Category: Status

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Attraction Online Dating Status

How To Play Hard To Get Over Text | 7 Tactics That Scream “High Status”

How to play hard to get over text | 7 Tactics That Scream ā€œHigh Statusā€

Playing “hard to get” over text is something that everyone should at least understand. They can choose to use these principles if they’d like to not.

For too many men, women actively use these principles on them (because it is just part of the game that we call dating) and these men have no idea that they are being actively gamed. This, in turn, sets up a an intelligent “trap” that a lot of them fall into – revealing that they are actually, in fact, low status.

Learn The Signs Of A High Status Man

On your path to becoming a high status man, you can learn the signs of what a high status man looks like. And start incorporating them into your way of being before you actually get there.

Let me say this right now: Nothing can replace the dating success that being a high status man will provide to you. But, you can (and should) actively work on getting better at dating by incorporating high status principles into the way you communicate.

General Principle: Who You Are Comes Through Over Text

The general texting principle is that who you are will come out through text. This means that in the same way someone meets you in person and can get a feel for who you are in real life, they will also be doing this to you over text.

Put simply, you can’t fake being high-satus. You can only work on yourself, and get there over time.

But with that being said, you can actively “game” girls to perceive you as higher status than you actually are. And that perception of you – and the feedback you get from it – will help you solidify your identity as someone who has an abundance of options (and is therefore higher status).

#1: Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

The biggest key to texting like a high status man is never taking yourself too seriously. When you are texting with a women, there will be normal gaps in message times that may last hours, or even days. When these happen, the worst possible thing you can do is take it personally, get offended, and make some snarky, clearly-taking-yourself-too-seriously type comment.

#2: Use Texting Mainly For Witty Banter & Logistics

This is the definition of what I call “fake joke worlds”. I go deeper into how to create fake joke worlds in my “how to keep a conversation going” article. Notice how we are bantering back and forth and then I start figuring out logistics for the next day. Most of your exchanges (as in a “block” or “bunch” of your texts) should be about 75% witty banter and 25% planning something with the girl. When plans are made, you say “Cool. see you then :)” then stop texting her – until you send the confirmation text before the date.

Most of your texting should be witty banter & logistics. This means you want the majority of your texting to be about finding free times to hang out, scheduling dates, confirming dates, and so on. Guys who text a girl all day long are putting themselves at risk for being viewed as either boring or too available. You need to be able to create a feeling of scarcity / mystery / unpredictability in the person you are texting.

#3: Vary Your Response Times

Question mark from question words. Search answers. Vector illustration.

The general rule is that you want to be the one who is taking longer to respond. This means that if she texts you back in 5 minutes, take 9 or 10. If she takes 30, take an hour. Etc. Being the one that takes longer to text back (on average) will keep you in a high status position.

But along with this general rule, you’re also going to want to pepper in quick texts to keep her on her toes.

This means that every once in a while, you are going to want to reply very quickly, and even have a short quick-text conversation with her for about 5-10 messages. Once the quick conversation is almost over, shift again to a longer response time.

#4: Use GIFS & Memes to be wickedly Funny

With so many gifs & memes, you can literally make a funny joke about anything (like walking somewhere). I have a good section of an article on using gifs & memes in this article here.

One of the biggest turn-ons for girls is a guy who can out-banter them, and make them laugh in a variety of ways. If you’re currently not someone who thinks you’re very funny, you’re going to want to practice being more relaxed and taking more social risks.

I often think to myself “what is the most outlandish possible thing I could say at this moment” and then say it without fear of what the other person thinks. This is a good start to learning humor, as the better you get at improv, the funnier you will become.

#5: Try And Use statements, Not Questions (unless they’re logistical, you’re just getting to know her, or it’s right after a mini-ghost).

I just realized I use the Grant Jr thing a lot…

A high-status man will normally text in statements, not questions. Unless, that is, he’s warming a mini-ghost back up, getting to know the girl for the first time, or figuring out logistics, such as “what time works for you on Saturday?”. Obviously there will be exceptions to this rule, but saying “let’s go to the beach this weekend” will hold your personal power much better than asking the girl “Hey, would you want to go to the beach this weekend?”.

One of the most powerful dating skills you can cultivate is learning to get responses from girls without asking questions. This skill is based upon making friendly assumptions about the girl instead of asking, and will work even better if you throw in a joke as well (aka a super-assumption).

This will allow you to keep the ball in your court, and still have a great communication with the girl. She will appreciate the conversation as well because it is (usually) much more fun than being interrogated.

Here are some examples:

1 – Question: What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Statement: You seem like a girl who loves rocky road ice cream.

2 – Question: Can you hang out this weekend?

Statement: My friend’s bailed on our Brunch Saturday. Looks like i’m going to be forced to brunch you down then sleep on your couch :\.

3 – Question: Do you want to hang out today?

Statement: I was supposed to help lather my grandmother in her peppermint ointment but she cancelled on me. Come drink wine & cry with me

You get the point.

#6: Mini-Ghost Often (And Then Respond In An Upbeat Way).

I was busy, so the mini-ghost ended up being 3 days. Try for just 1 day at first. Few things to notice here. #1 – how she was the one that texted me. The mini-ghost works. Also notice how I am asking “unnecessary” questions – like how her shift was – because I am trying to actively build up a little more comfort with her post mini-ghost. This shows that there is no hard feelings between us and that I want to talk to her. These types of situations are where the girl will usually ask you what you are doing that night or later in the week.

This may be the most powerful high-status indicator on the list.

Once you have built up a rotation of women and have a limited amount of time to spend with new ones, you will do this naturally without thinking about it. But until that point comes, you’re going to have to manufacture it.

The Mini-Ghost is when during a normal conversation, you just stop responding to her for the day. You then respond the next day during the afternoon, continuing the conversation as if nothing happened (while always remaining positive). This means that when you respond the next day, you want to keep the respond on the positive side. Works especially well if you can work a joke in to the response too (***but never make mention of your response time or apologize for it***).

Also never do a mini-ghost and have the next text you send to her remotely negative, or it will backfire. Remember: always neutral or positive.

Warning: For every action is an equal and opposite reaction. When you do the mini-ghost, you’re going to get a reaction out of the girl, no matter what. But sometimes, the reaction you will get from the girl will be a mini-ghost of her own. If this happens to you, do not freak out – as it is completely normal response. Instead of worrying if you’ll never talk to her again or sending her a salty (OR DOUBLE) text, simply wait for her to respond, and then respond an hour(ish) after she does like nothing happened. The conversation will then pick back up, and status has been created.

#7: Always Confirm Logistics If You’ve Scheduled A Date

This one is common sense, but a lot of guys are (for some reason) scared to do it for fear of low status. These guys are simply confused. When you schedule a date with a girl (let’s say for 7 pm), you are going to want to send a confirmation text like “see you @ 7?” about 3-4 hours before the actual date. As a high-status man – or a man who’s on his way to becoming one – your time is immensely valuable. And you can’t waste it getting ready, driving to, and showing up for a date that the girl isn’t going to be at. You need to know she’s going so your time is not wasted. Let me repeat, there is nothing low status about sending a confirmation text if you keep it simple and say something lime “still on for x?”. It is what sane people who care about logistics do.

BONUS #8: Text Her The Day After You Get Her Number, Later In The Day

Got her number the day before. Making normal conversation.

When you get a girl’s number, you’re going to want to text her “yo it’s (name)” soon after you get her number. This is common sense. But the next text you’ll want to send her will be some time late in the next day, unless you think you have a high chance of meeting up with her that night (obviously). If you can see her that night, text her and go for it. But if it wasn’t too sexual / playful of a conversation, then you’re going to want to wait until the afternoon of the following day to follow up your “yo it’s (name) text” or her “Hi!” text in response to yours. Whether she responds or not, if you’re not 70% sure you can see her that night, then do yourself a favor and wait till the next day.

If you need any more help, send me an email grant@stepbystepdating.com or check out this free training.

-Grant

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Status

Alpha Male Strategies | 10 Strategies To Live Like An Alpha Male

Here are some of the best alpha male strategies that I have come across and incorporated in my own life.

It is important to remember that alpha male strategies aren’t just techniques you can pull off to achieve alpha status. Alpha male strategies are instead ways of thinking – that alpha men carry within themselves – in their own daily lives.

Know Yourself

One of the Alpha male’s strategies to extreme confidence and success is knowing himself better than anyone else. This allows him to shed insults with ease and attack his goals with relentless focus. An alpha male does not spend time dwelling on his insecurities or his failures, instead he puts that mental energy into something productive, like his next project. An alpha male reflects on his purpose daily and can course correct in real-time when he catches himself drifting.

