How to respond to hey on bumble – and actually meet up.

“Hey” is one of the most common openers that girls will slide into your DMs with on Bumble. And how you respond to her “hey” message to you can quite literally make or break the entire interaction.

Instead of just responding “hey” back to her like every other boring guy she messages – she is giving you the opportunity to stand out with your wit and creativity.

Use this opportunity to your advantage.

What Is The Goal When Responding To Hey?

They way you respond to “hey” on Bumble will give the girl an instant first impression of the kind of guy you are portraying yourself as. It is important to be situationally aware and tailor your response to match the girl.

Yes, Attractiveness Is A Factor

The more attractive your pictures are on Bumble (and notice how I said how attractive your pictures are – not you) the more leeway you will have with slacking on a response.

For example, if you are a man 7 and you are receiving a message from a girl who is around a 5 in the looks department, then you could probably get away with saying something like “Waddup :)” or “Ello. How’s it going?” and the girl will likely continue the conversation and you have successfully responded.

But if you’re a man 6 and the girl is a 7 or 8 in the looks department, then you’re going to have to get a little more creative with your opener – and portray yourself as the man 8 or man 9 that she is looking for.

But Personality Is A Much Bigger Factor

When a girl sends you a message on Bumble, she has at least a slight interest in you. This means that at some level, she thinks you are attractive.

Even if you don’t think of yourself as the most physically attractive guy in the world, you still have a high chance of eventually meeting up with the girl if she’s sending you the first message. Because for women, how physically attractive you are is only a small piece of a larger puzzle.

Your job as the man is to make her feel like her decision to message you wasn’t a mistake. And to show you how cool you are. And ALSO to actively move the conversation forward as well.

You have To Move The Conversation Forward

Girls love to be chased, and just because she “has” to send the first message to you on Bumble, doesn’t mean that she should be moving the conversation forward. As the man, you are going to want to lead the majority of the conversation, and put the burden of the “moving the conversation forward” responsibility on your shoulders so that the conversation is always progressing towards something (like getting her insta / snap / number or meeting up).

How You Can Avoid “Heys” Altogether With A World-Class Bio

Before being stuck solving the “hey” puzzle, I would highly recommend learning to craft a bio that girls will respond to so you can reduce the number of times that you’re put into this situation. When done properly, instead of getting hey, you will get targeted responses like these (I said something about Leos in my bio):

Even though i’ll give you some strategies to respond to “hey” on Bumble down below, it is worth mentioning that you can reduce the occurrence of “heys” that you receive by crafting a bio that is engaging, showcases your strengths, and gives the girl something (or a couple somethings) to respond to.

I have an entire “How to write a bio” section here.

So, let’s get right into my favorite responses…

My #1 Response To Hey On Bumble Is…

The “Astrological Match-up” (Only When Applicable)

This is by far the most powerful opener I have found.

Sometimes you will find yourself in a position where the girl who sends you “Hey” has a star sign that is extremely compatible with yours.

When this happens, I usually respond with some type of star-sign compatibility chart and show how serendipitous us matching really is. This is HUGELY powerful.

Like this:

I call astrology “girl crack” or “the hot girl’s religion”.

Why? Because girls usually fucking LOVE it.

And if you find yourself in a position where your signs are compatible (or even incompatible, for that matter) it can be very beneficial for both you and the girl if you bring it to light. If you’re compatible, they’ll love it. And if you’re not, you’ll have something to talk about or tease her for.

Learn Basic Astrology

If you don’t know what astrology is, or don’t know much about it, learn. It does not take much time at all.

Astrology is one of the most powerful connecting points with a lot of attractive girls who consider themselves in some way spiritual. So if you don’t at least have a basic understanding (such as what signs your sign is and isn’t compatible with, and why) learn. You will be SO glad you did.

I Recommend The Co-Star App

I’m in no way sponsored by Co-Star but I do HIGHLY recommend at least downloading the app and making an account so you can acquire a basic understanding of what signs are compatible and aren’t compatible.

Also saying things like “Are you a big Co-Star girl” will win you points with these types of girls because of you showing a basic understanding of something that they are interested in. You can also DM girls on Co-Star, so Co-Star game is actually a thing (lol) that I have used to success as well. But back to Bumble.

#2 – The “Slightly Unexpected” Response

This response is one I find myself using quite a bit when I can’t find something to riff off of on their profile. For this response, all I usually do is respond to their question in a way that is slightly out of the ordinary, like saying “extremely fantastic” while using the emoji that they use (if one is used).

For this particular situation, the girl had mostly selfies of her in a mirror, and there wasn’t much that I could go off of. But one of the pictures she did have was a selfie of her wearing a nametag that looked like it was taken in a hospital bathroom. So that is what I used in the second message.

The Point Is To Convey You’re Not Like Other Guys

The point of the slightly unexpected response is to simply convey that you’re not like other boring guys who say things like “Im good” or “doing well”.

Even though very basic, saying something slightly unexpected like “extremely fantastic”, “absolutely wonderful” or “10/10 would recommend” can be a little conversational spark that opens the door to more conversation.

Don’t Say Anything Remotely Negative

Notice how all of my responses are highly positive. Almost over-the-top positive. This is what you want.

So many times I see guys giving a neutral or negative response like “my day could have gone better” and it literally makes me physically sick to see. A girl does not want a guy who is always throwing a pity party. A girl wants a guy who can take control of his own emotions, and chooses to remain positive / optimistic in all circumstances.

