Getting a side chick is easier than you may have previously thought. IF you have the right girl, that is.
Some girls will despise being the side chick. And do everything they can to either make your commit or to break things off.
But for every girl like that, there are a bunch of other girls who are ready and willing to be the side chick. The key is to find the girls that want to be the side chick, and incorporate them into your life in a way that works out for both of you.
Here’s how to get a side chick.
What Is A Side Chick?
There are a lot of definitions for what a side chick is. Many involve the guy having one main woman and actively dating another on the side. But I want to go one step further.
My definition of side chick also includes a girl who is hooking up with a busy guy. This is a guy that is focused on work as his main priority, but wants to unwind either after work or on the weekends without the emotional baggage that comes with a bad relationship.
With this new definition of side chick, we can begin to see that a side chick is simply a girl you hang out with that has a “matching schedule”. Meaning you’re not officially dating, but you both make time for each other and see each other when it’s convenient for both of you.
A Lot Of Women Want To Be A Side Chick
Believe it or not, a lot of women aren’t looking for a full-blown relationship. And will be happy to be your side chick.
Finding a woman like this is key. Because if the girl doesn’t want to be a side chick, you will be fighting an uphill battle.
If you begin “side-chicking” girls that don’t want to be your sidechick, then you will basically be putting off the inevitable explosion for a period of around 3 months. And then, when the 3 month mark comes around, she will begin to get attached and ask you to be something more. Or act it out.
Then, when you say no, she will begin to get slightly resentful. And all of a sudden you’re in something that is as emotionally draining as a bad relationship.
It is important that you are up-front and honest with your non-committal ways so she knows what to expect. And if being a side chick isn’t something she wants, do not lie to her and tell her that you guys have a future together. Simply respect her decision and move on with your life.
Where To Find Side Chicks
The best place to find your next side chick is going to be either Tinder or bars. Tinder is known as the “hook up” app and bars are where you will find more wild, socially-open girls who will be in their “have fun phase” and not their “settle down phase”. This is great for you if you want a side-chick.
Find Your Side Chick On Tinder
If you decide to go on Tinder to find your side chick, do yourself a favor and spend some time making your profile presentable. The large majority of guys will put virtually 10% effort into their profiles. So when you actually make an effort, you will stand out above the rest. You want to get high quality pictures and at least one picture with a dog (more preferably a puppy).
If you don’t currently have high-quality pictures, simply ask a friend or post a craigslist ad saying you need pictures done and they will be a great piece for a new photographer’s portfolio. You will get many responses if you do it correctly.
Finding Your Side Chick At A Bar
If you choose to find your side chick at a bar, find a friend to go out with you. Having a wingman that is moderately good at approaching women will speed up the process of finding a side chick by a lot.
When you’re hitting on these girls at the bars, you are going to want to be very “man to women” and say things that are flirty and slightly risky.
By doing these types of things early, you will position yourself as a guy who is fit for a causal, side chick type relationship and not a guy who is destined for the friend zone or boyfriendom.
Avoid Boring Conversation At All Costs
This goes for both in text and in person. Bounce between cocky / funny humor while also sharing vulnerable details about your life when necessary.
The only reason a girl will be okay with being your side chick is if you the value you provide to her (usually in the form of fun) is worth maintaining the relationship.
With that being said, it is crucially important to always keep the conversation fun and interesting, and when it begins to die out, to cut it off before it fizzles. Here is a quick guide on how to text girls.
Let Her Know You’re Not Looking For Commitment Up Front
One of the worst things you can do is lie to the girl you’re talking to.
One thing you want to avoid at all costs is “selling the girl the dream” and then not committing to her after you’ve promised her the world.
Instead, let her know right away that you’re not really looking for anything too serious, and if she’s cool with that, you guys can have a great time. But don’t tell her that she has a chance to lock you down and then drag her on. This is bad.
How To Set Boundaries With Your Side Chick
When you have a side chick (or multiple) it becomes extremely important to set boundaries and have clear expectations for the relationship.
All of my side chicks have basically been side chicks to my work. Meaning, work was my #1 priority. I would work all day, not text them, and then either text them a little bit in the evening or spend some time with them on the weekend. In this situation, a side chick is great because you still get some companionship without boxing yourself in to the emotional commitment of a full-blown relationship.
Setting boundaries means thinking about, deciding, and communicating your expectations / standards.
One example of setting a boundary could be telling your side chick “I am going to be working most days so I won’t be able to text you until after 6pm during on weekdays”.
Telling her this puts the expectation in the relationship that you’re not going to be texting her during the day – which helps you focus on work and also helps you avoid boring or fizzling conversations. You can create the type of relationship you want, and then find a girl that is okay with the type of relationship you’ve created.
What To Do When Your Side Chick Catches Feels
It has been my experience that a side chick will “catch feels” about 3 months in. This means that the 3 month mark is about the time when they realize either “oh, he actually doesn’t want to commit”, or they start getting mad at you for doing things like hanging out with your friends or working on the weekends.
It is important to note that some women will initially agree to the side chick relationship with the intention of converting you into a boyfriend. Be very aware of this. This usually starts with them getting mad at little things you do, trying to get you to change, and then waiting for you to comply. When you start to feel pressure from the girl to change, it is time to take a step back and really evaluate if the relationship is going in the direction that you want it to.
Converting Your Side Chick Into A Girlfriend
On the flip side of the coin, you may actually find yourself in a situation where you want to make your side chick your girlfriend.
This can be a difficult situation because if you show too much interest and get too “clingy”, your side chick may actually become less attracted to you if a boyfriend isn’t what she wants.
The easiest way to make a side chick your girlfriend is to start actually treating her more like a girlfriend without really saying anything. This may mean that you stay with her longer, cuddle with her more, or invite her to a meal / walk / another date-type hangout.
You can also start calling her “bae” or “bb” and test the waters. If she doesn’t really say anything, then chances are she is comfortable with the idea of you becoming her boyfriend. If she really doesn’t want a boyfriend, and you hit her with “bae” or “bb”, the girl will usually cut it right when it begins. If that’s the case, don’t push too hard on the boyfriend thing. She probably has a few other guys she’s talking to and doesn’t want to limit her options. Keep her as your side chick and find someone else to date.
What you don’t want to do is explicitly ask her “I like what we have and I think we should go exclusive. Do you want to?” without any warning or signals. If you come too far out of left field with that, she will get a little spooked and will reconsider what the entire relationship has meant to you. She will also begin to wonder if you were only playing a character and acting fake. Instead of explicitly asking her, test the waters by treating her more like a girlfriend. Then see how she reacts.