Take Responsibility For Your Life

The alpha male takes responsibility for everything in his life. He laughs at the people he sees complaining and blaming everyone and everything else for their problems – as he sees they are trapping themselves in victimhood and mediocrity. The alpha male always reflects on every negative situation and tries to decipher the truth of it – seeing where he may have made a mistake and where he could have improved. The alpha male is not afraid to admit to himself that he isn’t where he needs to be yet. He accepts it and begins putting in the work. The alpha male also takes personal responsibility for the group. If the group begins to stray, the alpha male will carefully correct the group and state his case for why they should change their direction and follow him.

Put Your Purpose First

The most important alpha male strategy is to put your purpose above everything else. The reason a purpose is so important is because of how difficult it is to establish a purpose. The average guy goes through life without realizing that a purpose is something that is chosen, and wastes his entire life waiting for a dream that never comes. Instead, the alpha male chooses his own direction, and commits. He understands that with all of the opportunity in the world we live in, choosing is the hardest part. He trains himself to trust his intuition, and to continually progress forward, even when doubt regarding his decisions may creep into his mind. He understands he can course correct at any time, and nothing is more powerful than intelligently and diligently moving forward with his eyes wide open. An alpha male also creates “sacred time” for his purpose. An alpha male is a pro at setting time aside each and every day to progress towards what he wants to manifest into reality. He understands the preciousness of this block of time, and guards it with his life – saying no to anyone who may try and impede upon it.

Put Your Opinion First

An alpha male trusts his own judgement, perception, and intuition more than anyone else’s. He has learned throughout his life that facts are hard to come by, and so much of our physical world is colored by subjective opinion. Because of this, he has learned to always trust his intuitive instincts, because history has proven them right over and over again, even in the face of opposition. The alpha male believes his preferences, tastes, and opinions are more correct than anyone elses. He is able to hear and understand other people’s point of views, and if they don’t seem reasonable to him, he will politely disregard them and stand firm in his own truth. He is not afraid to speak his mind and let people know when he does not approve of their behaviors.

Put Your Tribe First

The alpha male treats members of his tribe like one of his own. His purpose is hard to separate from the people he leads, because they are an integral part of his vision and his success. The alpha male always looks out for his people, protects them against threats, and inspires them to conquer enemies / obstacles. The alpha male understands that tyranny is only a short-term solution, so hearing and understanding all of his people is a major part of his worldview. When his followers fall out of line, the alpha male is not afraid to course correct them and maybe even inspire fear in them to keep them following command.

Be More Passionate

The alpha male has a natural passion or “life energy” that drips off of him and is felt by everyone in his presence. It is not uncommon for the alpha male to find that people close to him start to take interest in the things he likes, or to adopt words that he uses. His passion alone can inspire and entertain anyone in conversation, as people who meet him rarely come into contact with someone who is taking life head on.

Inspire People With Words

The alpha male can influence people’s decision making abilities by influencing them with words and showing them the benefits of thinking what he thinks and believing in what he believes. Because the alpha male believes in himself so much, the majority of people tend to take his word at face value simply because of the conviction that he speaks with. And the people who initially disagree may begin to doubt their own opinions and perspectives.

Know When To React And When To Let Things Go

The alpha male knows when to take action and when to let things go. There are many things in this world that the alpha male can not control. Not only is he okay with that, but he has dedicated his life to focusing and dedicating his energy only towards what he can control: His thoughts, words, and actions.

Know How To Set Boundaries

Boundaries are communicated expectations. They are what protect the alpha male from wasting his time / energy on people and or things that may drain him of his valuable, precious energy. To maintain successful relationships, the alpha male sets boundaries by letting people know what he expects and what he will not put up with. The power in his boundaries lies in his ability to walk away. He needs nothing from anybody. He is the definition of self love (which I will touch on in a sec) and needs only his own validation to move forward in this world. More often than night, people do not test his boundaries more than once because they feel the conviction in his voice when he sets them. He knows what he wants (and doesn’t want) and is a master at communicating these things to other people and having them obey them.

Love Yourself

The alpha male loves himself. Meaning although he is unsatisfied with where he is currently at and is always striving for more, he balances that insatiable ambition with a state of contentment for his current self and the situation he is in. He spends no time beating himself up or reflecting on the past, unless it is to learn or serves some sort of purpose for him. His level of love for himself which he has cultivated over the course of many years radiates off him, and it is not uncommon for people who come into contact with him to feel and absorb his confidence and contentment.

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Attraction Dating Online Dating Status

Dating After College | The 3 Skills To Master Dating After College

For some people, dating after college can become a serious drop-off compared to what they were doing during their 4-year party.

But for other people, dating after college can become the best dating scenario they’ve ever experienced in their lives.

So what separates these two groups of people?

It’s simple:

One group has mastered the “dating after college” skills while the other hasn’t.

And I’m going to show you these skills – and teach how to build them up – right now. Step by Step.

Dating After College Is A Skillset That Needs To Be Learned

You can’t just fall into dating after college. You need to actively grab the reigns on your dating life and commit to making it the best it’s ever been.

The truth is, dating after college can be WAY better than dating in college ever was. I know that for me personally, my dating life didn’t transcend to it’s final form until I graduated, moved on, and really learned the skills necessary to put myself in the best position for success.

Because that’s exactly what it is. A skillset.

You can learn to get better at dating. And doing so will make your post-college life 1000% better.

The 3 Skills You Need To Be Successful For Dating After College

To have an abundant dating life after college, you need to master these 3 skills:

  • Finding people that you want to date (locating them)
  • Attracting those people to you (both in person and online)
  • Landing dates and moving things forward (closing)

These 3 skills are literally all you need to take your dating life after college to a place you’ve never even imagined. And although they are extremely simple in theory, they do require some EFFORT. Which i want to touch on right now.

The #1 Reason People Have Trouble Dating After College – Effort.

Effort is by far the biggest reason that people have trouble dating after college.

The large majority of people don’t put in the effort required to learn dating skills.

They don’t put in the effort required to go out and meet people.

They don’t put in the effort required to create a good looking online profile by having someone take high-quality pictures of themselves…

People just don’t put in the effort.

So if you want to separate from the crowd and be a success story, you’re going to first have to understand that while it does take some effort, it really doesn’t take that much. And taking that extra step will be a huge factor in your success.

Now let’s get into each one of these 3 skills, one by one.

Dating After College Skill #1: Finding People You Want To Date

Most people who have trouble dating after college don’t have trouble finding people to date. They have trouble finding the right people to date. And there’s a lot of factors that go into the skill of finding the right people to date.

Step #1 is to ask yourself the question of “who is the type of person I want to date?” and then once you have that answer, you can then ask yourself “where would this person hang out? What would they be doing at this time on the weekend? Who’s the type of person they would be attracted to?”

And then once you have the answer to those questions…

You can begin figuring out where they’ll be and what they are are attracted to. And once you know THAT, you just show up where they are as the type of person they’d be attracted to. It’s really that simple.

Meeting People Online Vs In Person

This is a debate that I think is very silly.

The truth is, online dating works. Even if it may not currently be working for you.

Some people who get into dating after college completely demonize online dating, which makes absolutely no sense to me. They are actively shutting out millions of people who they would not normally meet in their day-to-day life. And then complain about not finding anyone.

Both online and in-person work for meeting people. But again, both require effort and reflection. If you’re not meeting the type of person that you want to meet, it’s time to take an honest look at how you present yourself (and your online profile) and ask yourself “what type of person would be attracted to the person that I am projecting to the world?”

And chances are… it’s a lot of the type of people you’re currently dating.

Make Your Profile Better And Get Better Style

If you’re serious about taking your dating life after college to a new level, you’re going to want to have a killer dating profile and something presentable to show them when you meet them in person (aka your personal style).

both of these things do not cost a lot of money.

You can put an ad on craigslist to have an aspiring photographer take high-quality pictures of you for their portfolio. You can have your friend with the newest iphone take a portrait picture of you while you’re doing something cool. It literally doesn’t matter what you do, just make sure you have high-quality pictures and a funny, well-thought out bio. Put some effort into your dating life and watch the results come around.

In the same way, increasing your style isn’t expensive either. This is especially important for guys.

