Welcome to the ultimate guide on how to never run out of things to say.
Imagine being able to pull out the perfect thing to say at every moment with ease. How would you relationships improve? How would your self-confidence improve?
Warning: The advice in this article might shock you. And it may even challenge your current belief systems. All I ask of you is that you read this article with an open mind, and implement some of the techniques I’m going to share with you immediately so you can form field-tested opinions of your own.
So if you’re currently nervous, scared, or downright anxious to talk to people because you think you’re going to run out of things to say…
Or you don’t really trust yourself to say the right things or to come off as “smooth” when you need it most…
This guide on how to never run out of things to say is for you.
The Brutal Truth On How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say
It’s not what you’d expect, so get ready…
The brutal truth on how to never run out of things to say is this:
What you say doesn’t matter. It’s how you say it.
Now before you close out the article right now and send me spam emails accusing me of being an anti-vocalist, I want to really nail this point home:
The words you say are only about 10% of the equation. What’s MUCH more important than what you actually say is how you actually what you’re saying and how much belief you have in yourself that your own words are worth hearing.
Let me say that again.
What’s MUCH more important than what you actually say is how you deliver what you’re saying and how much belief you have in yourself that your own words are worth hearing.
Never Running Out Of Things To Say Starts With Your Self-Worth
Well that went 0-100 pretty quickly, didn’t it?
You bet it did.
But for good reason.
The reason we just skipped all the foo-foo stuff and went straight to the root of the problem is so you have a fighting chance at actually curing this disease of vocal ability for yourself forever – instead of simply covering it up with bandaids and ignoring that there’s an actual problem.
The reason it is so difficult for you to come up with things to say is simple:
You are valuing other people’s opinions over your life and your passions more than YOU value YOUR OWN life and passions.
With that in mind, running out of things to say isn’t a problem that you can just fix all by itself. Because it isn’t a problem all by itself.
Instead, running out of things to say is only a SYMPTOM of the bigger problem which is your current low self-esteem. But the good news is, you can fix this.
The Cure To Running Out Of Things To Say Is The Same Cure As Writer’s Block.
And that’s by one simple technique:
Lowering your standards.
To be quite frank, I think writer’s block is a fluke. A myth. A lie.
Take these articles for example. I can write a 3,000 word article – which most people would consider a “massive” post in about an hour and a half. And I never have to deal with writer’s block. Ever.
But how do I do it?
Well, before I tell you, I want to also mention that when I discovered the key to eliminating writer’s block forever – I also accidentally discovered the key of never running out of things to say. And I became an instant hit with women because of it (which is not a bad side effect to have).
The reason that lowering your standards will cure both your writer’s block and running out of things to say is because the problem isn’t actually “running out of things to say”. Nope. The REAL problem is “running out of things to say that you think other people will find valuable”.
And that’s the key.
When writer’s can’t put words on a page and claim they have fallen victim to writer’s block, what they are really saying is that “I can’t write anything I think people will like”. And because they are scared of social rejection, the stifle themselves.
But, tell a writer who’s suffering with writer’s block to put 500 really bad words on a page, and they can knock it out in a matter of minutes.
So from this, we can conclude that…
The Problem Isn’t The Words… It’s The Value We Place On Our Own Words.
In the same way as the writer’s block example, we can take someone who feels as though they are always running out of things to say and tell them to say 100 stupid words or they will be shot in the head.
Although a wildly dramatic example, that person with a gun to their head could riff off 100 stupid words within a matter of minutes. Albeit, the may or may not make much sense. But that’s okay.
Because again, it shows us that the problem isn’t the words themselves. It is instead how we are actively stifling our own expressiveness because deep down, we fear social rejection.
So how do we cure it?
The Key On How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say: Really Bad Practice
This may sound like the most counter-intuitive thing you’ve ever heard in your life. But the key to never running out of things to say ever again is to practice putting into use your “lowering your standards” muscle.
I call it a muscle because it is something that you will progressively get better at over time – although you can cure yourself of never running out of things to say extremely quickly.
And once you begin to practice and get it figured out, something crazy will happen. You will begin to experience moments in a conversation when things start “slowing down” for you. And you’ll notice yourself becoming much more witty in real time.
And to top it all off, once the conversations really start slowing down for you, that’s when you’ll REALLY be able to start dropping super witty comebacks and cry-till-they-laugh punchlines on people when you want, and where you want. People will be at your social mercy.
But you need to pratice.
Go Talk To 10 People And Actively Try To Say The Most Random Things Possible, But Say Them With Conviction And Passion
People are bored. And the truth is, they will listen to you – no matter what the topic is – if you can speak with a certain level of passion and conviction.
A great exercise you can do is by going to a public place (after quarantine, of course) and just striking up a conversation with random people. Shoot for 10 in a day. And during these conversations, you’re going to want to say the most random things possible while still having them hold a regular conversation. The reason for doing this is so you can see that people don’t really care about what you say, it’s how you say it.
When I meet someone new, I will often jump topics at an ADD-like level. This does a couple things for me.
#1 – It ensures that I will never run out of things to say. Because instead of talking about one or two topics, I am bringing up dozens of topics in a matter of a few minutes.
#2 – It keeps people engaged. People love watching things that are unpredictable and full of passion. While talking, I will get “angry” or “sad” about trivial things like me not having enough creamer or in the morning or my favorite sock getting a hole in it. The point is, you want to convey as many emotions as possible.
Genuine Questions About Somebody Are The Key To Them Doing The Talking For You
I once met a woman at a bar and began talking to her. Two hours later, we exchanged contact information, she gave me a kiss, and she told me I was an amazing conversationalist. But here’s the thing:
All I did was ask like 5 questions. She did the rest.