If you respond to the girl with anything that isn’t displaying a positive message, you’re going to be shooting yourself in the foot before you even get started.

#3 – The “Positivity + Profile Hotpoint” Response

This response is another one that I’ve used fairly often to success. For this response, you are going to want to do two things:

#1 – Keep the response POSITIVE and upbeat.

#2 – Mention something or ask a question about the “hotpoint” in their profile. The hotpoint is going to be something the girl is clearly trying to communicate via her pictures / bio. Sometimes it’s that she’s a party girl, sometimes it’s that she likes to hike, and sometimes (like in this case) it’s that she owns a business. Ask questions – while also being positive – that you think the girl would want to tell you about.

Her bio:

As you can see, this one is very simple. I first do the “slightly unexpected” response by mentioning that her name has a K in it, and then I ask about her profile hotpoint, which was the fact that she owned her own business. I then follow up with something positive – saying that’s awesome.

This response has allowed me to separate myself from other guys by making a slightly humorous comment about her name, has encouraged her to continue the conversation by asking about her business, and has also kept the frame of the conversation positive, so she is likely to open up more. Simple messages can do a lot for you.

Here’s another one.

Her bio:

As you can see with this thread, I just responded “Hey” and then made a comment about something she clearly wanted people to see. Which was her and her friends flying private. When she responded, I was able to spin the frame of the situation that because she flew private, she thought she was better than everyone else. And was able to make a joke out of it.

#4 – Responding And Creating Stories

This one is similar to the “slightly unexpected” response but also brings into the equation a completely new stream of conversation.

As you can see below, even simply capitalizing her name can be something that will set you apart from the rest. In this particular situation, I also felt that guys would always be rhyming her name – so I decided to call that out. She then said she didn’t like it, so I teased her by asking if she liked it (again) and asked her what the place she was referring to on her bio was. Very simple, but effective.

#5 – Current Events

This image was obviously pulled from Tinder, but the principle can still be applied to Bumble as well. All you’re going to want to do in this one is simply make mention of current events that you two can come together on. Heavy emphasis on TOGETHER.

If you’re going to go the current event route, be careful and aware who who you’re talking to. You’re going to want to choose something that you will likely see eye-t0-eye on, like me saying to the girl that the world is melting. As you can see, she agreed.

What you want to avoid is choosing something political and then disagreeing on it. Or choosing another relevant current event that has the chance to become political, and then disagreeing on the inference of the event itself. To make it simple…

Current event you agree on = good. Current event you disagree on = bad.

How To Respond To Hey On Bumble: The Core Principles

No matter what technique you end up going with, the goal is simple: To eventually meet up and hang out with the girl.

And although there are multiple different ways to skin a cat, there are some fundamental principles that you always want to keep in the back of your mind when you are engaging with women on online dating apps. Here they are:

Keep It Fun & Playful. Use GIFS And Make Jokes Often.

If you can just focus on making the conversation “fun”, then everything else will fall into place. I am never entering into a conversation with a woman thinking “how can I say x or x to get here to do this”. Instead, I am simply always asking myself “how can I make this conversation for fun and engaging?” and that mindset carries me through conversations.

When it comes down to it, we get into relationships because they feel good. And at our core, we all just want to feel good. So instead of making your dating life complicated, focus on being more fun, having more fun, and making people have more fun with you. Here’s an example of a good time to use a GIF (and be dramatic). I have an entire article on how to text a girl here.

Stand Out Using Unique Language

Your bio should be able to do most of the communication about who you are for you, and should help you avoid “Hey” messages altogether. But for that (hopefully) rare occurrence that you do still get a hey, it will be extremely beneficial to you to use uncommon statements and responses like “Extremely fantastic” or “absolutely fantublous” as mentioned above.

The point of doing this is to simply plant the seed that you’re not like the majority of other guys.(PIC)

Always Be High energy + Bring Positivity

The general rule of human interaction is that you’re going to want to be matching someone’s energy level or slightly above it. If you’re too low on energy, they will get bored of you and not want to be with you. But if you’re too high energy, you can come across as an ADD crack addict that just found a cellphone buried under his kilos.

That being said, you’d be surprised how high energy you can go without pushing people away. I am usually MUCH higher energy than any of the girls I talk to, and for the most part, girls will visibly raise their energy levels to try and catch up to where I am. This brings the entire energy in the conversation up, and makes it much more fun.

Try Being ‘Too High Energy’ If You’re Not Seeing Results

A slight add-on to the last principle is that people are attracted to high energy people. So if you’re currently not seeing the results you want when it comes to messaging girls on Bumble, try simply being “too high energy” instead. This means that you’re going to want to tap into your ADD crack energy and see how far you can take it before the girl starts pushing you away. Once you know the limits of how far you can take it, you will begin to see that being “too high energy” will never hurt you as bad as being too low energy.

Always Be Improving Your Bio To Avoid “Hey”.

Again, the goal of your Bumble Bio should be to convey your personality and give the girl something to go off of so she doesn’t send you the word “hey”. Because “Hey” is much more difficult to respond to then something you’re familiar with and have on your bio.

If you’re not getting a large majority of the responses sent to you by girls mentioning other things you have in your bio, then you’re going to want to check out this article here that helps you master the bio and help eliminate receiving “heys” dramatically.

And if you need additional help, free to check out this free training or send me an email at grant@stepbystepdating.com