Going to H&M and buying a well-fitting shirt, some nice pants, and a pair of nice shoes will cost you under $100. Get one solid outfit and wear that on your first dates. Just be presentable to the person you are talking to. The goal is to be the person that the person you are dating will want to tell their friends about by saying “omg I’m dating this person and they are so cool”. Image is a factor in getting them to say that.

Dating After College Skill #2: Attracting The People You Want To Date

Now that you have an idea of where the person you want to date usually goes, it’s time to ask yourself that second question of “who is the person I want to date usually attracted to?”. And then become that person.

What I see all too often is girls who post photos of themselves smothered in makeup and wearing skimpy clothes, and then complaining about how they can never find guys who want to commit.

Are you kidding me?

Take a look at your profile bbgirl.

You are using sexuality as your attraction mechanism and then complain about you are attracting guys that only care about easy wins. This is when self-reflection is more important than ever.

In the same way, if you’re a guy who wants to date a really attractive women, but won’t even put the effort into getting one nice outfit that you can wear out in public, you are doing the same thing to yourself.

You are projecting to the world something that is attracting (or repelling) a specific type of person, and then complaining about it. Which is the opposite of you need to do.

Instead, you want to think about who the person you want to date would normally be attracted to, and then do everything in your power to make yourself (or at least seem like) that person. And that will help you tremendously.

Building Up Your Attraction Skills (For Men)

If you want to build up your attraction skills, you are going to want to learn how to project high-status behaviors. This is especially important for men.

The reason this is so important is because women will still find you attractive if you have high status behaviors but aren’t the most physically attractive guy. This means that women aren’t so much attracted to what you look like, they are attracted to who you are as a person.

This is an amazing thing because this means that if you aren’t the tallest, smartest, or best looking guy around, you can still have an amazing dating life by mastering high status behaviors and eventually becoming a core-deep high status person. In fact, some of the dude who come to mind when I think of the word “player” are some friends that I have who are only 5’3 and 5’4. These dudes PULL. And here’s why.

High status behaviors for men include:

  • Confidence
  • Masculine life energy
  • Passion
  • Belief in themselves and their own opinions
  • High self-image
  • The conviction in their voice
  • Ability to lead others

And so much more.

What all of these things have in common is that they are skills that can be learned. And while I will not be touching on how to increase each of these individual skills right now, I cover all of them in-depth on my exclusive email list.

Dating After College Skill #3: Landing Dates And Moving Things Forward

Once you’ve located the people you want to date and can attract them, the next step is to actually go on dates and move things forward with the people that you want to establish romantic relationships with.

You can do this by developing the attractive qualities above and combine then with the closing skills necessary to capitalize on opportunities and take actual steps toward getting the result you want in your own dating life.

Landing A Date From A Dating App

I have a complete post on landing a date from a dating app that you can view here. I also have a complete step-by-step guide on what to do after you match with someone here. But I’ll cover some of the highlights here.

#1 – Have an opener that shows some effort. The opener doesn’t have to be the craziest, most original thing in the world, but it should go above and beyond the usual “hey” or the usual “what 3 things would you take on an island with you?” that people normally do.

#2 – Be able to keep a conversation interesting. I show you exactly how to do this in the link in the intro of this section of the article. Being able to keep a conversation interesting is extremely important in being able to land date after date after date. I mean think about it…

Why date someone boring when you could date someone who is fun, interesting, and engaging. It’s an easy choice.

#3 – Move the conversation off of the dating app when you have enough leverage to do so. This is important as well. You want to move the dating app to another communication medium (like texting or snapchat) as soon as you have enough leverage to do so. Meaning, as soon as she likes you enough to agree to it, and won’t reject your advances.

#4 – Propose a date when you have enough leverage, and then stop texting her until you need to confirm logistics. This means that once you feel like she likes you enough to go on a date with you, you’re going to propose a date to her, and once she agrees, give her a couple different time choices to meet up with you. Then once she agrees, you’re going to want to wrap up the conversation and stop texting her until your date. This will keep the status you’ve built in place and will give you the opportunity to capitalize on what you’ve already done during the date. Too many guys mess things up by saying too much or dragging things out over text.

Landing A Date In-Person

Getting a date in person is the same process as getting a date from an online dating app. The only difference is that you will obviously be doing it in person.

Learning to land dates in person will help you create a dating life after college that most people can only dream about. The reason is simply because that most people will not have the courage to go out, work on their social skills, and take their dating life destiny into their own hands.

Go Indirect. Give Her An Excuse To See / Talk To You Again

It has been my experience that going “indirect” with my initial advances has had highest success rate when it’s came to dating women that i’ve wanted to date.

This means that when you’re outside of a bar / club, proposing reasons to do something that involve a similar interest will have a much higher rate of success than simply saying to a girl “I’m talking to you to see if I like you and if we should go on a date”. Although that does work as well.

An example of this would be me meeting a girl at some type of business networking event. Instead of saying “you’re hot we should date”, I will find something that her and I share interests in, and will give her a reason to contact me and discuss said things. From that point, we can genuinely discuss what we are interested in and will have the opportunity to see if we like each other in the future.

Doing this allows us to become “friends” first (while also still maintaining attraction to each other) and gives me a better shot at closing her on a date when she already knows who I am and what i’m into.

“Friends” Is Not The Same As “Friendzone”.

Wanted to hit on this real quick. Becoming friends with a girl (at first) is not the same as being in the friendzone. Although they can both be happening at the same time.

The friendzone is when a guy has no chance of dating a girl because he is too much of a simp. She sees his simpness and does not want to make babies with him for fear of making more little simpbabies. This is different than treating a girl like a friend in the early stages of attraction.

Treating a girl like a friend means treating her like one of your buddies. This means that you are treating her in a way that is fun, friendly, welcoming, and honest. Meaning you are saying what you would normally say, and doing things that you would normally do. AKA not putting her on a pedestal.

I can’t explain to you how many times I have began treating a girl only as my friend, and then have had her chasing me weeks later. The fun, welcoming, and non-needy vibe that comes with treating her a friend is one of the most powerful techniques I have ever come across when it’s come to landing dates with women I want to date.

A Few Additional Tips On Closing

Closing is simply asking the question that leads something in the direction you want it to go.

Meaning, if you want to go on a date with a girl, closing would be asking her a question like “I’m free on Friday to get some drinks. Do you want to grab a couple?” and putting yourself in a position to get a yes or a no.

Too many guys are afraid to close because there is always the risk of getting rejected. The truth is, you’re going to get rejected at some point in your life. The key isn’t to avoid getting rejected, the key is learning the skills necessary so you get rejected as minimally as possible, and when you do get rejected, learning to move on with your life and learn from the experience if you can.

Using “Heat Checks” To Close Before You Close

One of the most powerful ways to close anything in life (meaning sales, women, friends, jobs) is to first “heat check” the situation to see exactly where you both stand.

One great way to do this for guys is by creating “fake joke worlds” with women. I go into this a lot more in-depth on the post I have linked above (or here), but it is essentially setting up a hypothetical situation for you two and seeing how she reacts to it. Her reaction will let you know if she is willing to move forward with you right now or if you still have work to do.

Here is an example of heat checking by creating a “fake joke world” with a women:

You: I only drink black coffee because It makes me look really cool and also gives me the power to kill bears with my bare hands.

Her: haha omg! You’re like 85 years old! I need mine to be half creamer, extra sweet, with everything else on it!

You: Wow. Good to know that you’ll be drinking pure sugar on our first coffee date. I’ll bring an extra bag of organic white granulated so I can sprinkle it on your hair while we talk about any daddy issues that are worth noting.

Her: HAHA WHAT?! Now i’m going to drink only black coffee on our first coffee date just to show you who’s boss. And who doesn’t have daddy issues ;).

So what I just depicted above was me creating a “fake joke world” of us getting coffee together, and she accepted it by saying she’d actually drink black coffee to prove me wrong. If she texted back something that completely shut down my entire fake joke world, then I would simply laugh it off and continue the conversation. But because she agreed to it, I now know that if I were to propose an actual coffee date, she’d say yes.

If you want to learn more, I have a free training going that will help you increase your dating success. Check it out.

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Status

How To Increase Your Social Status At School Quickly

How to increase your social status at school quickly.

If you’re currently someone who doesn’t feel as “cool” as they know they could be, then it may be time to increase your social status at school.

Contrary to popular belief, social status isn’t fixed. It’s actually something you can increase (or even decrease) depending on the actions you take and the value you can provide for the group.

In this article, I’ll give you some tangible how-tos on how to increase your social status at school both directly (through action) and indirectly (through the behaviors you display in a social setting). If you’re looking to increase your social status at school quickly, you’re definitely in the right place.