Everyone you talk to will have things they genuinely enjoy doing and are genuinely passionate about. Just like an excavator digs up bones from the ground, if you dig up topics that the person you are talking to loves by asking questions, they will never shut up.
In the case of the girl I mentioned above, I asked her why she was sitting alone and she said her friends just left but she wanted to finish her drink because it was her first time out in a year.
Being the naturally curious person that I am, I asked her why in the heck she hadn’t gone out in the last year. And she told me it was because she had just finished a research project for her hospital and had no free time during it. I asked what project she was doing, and she lit up like a lightbulb and went off. All I did was listen to her speak and give her positive feedback for speaking, saying things like “WOW”, “that’s awesome” and “really?”.
The 3 Magic Responses That Get People Talking Forever
These responses are so insanely powerful that when unleashed, will get people talking forever. Sometimes literally.
The key with these responses is that you have to thing of them as rewards. People tell you something about themselves, you reward them with a positive response. If you keep doing this while making them feel comfortable for sharing, they will keep going.
The 3 magic responses are the ones mentioned above. “WOW!” “That’s Awesome!” And “Really?”. With these 3 responses, and a continual curiosity about the other person, you will have a winning combination.
Here’s an example:
Me: Hey did you know I really love spoons?
Me: I love spoons. If my house was about to burn down, and all I had was a small sandwich bag to take things in, I would bring my 3 favorite spoons. Are you a spoon guy or a fork guy?
Stranger: Probably a fork guy. I pretty much eat two foods: Pasta and Salad.
Me: WOW! Really? Are you Italian?
Stranger: No definitely not Italian. I just really love that combination, and get too lazy to make anything else lol
Me: I feel that. Why are you in this park?
Stranger: Oh my wife is over there looking at paintings. We went to the Amazon for a couple weeks and she’s been really into it. I went and looked at the leather wallets. In fact, I just bought this *pulls out wallet*.
Me: WOW! That’s Awesome! Why the hell did you go to the Amazon?
Stranger: Well it’s a pretty crazy story…
They just keep going.
Genuine interest goes a long way.
It’s All About Conversational Width, Not Depth
If you talk about one topic with someone, you’re going to run out of things to say eventually. Jump topics often.
The best way to guarantee you never run out of things to say is by jumping topics consistently. There will be many times during a conversation where I will completely shift the conversation to a completely unrelated topic with a very curious, i-want-to-know-how-you-respond-to-this-question type of tonality and facial expression.
Here’s an example:
Me: What’s your favorite drink?
Girl: Vodka soda!
Me: Omg that’s the most basic of them all. (conversation jump) Were you raised in the hills?
Girl: Yeah, I actually was. But that’s not why I like vodka soda! I just hate the taste of alcohol…
Me: But you can still taste the alcohol in a vodka soda, lol. (double topic Jump) Are you cutting calories? Are you trying to be an Instagram model?
See how those topics were slightly related, but not really?
It’s jumps like these that keep a conversation fun and engaging. Practice them and you will become a pro.
Cut Yourself Off To Keep Things Interesting
One technique I often use when I am talking to someone new is cutting my own stories off and then immediately starting other stories. The best to avoid having nothing to say is to keep talking. You don’t have to end a story just because you start it.
The reason this is effective is because not only will it keep things interesting by constantly bringing up new topics, but when and if things get dry, you can say “oh right and…” and then continue finishing the story that you never actually finished.
Here’s an example:
So I went to the store the other day, and there was this giant lime. Like a lime the size of no other lime you have seen before. (story jump) And that reminds me, I once went to this small hole-in-the-wall boutique because I needed a last minute gift for my best sister, and all they had was this horrifically ugly lime-green purse. I ended up buying 3 as a gag gift, and she ended up keeping all of them. LOL. Anyway, I was considering what to do with this giant lime and then I remembered that my friend CHAD texted me about a margarita night as his house. (Story Jump) CHAD is literally the craziest guy ever. One time he filled his entire bathtub with sand sharks and named all of them Pablo Jr, #1-#15. He then gave them little hats and entered them into a race. (Story Jump) Have you ever seen a shark race before? They have these crazy ones in Australia where people will actually bet on their chosen sharks. It’s like an underground gambling ring that for some reason, nobody ever talks about.
See how that works?
You can literally just keep jumping stories and continue talking forever.
And again, the best part is, if things start getting a little dry, you can be like “Now what I was saying about the lime was…” and go back to older, unfinished stories.
How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say Checklist: Putting It All Together
- Here is a quick checklist for how to never run out of things to say:
- It doesn’t matter what you say. It’s how you say it.
- Believe that everything you say is amazing.
- Value your own opinion above everyone else’s.
- Ask genuine questions and have a genuine interest in other people.
- Give them good responses with good facial expressions to encourage them to talk.
- Find a topic they enjoy and watch them go. Be able to relate to topics you aren’t extremely familiar with.
- It’s about width, not depth. Bring up a lot of different topics in a short amount of time.
- Put emotion into everything. Don’t just tell someone how your toothe paste fell off of your toothbrush. Tell them how devastated you were that you couldn’t have that perfect dash of paste stroke your pearly whites.
- Practice having “bad” conversations where you aren’t putting any pressure on yourself.
- State your own opinions confidently and be ready to pleasantly disagree with people on occasion.
- Change topics often to keep things interesting.
- Cut your own stories off to keep things interesting and give yourself a fall-back if things go dry.
- Be okay with jumping illogically from topic to topic with confidence.
- Just go do it.