2nd step” is because I can see if I’m being catfished. Sounds harsh, but it’s true.
The truth is, people use pictures that make them look the best. And sometimes, this means using old pictures and lying about their age. I have also matched with smokin-hot trannies that have completedy convinced me they were women online, until we started sending snapchats. Once we began snapping, their manliness peaked through just enough that I was able to catch on and avoid a hotdog filled Saturday. Got ya, bucko.
Communicating With Someone Over A Longer Period Of time
Especially during quarantine, snapchat reigns supreme. When you’re texting someone, you have to put in a massive amount of effort trying to keep the conversation going and avoiding burnouts. Over a longer period of time (like a quarantine) this gets monotonous, boring, and repetitive. And this is when snapchat shines.
Because of how much lower pressure it feels than texting, you can “carry on” a snapchat conversation of the course of longer periods of times by saying 1-2 sentences at a time. This allows you to have the exact same amount of text content for 1-day text conversation, and spread it out over a week via snapchat. If you’re trying to long con, snapchat is your holy grail.
Video Conversations
One thing I like about snapchat is how you can have video conversations. Sometimes, instead of texting someone or sending them pictures, you will want to have video conversations because of how great your personalities vibe. If this is the case, snapchat is the answer.
Showcasing Your Lifestyle
Because of snapchat stories, you can not only talk to a girl you like, but you can also showcase your life to her and make her see how you’re a cool guy who does fun things.
Showing high-value snapchats of you doing things with your friends or having a grand ole’ time will actually help you build attraction with a girl you are talking to by showing her that you don’t need her to be happy. And this implied non-neediness will be interpreted as a big plus for you as a guy.
Building Deep Connections Quickly
Some people have pegged snapchat as a place to have “shallow conversations” but I completely disagree. I think it’s a platform that allows you to foster some of the deepest connections possible.
Not only can you have long conversations with someone, but you can also get a peak into their daily life. This allows you to see the actual person behind face on a dating app, and lets you analyze their situation and see if you might be a good fit for each other. Pair with this the ability to have video conversations (when you are both comfortable enough) and you have the ingredients for a deep and powerful connection, built entirely through snapchat.
What Snapchat Is Not Good For In Terms Of Dating
Logistics
Snapchat is a nightmare for logistics. Planning anything, sending addresses, or trying to discuss logistical issues of any sort is something you will want to do over text. Can it be done? Yes. Because you can screenshot everything. But if someone is in a car on their way to meet you and is actively trying to communicate with you via snapchat, then they are literally putting their own life at risk in a way that is completely unnecessary. Do yourself both a favor and do logistics over text.
Conversations With Many Different Points
Sometimes you will find yourself in conversations that I call “Point by points”. This means that although you are both sending 1-4 texts at a time, they are conveying ideas surrounding like 6 different topics. And each time one is responded to, another topic is added. This usually continues until you completely change the topic of conversation.
Although “point by point” texting can actually be great for building connection with someone and getting to know them, this type of conversation is a nightmare over snapchat. Because of how many times you will accidentally close out the snapchat window when trying to respond, you literally won’t be able to get enough points in. So if this starts to happen, either change how the conversation is going or get the person’s phone number or Instagram.
How To Talk To A Girl On Snapchat: Tactics
There will be three parts to this, and I’ll cover each part individually:
- Communicating with the girl via chat / pictures before the date
- Building attraction using stories
- Maintaining contact with the girl after the date
Let’s begin.
Talking To A Girl On Snapchat (Before The Date)
This is all about the period of time when you are friends with a girl on snapchat but haven’t yet been on a date. How should you go about it?
What works best for me is sending both pictures and small chats in responses to the pictures they send. The key with messaging on snapchat is that you’re going to want to make everything very fun and playful.
Sending Pictures
When sending pictures, you’re going to want to take good pictures of yourself and keep the captions to those pictures fairly brief. Don’t send any pictures where you look like an unshowered zombie, and try to keep any pictures of your dirty room out of it as well. Present a nice image of yourself.
Make statements in your snapchat pictures, don’t ask questions.
When sending snapchats to girls, try to avoid asking questions unless it’s natural in the conversation. You’re going to want to be able to strike up conversations by making statements about your pictures and then having the girl respond and comment to those pictures.
This means that instead of sending her a picture of your face and saying “hey” or “waddup”, send her a picture of you doing something and commenting on it. For example, you could send her a picture of you making drink saying something like “Went too hard on the tequila” or send her a picture of your friends and say “he is not sober”. Simple comments like these are invitations for the girl to join into your conversation. In the case of the tequila one, she will probably respond with something like “you can never have too much tequila” or “i hate tequila”. Either way, the conversation is now started.
Playfully Tease Her On The Pictures She Sends You
When the girl sends you pictures, you are going to want to tease her about some aspect of her pictures fairly often. But don’t take it too far. Meaning, don’t do it every single picture and don’t be too mean.
Throwing in a playful tease every once in a while tells the girl ‘I don’t take myself too seriously and you shouldn’t either’ and is a way to strengthen a connection with anyone. It also puts you in control of the frame, which is positive side effect.