What Is Social Status?

Social status is simply the hierarchy that humans put themselves in according to either competence or resources. Meaning the richest or most skilled is usually at the top.

Humans have a very sensitive meter for judging someone’s status, so it’s important that you learn how people are going to judge you either consciously or unconsciously.

Luckily, skill and resources isn’t the only thing that determines someone’s social status, although it does have a lot to do with it. Another way to display high social status is to simply act like someone who has high social status. Because displaying these behaviors will go through people’s unconscious filters and they will automatically assume that you are more high status than you really are.

For the sake of this article, I’ll break “increasing your social status at school quickly” into two parts: providing tangible value & displaying high-status behaviors. Because both are extremely important, and don’t work as well unless combined together.

Increasing Your Social Status By Providing More Value

There are usually two tangible ways to increase your social status at school that work better than all of the others. And that’s either throwing parties (or hosting events) or dating and hanging out with the hottest girls.

When you learn the skills of making friends and throwing parties, or the skills of dating and hanging out with the hottest women (which I teach you here), then you will automatically be able to manifest two of the things that people want most in school – a fun time or an attractive partner.

The Time You Spend Learning “High Status” Skills Will Never Be Wasted

The time you spend getting better at making friends, planning and organizing parties, and dating the most attractive people is never wasted. Why?

Because those skills will be viewed as “high status” for the rest of your life. And will only serve you more and more in the future.

But let me say this now:

You will need to get out of your comfort zone. And so many people fear getting out of their comfort zone because they think the results they get won’t be worth the pain they endure.

But let me tell you this now…

If you take the time to get better at learning these skills…

And you focus on getting better at your craft…

It will be worth it.

Let’s get into it.

High Status Skill #1: Learning How To Throw Parties (And Events)

Throwing random parties with random people won’t do it.

You’re going to need to throw parties that some of the most high status people in your area come to. And you can do this by creating “hype” around your event.

But before you get to that point, you’re going to want to get good at the skill of inviting people to things and doing things with them. And you can begin this process by simply doing just that: doing small things like group trips or smaller events and inviting people to them. Then working your way up from there.

Group AirBnBs

Group Airbnb’s are great starter events for throwing parties and having a really good time.

Basically, for a group airbnb, all you’re going to want to do is find a large house in a nice location, and then rent it out for the night while having each person that attends split the cost.

Going one step further – If you are of legal drinking age – you can get supplies to make “jungle juice” and get some food / snacks as well, and factor that all into the equation. Djs would be a good idea too if you can make it work.

By doing these smaller parties, you will learn the skills necessary to throw the bigger ones that everyone will want to come to. And if you do it right, people will even start talking about these parties after they are over. And as word spreads, demand for them will increase.

Connecting Social Circles (Becoming the “Hub” person)

One way to instantly become higher status is by inviting people from different social circles to some type of event and then bringing them together with you as the common thread.

The reason doing this works so well is because you will be garnering social proof from each friend group while also putting you as the person with the most attention. Meaning, each friend group will think “wow, he has a lot of friends” and out of all the people there, you will be the one taking up the most of the space in their minds. You will be the highest value one.

Conversely, you can also simply make friends with the “hub” people and have them invite you to things as well. When they do, you will usually meet a large amount of similar people and can leverage those connections for throwing that larger party that the highest status people in your school come to. And that’s when things really take off.

Throwing The Party That Shoots You Into High Status Success

There will be one party or event that will secure your spot at the top of the hierarchy better than any of the others. And it will be the one that all of the high status people in your school come to.

At most schools, these high status people are usually going to be athletes, dancers / cheerleaders, social butterflies, “bad boys” that hang out with the high status people, etc. Your goal is to get all of these people to your parties, and you can do this with social calibration.

How you’re going to want to do this is by creating “hype” around the party. That means promising big things and then delivering.

Once the hype is built, you can invite friends of the high status people and tell them it’s going to be LIT. And once the friends are bought in, they will then invite the high status people to come. And once you have all of these people in one place, with you being the center of it, that is when you’ve just became high status.

High Status Skill #2: Dating / Hanging Out With The Most Attractive People

This one works particularly well for men. Why? Because what do all men want?

An attractive partner.

So if you can be the guy that routinely hangs out with beautiful women, then you will be someone that is instantly shot up to being viewed as high status, by both men and women.

When women see you with other attractive women, the instantly think that you are a high status man. And in the same way, when men see you with beautiful women, they will want to know how you did it, and how they can hang out with you. This is when you can ask other high status men to hang out with you and these beautiful girls, and then once they agree to it, boom. You’re now higher status.

So… How do you do it?

The short answer is by betting your dating skills up which I teach here in this free training. Which, in a nutshell, is learning to be a high status man combined with the skills of moving things forward and closing. If you can do these two things, you will be successful.

Mastering High Status Social Behaviors

The other, more intangible way to gain social status without actually building up resources (like parties, money or dating more attractive people) is by simply displaying high status behaviors. Some of the most important behaviors you can incorporate into the way people perceive you are these:

But before I reveal them to you, let me share with you the most important statement you will ever read in your life:

The world will accept the judgment you place on yourself and treat you accordingly.

Write this on your fridge and read it every morning:

The world will accept the judgment you place on yourself and treat you accordingly.

This means that whatever you believe of yourself, that is how you’re going to be treated. So the key to becoming higher status is to first believe you can become higher status, and then start acting like it.

Here are some high status indicators:

  1. Body language
  2. Voice
  3. Eye contact
  4. Value of your own opinions
  5. Carefreeness
  6. Charisma
  7. Style

And while all of these are important – and are all things I cover on my exclusive email list – I’ll touch on a few of the most important ones here.

A Crazy, Unknown “Hack” That Instantly Gives You More High Status Behaviors

The easiest way to “fix” the low status things about yourself are by coming up with little statements that when followed, help you exhibit more high status behaviors. Why?

Because the truth is, you intuitively know how to do all of these high status things. The problem is, you’re letting your mind get in the way. So you need to quiet your mind down, and start acting things out. And you can do this with simple statements I’ll explain in just a second.

A great statement to teach yourself to fix your low status walk is by simply asking yourself this question:

How would someone walk if they were winning at life?

Once you ask yourself that question, just start walking like someone who is winning at life. And once you do it, you will understand that the weirdest part about it is, you already knew how to do it…

You just never did.

It is by asking yourself little “questions” like this that will help you get out of your mind and more into your body. And once you learn something in your body, you will be able to repeat it over and over again until it becomes a habit. And once it becomes a habit…

It quite literally, becomes you.

Valuing Your Own Judgements And Perceptions Of The World More Than Other People’s (Confidence)

Confidence is one of the most important high-status traits you can cultivate if you want to increase your social status at school quickly. Because people love confident people.

And although confidence is a term that is thrown around a lot, people don’t ever really get into the true factors that come with building up a level of core confidence that inspires people to be with you. So we’ll cover some of that right now.

One of the biggest factors in confidence sounds kind of corny, but it’s truer than anything else. And that’s building up the belief in yourself and how you view the world.

The truth is, there is no “right” way to see the world. Everyone has their own opinion. And just because someone has a different opinion or perspective as you, doesn’t make them right. It just makes your opinions different. Understanding this will allow you to hold firm in your views even when you come into contact with someone who disagrees. And holding your ground and believing in yourself is a major key player in projecting confidence.

Understand That Nothing Is “True”

Nothing is true.

This means that everything you’ve ever learned is only someone’s opinion. And can be tested.

Obviously, there are some exceptions to this. Like Gravity. Gravity is definitely there.

But the reason having this perspective is so powerful is because when it comes to subjective conversations like which color is the best, or which movie is the funniest, you will be able to put your own opinion on something at the same level (or even above) that of others. And this projects massive confidence to the people around you.

Creating A Deeper Voice To Increase Your Social Status At School Quickly

Believe it or not, your voice plays a huge factor in how people perceive you. And contrary to popular belief, you can actually make your voice deeper if you want to.

While there are many techniques, tips, and tricks to getting a deeper voice, the 3 biggest things are going to be caring less, breathing deeper, and trying to talk in a slightly deeper voice than you normally do. I’ll touch on all of these things briefly.

Caring Less To Get A Louder Voice

A lot of people can’t talk loudly in public. Have you ever wondered why?

The reason is because of status.

The people that can’t talk loudly in public think of themselves as low status, and are afraid that if they talk loudly in public and draw attention to themselves, the high status people will come and kill them. Which, obviously, is an out-dated biological mechanism.

So how do you talk louder in public and in friend groups?

By practicing and caring less what people think.

You will notice that when you go to public places, you may talk very quietly. This means you have some “low status” in you and are afraid people will judge you for speaking your beliefs loudly. This is something that you need to shake out.

The easiest way to do this is by going to places like grocery stores, coffee shops, and events and speaking to people there in a louder-than-average voice. And keep practicing until you get louder and louder. It will be tough at first, but you will get better.

Breathing Deeper For A Deeper Voice

This one is simple. Just sit down, and start taking the largest “stomach breaths” that you can. This means that you will want to take breaths that gradually increase the amount of air you can exhale. The more air you can manage, the deeper your voice will be.

Start Talking Deeper

The quickest way to a deeper voice is by talking deeper.

And while your voice may not be the deepest around, we all have “levels” to our voice that people can tell if we’re talking on the higher side of our vocal range or the deeper side. You always want to be talking on the deeper side.

Practicing this day in and day out will eventually expand your vocal chords and allow you to talk in a much deeper voice than you ever previously could. This was something that worked tremendously for me.

Increase Your Social Status At School Quickly: Putting It All Together

Throughout this article, you’ve learned that to increase your social status at school quickly, you need provide value to higher status people and exhibit high status behaviors.

Although all of this is important, nothing may be more important than you simply deciding that you want to be more high status. Your teachers can’t make that decision for you. Your mom and dad can’t make that decision for you. Your friends can’t make that decision for you.

It is completely up to you to learn the skills you need to become a high status man and live the life you know that you’re capable of living.

Nobody is going to save or do it for you.

The time is now.

If you liked this article, check out this free training on how to date more beautiful women.

Categories
Dating Status

How To Get A Side Chick | The Easy Way To Get A Side Chick


Getting a side chick is easier than you may have previously thought. IF you have the right girl, that is.

Some girls will despise being the side chick. And do everything they can to either make your commit or to break things off.

But for every girl like that, there are a bunch of other girls who are ready and willing to be the side chick. The key is to find the girls that want to be the side chick, and incorporate them into your life in a way that works out for both of you.

Here’s how to get a side chick.

What Is A Side Chick?

There are a lot of definitions for what a side chick is. Many involve the guy having one main woman and actively dating another on the side. But I want to go one step further.

My definition of side chick also includes a girl who is hooking up with a busy guy. This is a guy that is focused on work as his main priority, but wants to unwind either after work or on the weekends without the emotional baggage that comes with a bad relationship.

With this new definition of side chick, we can begin to see that a side chick is simply a girl you hang out with that has a “matching schedule”. Meaning you’re not officially dating, but you both make time for each other and see each other when it’s convenient for both of you.

A Lot Of Women Want To Be A Side Chick

Believe it or not, a lot of women aren’t looking for a full-blown relationship. And will be happy to be your side chick.

Finding a woman like this is key. Because if the girl doesn’t want to be a side chick, you will be fighting an uphill battle.

If you begin “side-chicking” girls that don’t want to be your sidechick, then you will basically be putting off the inevitable explosion for a period of around 3 months. And then, when the 3 month mark comes around, she will begin to get attached and ask you to be something more. Or act it out.

Then, when you say no, she will begin to get slightly resentful. And all of a sudden you’re in something that is as emotionally draining as a bad relationship.

It is important that you are up-front and honest with your non-committal ways so she knows what to expect. And if being a side chick isn’t something she wants, do not lie to her and tell her that you guys have a future together. Simply respect her decision and move on with your life.

Where To Find Side Chicks

The best place to find your next side chick is going to be either Tinder or bars. Tinder is known as the “hook up” app and bars are where you will find more wild, socially-open girls who will be in their “have fun phase” and not their “settle down phase”. This is great for you if you want a side-chick.

Find Your Side Chick On Tinder

If you decide to go on Tinder to find your side chick, do yourself a favor and spend some time making your profile presentable. The large majority of guys will put virtually 10% effort into their profiles. So when you actually make an effort, you will stand out above the rest. You want to get high quality pictures and at least one picture with a dog (more preferably a puppy).

If you don’t currently have high-quality pictures, simply ask a friend or post a craigslist ad saying you need pictures done and they will be a great piece for a new photographer’s portfolio. You will get many responses if you do it correctly.

Finding Your Side Chick At A Bar

If you choose to find your side chick at a bar, find a friend to go out with you. Having a wingman that is moderately good at approaching women will speed up the process of finding a side chick by a lot.

When you’re hitting on these girls at the bars, you are going to want to be very “man to women” and say things that are flirty and slightly risky.

By doing these types of things early, you will position yourself as a guy who is fit for a causal, side chick type relationship and not a guy who is destined for the friend zone or boyfriendom.

Avoid Boring Conversation At All Costs

This goes for both in text and in person. Bounce between cocky / funny humor while also sharing vulnerable details about your life when necessary.

The only reason a girl will be okay with being your side chick is if you the value you provide to her (usually in the form of fun) is worth maintaining the relationship.

With that being said, it is crucially important to always keep the conversation fun and interesting, and when it begins to die out, to cut it off before it fizzles. Here is a quick guide on how to text girls.

Let Her Know You’re Not Looking For Commitment Up Front

One of the worst things you can do is lie to the girl you’re talking to.

One thing you want to avoid at all costs is “selling the girl the dream” and then not committing to her after you’ve promised her the world.

Instead, let her know right away that you’re not really looking for anything too serious, and if she’s cool with that, you guys can have a great time. But don’t tell her that she has a chance to lock you down and then drag her on. This is bad.

How To Set Boundaries With Your Side Chick

When you have a side chick (or multiple) it becomes extremely important to set boundaries and have clear expectations for the relationship.

All of my side chicks have basically been side chicks to my work. Meaning, work was my #1 priority. I would work all day, not text them, and then either text them a little bit in the evening or spend some time with them on the weekend. In this situation, a side chick is great because you still get some companionship without boxing yourself in to the emotional commitment of a full-blown relationship.

Setting boundaries means thinking about, deciding, and communicating your expectations / standards.

One example of setting a boundary could be telling your side chick “I am going to be working most days so I won’t be able to text you until after 6pm during on weekdays”.

Telling her this puts the expectation in the relationship that you’re not going to be texting her during the day – which helps you focus on work and also helps you avoid boring or fizzling conversations. You can create the type of relationship you want, and then find a girl that is okay with the type of relationship you’ve created.

What To Do When Your Side Chick Catches Feels

It has been my experience that a side chick will “catch feels” about 3 months in. This means that the 3 month mark is about the time when they realize either “oh, he actually doesn’t want to commit”, or they start getting mad at you for doing things like hanging out with your friends or working on the weekends.

It is important to note that some women will initially agree to the side chick relationship with the intention of converting you into a boyfriend. Be very aware of this. This usually starts with them getting mad at little things you do, trying to get you to change, and then waiting for you to comply. When you start to feel pressure from the girl to change, it is time to take a step back and really evaluate if the relationship is going in the direction that you want it to.

Converting Your Side Chick Into A Girlfriend

On the flip side of the coin, you may actually find yourself in a situation where you want to make your side chick your girlfriend.

This can be a difficult situation because if you show too much interest and get too “clingy”, your side chick may actually become less attracted to you if a boyfriend isn’t what she wants.

The easiest way to make a side chick your girlfriend is to start actually treating her more like a girlfriend without really saying anything. This may mean that you stay with her longer, cuddle with her more, or invite her to a meal / walk / another date-type hangout.

You can also start calling her “bae” or “bb” and test the waters. If she doesn’t really say anything, then chances are she is comfortable with the idea of you becoming her boyfriend. If she really doesn’t want a boyfriend, and you hit her with “bae” or “bb”, the girl will usually cut it right when it begins. If that’s the case, don’t push too hard on the boyfriend thing. She probably has a few other guys she’s talking to and doesn’t want to limit her options. Keep her as your side chick and find someone else to date.

What you don’t want to do is explicitly ask her “I like what we have and I think we should go exclusive. Do you want to?” without any warning or signals. If you come too far out of left field with that, she will get a little spooked and will reconsider what the entire relationship has meant to you. She will also begin to wonder if you were only playing a character and acting fake. Instead of explicitly asking her, test the waters by treating her more like a girlfriend. Then see how she reacts.

If you need more information how to get a side chick, feel free to check out this free training or join my exclusive email list.