Some common teases would be telling her that she wears the same outfit every day or that some aspect of her house is messy. Try to avoid teasing her about her looks (like her hair or the fact that she has no makeup) and stick to things that are fairly irrelevant like the terrible picture quality, fuzzy camera, or how she is contorting herself to find the right lighting. You want the tease to be strong enough to illicit a reaction, but soft enough that she still takes it as a joke and at some level finds it entertaining.
Incorporate Fake Joke Worlds Often
You’re going to want to incorporate fake joke worlds as often as possible. I have an article that goes more in depth about them here. Snapchat is the perfect place to create them.
Encourage Good Pictures With Chat Responses
One thing I find myself doing often is encouraging good snapchats from girls. If you get one that she obviously put some effort into, then I will usually respond and encourage it verbally through chat with something like “amazing” or “fire emoji” or anything like that. Then while also responding via chat, I will send another picture to continue the conversation. This general principle of rewarding what you like with verbal validation and can be used at any time, but works particularly well on snapchat.
Building Attraction Using Stories
Snapchat stories can be a great way to build attraction with someone without really doing anything other than showcasing your life. Women are attracted to high-value men, so you’re going to want to post things on your stories that high-value men would post. This is usually going to be you doing something fun or interesting, hanging out with your friends, or posting something unique.
Post Something Interesting When You First Add Her (And Get Her To See it)
When you first add a girl on snapchat, you’re going to want to post something interesting on your story as quickly as possible. The reason is because if you can get her to look at your first story and think about it in a positive way, then snapchat’s algorithm will work alongside her to push your stories to the front of her feed.
Post High-Value Stories
This is the most obvious part of building attraction through stories. You are going to want to avoid posting boring stories with boring opinions. If it’s not interesting or doesn’t show you doing something interesting, don’t show it. If it is funny, controversial, or shows you doing something interesting and proves to people that you have a social life, then post it. If you want to see what high-value stories look like, I’d recommend following Dan Bilzerian’s story to see what he does and doesn’t post.
The Snapchat Positive Feedback Loop
Once a girl opens your story and enjoys what she sees, she becomes likely to open it again. Once she opens it again (before the others on her feed) then snapchat will recognize this and start moving your snapchat stories to the front of her feed. This is great for you (if you post good stories) because once you can get her to click on the first couple stories, snapchat will begin showing her your stories over other people’s her friend’s list. And the more of your stories she watches, the more likely you are to stay at the front of her feed which in turns will make her more likely to keep watching.
Post A Slightly Controversial Caption On Top Of Your Stories
People are attracted to people that actually have opinions on things. Even if they don’t disagree with your opinion, that fact that you have a well-reasoned opinion will be means to earn respect by most people. And snapchat is no different.
When you take a stance on a certain topic (like saying Qdoba is better than Chipotle) people are going to want to express their opinions to you with either agreeing or dissenting opinions. When it comes to dating, it doesn’t really matter so much as to whether or not the girl agrees or disagrees with your opinion. What matters more is if she takes the time to respond.
Slightly controversial opinions like saying one restaurant is better than the other, or that sleeping with socks on is better than sleeping with socks off, is a fun and friendly way to get someone to engage with you in playful conversation. Throw one of these controversial captions over a high-value snapchat story, and you have all the ingredients for building attraction over snapchat.
Maintaining Contact With The Girl After The Date
Maintaining contact with the girl after the date is a lot easier on snapchat than it is via text. Compared to texting, snapchat makes it a lot more low-pressure and low-effort. Which is nice.
Keep Contact Between You Two Fairly Frequent, But Don’t Respond Too Fast
After the date, you’re going to want to be in regular communication with the girl. This means sending her comment (not question) based snapchats updating her about your cool life. If she doesn’t respond, that is fine. Just keep posting cool stories.
When she does respond, you’re going to want to (roughly) match her response time unless you have complete frame control. Meaning, if she takes 5 minutes to respond, take 5-10minutes to respond. Unless, that is, you have the leverage of the relationship tilted in your direction. If this is the case, you can respond quickly and get away with it.
Bind her soul to yours with a snapchat streak
Snapchat streaks are very interesting because it adds an element of “fear of loss” into the equation.
Even if you don’t necessarily LOVE somebody, if you have a snapchat streak with them, you will likely find yourself responding to their snapchats just to keep the streak going. It’s strange, but can be used effectively.
All you need to do to begin a snapchat streak is to snap her something and have her respond to it 3 days in a row. On day 3, the snapchat streak will show up. And as you talk more, the pressure to respond gets slightly stronger. Again, very weird dynamic, but it does work.
Move It Onto Text
Although snapchat is a great place to build connection with a girl, you’re going to also want to eventually move the majority of the “heavy lifting” off of it and onto text. This means that bigger conversations, interactions, and logistics will occur over text, and “maintenance” communication will occur over text. Unless you two are seriously dating, maintenance communication is all you need to keep the relationship going and foster a fun, casual relationship.
That is all I have for this article. If you need additional help, feel free to email me at grant@stepbystepdating.com or check out this free training.