Categories
Dating Status

She Stopped Texting Me Out Of Nowhere | How To Revive Her Love

“She stopped texting me out of nowhere” is something every guy has said at least one in his life.

The truth is, nobody knows what’s going on in the mind of the girl you’re talking to. But when she’s not texting you back, it’s because she has other things in her life that are higher priority than sending you a text.

So what do you need to do?

Make yourself higher on her priority list.

I’m going to show you how.

But first, here’s what not do.

Don’t Text Her And Ask Why She Didn’t Text You Back

I feel weird even putting this in the blog post, but I’ve seen it happen. Some guys will literally text the girl “why didn’t you text me back?”.

Doing that will kill it. Instantly.

Why?

Because it shows neediness. And it shows you care too much.

Do you think the guy that has 8 girls begging for his attention cares if one of them doesn’t text him back?

Nope. He barely even notices.

And this is how you need to start thinking if you’ve ever though about sending a “why didn’t you text me back” text.

Don’t Keep Texting Her With Other Questions Or Updates On What You’re Doing

If she suddenly, stops texting you, the worst thing you can do is continually follow up with bad, attention-seeking text messages.

If she stopped texting you out of nowhere, you’re going to want to analyze the situation and have a gameplan for reviving it. Did you just begin talking? Have you been talking for a while? Do you have mutual friends? Etc. All of these scenarios will add to the situation, and should be considered when planning your revival.

That being said, simply throwing more messages at her like asking what she’s doing or sending something you noticed about your day is only going to dig you deeper in the hole.

If she stopped texting you, you have a value issue. And texting her again and again that same day isn’t going to raise your value in her eyes. In fact, it will do the opposite.

Don’t View Any Of Her Social Media Posts

If she stopped texting you out of nowhere, don’t view her social media posts. You want to starve her of your attention and validation.

Way too often, guys will be left on read and then immediately click on her snap or instagram story just to see what she’s doing. This is a bad situation to put yourself in.

These girls check who is viewing their story religiously. And if she hasn’t texted you back and sees you’ve viewed her story in the first 30 seconds, she’s going to think you’re a guy that’s not doing anything interesting and are someone she could easily get. Remember, she wants a challenge. Give it to her.

If she stopped texting you out of nowhere, you are going to want to actively avoid watching, liking, commenting, or interacting with any of her social media. Leave no trace of your presence. And once she sees that you have no interest in seeing what she’s doing, she will be slightly more interested in resuming your text conversation.

Now here’s what to do.

If She Suddenly Stopped Texting You Out Of Nowhere, Social Media Stories Are Your Best Friend

If she suddenly stopped texting you out of nowhere, your stories are going to be your best friend. The goal is to post something really interesting that you’re doing that says “I don’t care whether you text me back or not. I’m gonna do me, sweetie”.

Girls are a master at doing this. I will literally text a girl for multiple weeks in a row without her posting anything on social media. And then if I just happen to not text a girl back for whatever reason, she will “just happen” to post something on her story during the time that I wasn’t texting her. This has happened more times than I can count.

A lot of the best attraction techniques are actually going to be used by women on you. Try and think about why what they did made you want them, and then use those tactics for yourself.

That being said, when she doesn’t text you back, one of your best plays is going to be posting something cool on your story. Preferably you DOING something cool with your friends.

A large majority of the time, the girl will see you doing something cool and will either watch your story or respond to it.

If She Responds To Your Story, Don’t Reply Right Away

Once you get better at posting cool stories, you will notice that girls who were on the fence with you will begin to reach out to you more and more.

When this happens, the best thing you can do is conceal your feelings and act like you like her less than you actually do.

This means that when she responds, wait to send a response. And when you do send a response, make it something short like a devil emoji or winky face.

Sending a short response will put you in a good position for when you send the next message. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a girl DM me responding to my story, I respond with one emoji, and then either she texts me later in the week to hang out or I initiate a conversation – that she is happy to be in – that also leads to us hanging out.

But the key is how good your stories are.

If You Don’t Have Her On Social Media, Send a Joke / Gif A Couple Days Later

Posting on your stories is by far the best way to build your value and get back into a conversation with her. But if you don’t have her added on social media, then you’re going to have to play the longer game.

When she suddenly stops texting you out of nowhere, your best bet is to wait at least 2 days to reinitiate the conversation. The reason being is that she may just been busy and forget to text you. If that’s the case, she’ll text you the next day apologizing.

But if you don’t hear from her the next day, then you’re going to want to text her the day after that (2 days from when she stopped texting you) and send her something funny with a GIF. The key is to start a brand new conversation and initiate it with value in the form of playfulness and humor. That is your best move forward if you can’t social media your way to success.

Additional Tips On Keeping Your Value High When She Suddenly Stops Texting You

If she suddenly stops texting you out of nowhere, you’re going to be caught in a status-centered balancing act. The key is to hold your power.

Here are some quick-fire tips to make sure you revive your situation in the quickest way possible:

  • Don’t reach back out to her and ask why she didn’t text you back
  • Don’t keep texting her with questions or updates on your life
  • Don’t reach out to her on another platform
  • Post cool, valuable stories to your social media accounts as much as possible
  • Wait 2 days before you contact her again via text. And if you do, make the text FUNNY and provide some sort of value in the form of humor, playfulness, or entertainment
  • Be okay with her not texting you back. Don’t dwell on it. Get your skills up and find other girls.
  • If she doesn’t respond to your revival text, move on and keep posting great stories.

And if you need any more help, feel free to visit stepbystepdating.com or send me an email at grant@stepbystepdating.com

Categories
Dating Status

How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say | The Ultimate Guide

Welcome to the ultimate guide on how to never run out of things to say.

Imagine being able to pull out the perfect thing to say at every moment with ease. How would you relationships improve? How would your self-confidence improve?

Warning: The advice in this article might shock you. And it may even challenge your current belief systems. All I ask of you is that you read this article with an open mind, and implement some of the techniques I’m going to share with you immediately so you can form field-tested opinions of your own.

So if you’re currently nervous, scared, or downright anxious to talk to people because you think you’re going to run out of things to say…

Or you don’t really trust yourself to say the right things or to come off as “smooth” when you need it most…

This guide on how to never run out of things to say is for you.

The Brutal Truth On How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say

It’s not what you’d expect, so get ready…

The brutal truth on how to never run out of things to say is this:

What you say doesn’t matter. It’s how you say it.

Now before you close out the article right now and send me spam emails accusing me of being an anti-vocalist, I want to really nail this point home:

The words you say are only about 10% of the equation. What’s MUCH more important than what you actually say is how you actually what you’re saying and how much belief you have in yourself that your own words are worth hearing.

Let me say that again.

What’s MUCH more important than what you actually say is how you deliver what you’re saying and how much belief you have in yourself that your own words are worth hearing.

Never Running Out Of Things To Say Starts With Your Self-Worth

Well that went 0-100 pretty quickly, didn’t it?

You bet it did.

But for good reason.

The reason we just skipped all the foo-foo stuff and went straight to the root of the problem is so you have a fighting chance at actually curing this disease of vocal ability for yourself forever – instead of simply covering it up with bandaids and ignoring that there’s an actual problem.

The reason it is so difficult for you to come up with things to say is simple:

You are valuing other people’s opinions over your life and your passions more than YOU value YOUR OWN life and passions.

With that in mind, running out of things to say isn’t a problem that you can just fix all by itself. Because it isn’t a problem all by itself.

Instead, running out of things to say is only a SYMPTOM of the bigger problem which is your current low self-esteem. But the good news is, you can fix this.

The Cure To Running Out Of Things To Say Is The Same Cure As Writer’s Block.

And that’s by one simple technique:

Lowering your standards.

To be quite frank, I think writer’s block is a fluke. A myth. A lie.

Take these articles for example. I can write a 3,000 word article – which most people would consider a “massive” post in about an hour and a half. And I never have to deal with writer’s block. Ever.

But how do I do it?

Well, before I tell you, I want to also mention that when I discovered the key to eliminating writer’s block forever – I also accidentally discovered the key of never running out of things to say. And I became an instant hit with women because of it (which is not a bad side effect to have).

The reason that lowering your standards will cure both your writer’s block and running out of things to say is because the problem isn’t actually “running out of things to say”. Nope. The REAL problem is “running out of things to say that you think other people will find valuable”.

And that’s the key.

When writer’s can’t put words on a page and claim they have fallen victim to writer’s block, what they are really saying is that “I can’t write anything I think people will like”. And because they are scared of social rejection, the stifle themselves.

But, tell a writer who’s suffering with writer’s block to put 500 really bad words on a page, and they can knock it out in a matter of minutes.

So from this, we can conclude that…

The Problem Isn’t The Words… It’s The Value We Place On Our Own Words.

In the same way as the writer’s block example, we can take someone who feels as though they are always running out of things to say and tell them to say 100 stupid words or they will be shot in the head.

Although a wildly dramatic example, that person with a gun to their head could riff off 100 stupid words within a matter of minutes. Albeit, the may or may not make much sense. But that’s okay.

Because again, it shows us that the problem isn’t the words themselves. It is instead how we are actively stifling our own expressiveness because deep down, we fear social rejection.

So how do we cure it?

The Key On How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say: Really Bad Practice

This may sound like the most counter-intuitive thing you’ve ever heard in your life. But the key to never running out of things to say ever again is to practice putting into use your “lowering your standards” muscle.

I call it a muscle because it is something that you will progressively get better at over time – although you can cure yourself of never running out of things to say extremely quickly.

And once you begin to practice and get it figured out, something crazy will happen. You will begin to experience moments in a conversation when things start “slowing down” for you. And you’ll notice yourself becoming much more witty in real time.

And to top it all off, once the conversations really start slowing down for you, that’s when you’ll REALLY be able to start dropping super witty comebacks and cry-till-they-laugh punchlines on people when you want, and where you want. People will be at your social mercy.

But you need to pratice.

Go Talk To 10 People And Actively Try To Say The Most Random Things Possible, But Say Them With Conviction And Passion

People are bored. And the truth is, they will listen to you – no matter what the topic is – if you can speak with a certain level of passion and conviction.

A great exercise you can do is by going to a public place (after quarantine, of course) and just striking up a conversation with random people. Shoot for 10 in a day. And during these conversations, you’re going to want to say the most random things possible while still having them hold a regular conversation. The reason for doing this is so you can see that people don’t really care about what you say, it’s how you say it.

When I meet someone new, I will often jump topics at an ADD-like level. This does a couple things for me.

#1 – It ensures that I will never run out of things to say. Because instead of talking about one or two topics, I am bringing up dozens of topics in a matter of a few minutes.

#2 – It keeps people engaged. People love watching things that are unpredictable and full of passion. While talking, I will get “angry” or “sad” about trivial things like me not having enough creamer or in the morning or my favorite sock getting a hole in it. The point is, you want to convey as many emotions as possible.

Genuine Questions About Somebody Are The Key To Them Doing The Talking For You

I once met a woman at a bar and began talking to her. Two hours later, we exchanged contact information, she gave me a kiss, and she told me I was an amazing conversationalist. But here’s the thing:

All I did was ask like 5 questions. She did the rest.

Everyone you talk to will have things they genuinely enjoy doing and are genuinely passionate about. Just like an excavator digs up bones from the ground, if you dig up topics that the person you are talking to loves by asking questions, they will never shut up.

In the case of the girl I mentioned above, I asked her why she was sitting alone and she said her friends just left but she wanted to finish her drink because it was her first time out in a year.

Being the naturally curious person that I am, I asked her why in the heck she hadn’t gone out in the last year. And she told me it was because she had just finished a research project for her hospital and had no free time during it. I asked what project she was doing, and she lit up like a lightbulb and went off. All I did was listen to her speak and give her positive feedback for speaking, saying things like “WOW”, “that’s awesome” and “really?”.

The 3 Magic Responses That Get People Talking Forever

These responses are so insanely powerful that when unleashed, will get people talking forever. Sometimes literally.

The key with these responses is that you have to thing of them as rewards. People tell you something about themselves, you reward them with a positive response. If you keep doing this while making them feel comfortable for sharing, they will keep going.

The 3 magic responses are the ones mentioned above. “WOW!” “That’s Awesome!” And “Really?”. With these 3 responses, and a continual curiosity about the other person, you will have a winning combination.

Here’s an example:

Me: Hey did you know I really love spoons?

Stranger: What?

Me: I love spoons. If my house was about to burn down, and all I had was a small sandwich bag to take things in, I would bring my 3 favorite spoons. Are you a spoon guy or a fork guy?

Stranger: Probably a fork guy. I pretty much eat two foods: Pasta and Salad.

Me: WOW! Really? Are you Italian?

Stranger: No definitely not Italian. I just really love that combination, and get too lazy to make anything else lol

Me: I feel that. Why are you in this park?

Stranger: Oh my wife is over there looking at paintings. We went to the Amazon for a couple weeks and she’s been really into it. I went and looked at the leather wallets. In fact, I just bought this *pulls out wallet*.

Me: WOW! That’s Awesome! Why the hell did you go to the Amazon?

Stranger: Well it’s a pretty crazy story…

See that?

They just keep going.

Genuine interest goes a long way.

It’s All About Conversational Width, Not Depth

If you talk about one topic with someone, you’re going to run out of things to say eventually. Jump topics often.

The best way to guarantee you never run out of things to say is by jumping topics consistently. There will be many times during a conversation where I will completely shift the conversation to a completely unrelated topic with a very curious, i-want-to-know-how-you-respond-to-this-question type of tonality and facial expression.

Here’s an example:

Me: What’s your favorite drink?

Girl: Vodka soda!

Me: Omg that’s the most basic of them all. (conversation jump) Were you raised in the hills?

Girl: Yeah, I actually was. But that’s not why I like vodka soda! I just hate the taste of alcohol…

Me: But you can still taste the alcohol in a vodka soda, lol. (double topic Jump) Are you cutting calories? Are you trying to be an Instagram model?

See how those topics were slightly related, but not really?

It’s jumps like these that keep a conversation fun and engaging. Practice them and you will become a pro.

Cut Yourself Off To Keep Things Interesting

One technique I often use when I am talking to someone new is cutting my own stories off and then immediately starting other stories. The best to avoid having nothing to say is to keep talking. You don’t have to end a story just because you start it.

The reason this is effective is because not only will it keep things interesting by constantly bringing up new topics, but when and if things get dry, you can say “oh right and…” and then continue finishing the story that you never actually finished.

Here’s an example:

So I went to the store the other day, and there was this giant lime. Like a lime the size of no other lime you have seen before. (story jump) And that reminds me, I once went to this small hole-in-the-wall boutique because I needed a last minute gift for my best sister, and all they had was this horrifically ugly lime-green purse. I ended up buying 3 as a gag gift, and she ended up keeping all of them. LOL. Anyway, I was considering what to do with this giant lime and then I remembered that my friend CHAD texted me about a margarita night as his house. (Story Jump) CHAD is literally the craziest guy ever. One time he filled his entire bathtub with sand sharks and named all of them Pablo Jr, #1-#15. He then gave them little hats and entered them into a race. (Story Jump) Have you ever seen a shark race before? They have these crazy ones in Australia where people will actually bet on their chosen sharks. It’s like an underground gambling ring that for some reason, nobody ever talks about.

See how that works?

You can literally just keep jumping stories and continue talking forever.

And again, the best part is, if things start getting a little dry, you can be like “Now what I was saying about the lime was…” and go back to older, unfinished stories.

How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say Checklist: Putting It All Together

  • Here is a quick checklist for how to never run out of things to say:
  • It doesn’t matter what you say. It’s how you say it.
  • Believe that everything you say is amazing.
  • Value your own opinion above everyone else’s.
  • Ask genuine questions and have a genuine interest in other people.
  • Give them good responses with good facial expressions to encourage them to talk.
  • Find a topic they enjoy and watch them go. Be able to relate to topics you aren’t extremely familiar with.
  • It’s about width, not depth. Bring up a lot of different topics in a short amount of time.
  • Put emotion into everything. Don’t just tell someone how your toothe paste fell off of your toothbrush. Tell them how devastated you were that you couldn’t have that perfect dash of paste stroke your pearly whites.
  • Practice having “bad” conversations where you aren’t putting any pressure on yourself.
  • State your own opinions confidently and be ready to pleasantly disagree with people on occasion.
  • Change topics often to keep things interesting.
  • Cut your own stories off to keep things interesting and give yourself a fall-back if things go dry.
  • Be okay with jumping illogically from topic to topic with confidence.
  • Just go do it.

And if you’re ready to master your dating skills or take your charisma to an entirely new level, feel free to visit stepbystepdating.com or apply for my exclusive email list here.

Categories
Attraction Status

Daygame | The Ultimate Daygame Dating Guide

If you’re wanting to meet more cute girls, there’s one specific skillset that, when mastered, will transform your dating life forever:

Daygame.

Daygame – in a nutshell – is the act of talking to women during the daytime with the intent of either getting their contact information or going on a date with them that very same day. It’s a lot of fun.

But being more than just fun, daygame is also an essential skill to have if you want to build up a rotation of beautiful women that will allow you to choose your next girlfriend from a place of options and abundance instead of scarcity and limitation.

Guys Put Too Much Pressure On Themselves During Daygame

A lot of guys put way too much pressure on themselves during daygame.

Some guys get insanely nervous, don’t know what to say, and freak out about every little detail. It’s really not that big of a deal.

Instead of freaking out about daygame, it will suit you better to take a more laid-back approach. Because when you make it less of a deal, it will become one.

It’s key to boil daygame down into these two key principles:

#1 – Understand you won’t be bothering people by talking to them. Everyone wants to meet cool people.

#2 – You’re going to need to bring some value to the women you’re talking to in the form of humor or entertaining stories. If you can’t tell good stories or tell a good joke, practice. It’s not difficult to get a little more expressive with your tone of voice, hand gestures, and face gestures. Give yourself permission to be more expressive.

Daygame Openers

The large majority of men who struggle talking to women always want to know that “one perfect thing to say”.

The truth is, it literally doesn’t matter what you say. It’s how you say it.

I’ve had girlfriends in the past that i’ve opened with sentences like “dolphins aren’t real” or “Starbucks should be a bagel company”. Those make absolutely no sense.

But does it matter?

No.

The reason it doesn’t matter is because the words are only about 10% of the equation.

When it comes to attracting women, what’s even more important is what I call the “life energy” that the guy can be perceived as having. The more masculine “life energy”, the better.

For more info on how to build up your masculine “life energy”, apply to my exclusive email list. I will be going more in-depth on this topic in a later article.

It’s Not About The Daygame Opener. It’s About Trust.

Trust in yourself, that is.

The key to successful daygame is having a deep trust in yourself that whatever you need to say will come to you in the moment, when you need it.

It’s about lowering your expectations and just going into it with a creative, “I don’t really care what happens but we’ll see what happens anyway” mindset.

If you can get yourself to a place where you genuinely don’t care if you succeed or not, and are just going to see how it works out, then you’re on your way to becoming successful.

Here Are Some Daygame Openers Anyway

Being able to talk to women in an unscripted manner is obviously the best way to go about it. But that being said, there are a couple different styles of openers you can use.

The “I’m super pumped and am going to have an amazing night” daygame opener:

This one is effective because not only does it open up a conversation, but it also conveys attractive qualities like being a guy who gets things done, who has friends, and who is a non-threat because he is in a great mood. Opening by just telling someone a story is a great way to start a conversation.

This opener would go something like this:

“Hey my friends and I literally just finished this huge project we’ve been working on for the last couple months, so i’m pumped. And tonight, we’re going to celebrate. Nothing will stop me from having a blast with my friends and family. Where would you go if you were going to have the celebration of your life?”

Then she’ll tell you where, or say I don’t know. Either way, you’ve opened.

The Environment Daygame Opener

This one is pretty straightforward, and one I use very frequently.

For the environment opener you just ask a question about something in the environment (while smiling and having good energy) and then continue the conversation from there.

At a coffee shop it could be as simple as asking her what she’s reading or doing on the computer. At a library it could be asking why one book has a terrible cover yet is being highlighted on a platform in the main spot. The list is endless. The point is to strike up a conversation but asking a simple question around you.

The “Cool x” opener

This one is very simple as well, and can be used on something you can tell the person is trying to make a statement with. Things you comment on could be anything from a crazy bag, scarf, or shirt…

To a unique piercing, tattoo, or hairstyle.

Again, this one is extremely simple, and stresses the reality that what you say doesn’t really matter. What matters is how you say it.

Back in college, there would always be girls reading outside in the grass. When I saw a cute one, I would usually go up and say something like “Hey my friend is running late again so I wanted to tell you that you had a Cool blanket. What are you reading?”.

The “my friend is running late again” comment in this situation is very important because you want her to know that you’re not going to stay forever and ruin her day.

That way, if the conversation is bland, you can always leave and say you’re going to meet your friend. But if the conversation goes well, you can always take her on an insta-date somewhere else and tell her that you’re bailing on your friend because he’s so late and that he would understand.

The “5 Year-Old Test” To Cure Running Out Of Things To Say

Think about if you were talking to a 5 year old.

Would you care what you were saying to the 5 year old? Would you have trouble telling the 5 year old stories or making the 5 year old laugh?

Probably not. Because they are 5, you don’t really care what they think. So you put no pressure on yourself.

In the same way, you need to bring that “i don’t really care” feeling that you have when you’re talking to a 5 year old into your daygame approaches with women. Because it’s that “i don’t really care what happens” mindset that will free you up to be funny and socially aware.

Put less pressure on yourself, be okay with being awkward and mumbling at first, and practice anyway

Daygame Mindset

Mindset is going to be the most important aspect of your daygame success. You could be terrible at everything, but if your mindset is serving you appropriately, you will succeed.

When it comes to having a mindset that will actually work for you in daygame instead of working against you, it is important to look at the two most important parts of your mindset that need to be fixed.

  • Limiting beliefs
  • Poor perspectives that need to be reframed

The reason these things need to be fixed is because you need to take action to get results. And if you aren’t currently taking action, then it is because you are telling yourself things that are stopping you from taking action. And these are the things you need to identify and “fix” by updating your belief system and perspectives.

Daygame Limiting Beliefs

There are a lot of limiting beliefs that guys have when it comes to success in daygame. Some of the most common ones I have seen in my own clients are:

  • They believe they are bothering people by going up to them
  • They believe they need that “perfect situation” for them to talk to a stranger
  • They feel like they need that perfect thing to say to get a girl’s instagram or to go on a date with her that same day

And these go on and on and on forever (literally).

The key to improving your daygame (before you even start) is by setting up counter-arguments to the beliefs that are currently holding you back, and then believing in those new beliefs more than you believe in your old beliefs. Here’s on an example:

Old belief: I am bothering people by going up and talking to them.

Then you ask yourself why. Why is this belief in place?

Well, why do you feel like you will be bothering people?

The short answer is because you don’t think they will value what you have to offer.

Would you feel bothered if Brad Pitt went up and started a conversation with you?

Would you feel bothered if the women of your dreams came up and started a conversation with you?

No, you probably wouldn’t. Because they had something of value to offer you. Make sense?

So the new belief becomes this…

New belief: People will only be bothered by people approaching them If the person approaching brings no value to the table. Because everyone wants to meet more cool people, and less weird people.

Do you see how that worked?

Instead of us continuing our entire lives with the belief with that we will be bothering someone if we go up and talk to them…

We questioned that belief. And learned that “Oh. Everyone DOES want to meet more cool people. So all I have to do is provide some value when I go up and talk to them.

But how do you create value when you talk to a person for the first time?

There are two ways. And one is actually a short cut.

How To Create Instant Value In Daygame Conversation

There are an infinite number of different ways you can create value for the person you are talking to so they will be interested in you. The 3 easiest ones are by being funny, telling engaging stories, and showing a genuine interest in something they are interested in.

If you go up to someone and have them…

  • laughing until they cry about a joke you told them
  • on the edge of their seat listening to an extremely engaging story you’re telling
  • Or going into very in-depth detail about things they love to do and why they love to do them…

You will be successful.

But here’s the crazy part…

You can actually short-cut the whole providing them value thing by just simply implying your value and having a very boring conversation.

Both work. But the latter is for a later article. If you’d like to learn more about how to imply your value, just apply to be on my exclusive email list here.

Daygame conversational control

When you’re doing daygame, you are going to eventually learn how to control the conversation like a master.

Some people might here the term “control the conversation” and think of it as a bad thing. But controlling the conversation is actually the best thing you can do for both yourself and the person you are talking to. Here’s what I mean:

I first learned how to control the conversation at my old sales job, when I was selling insurance to old people.

When I would get these old people on a sales call, my goal was simple: To get them on the best insurance policy for them based on their needs.

And because I knew where I wanted the conversation to go – which was them buying insurance from me – controlling the call became as simple as me making sure we were always heading in the right direction conversationally. I’ll go a little more in depth on this right here – because this is extremely relevant to daygame.

This is what me “controlling the call” looked like:

I knew my goal was to sell them the best insurance policy for them based on their needs. But in order to do that, I first needed to actually know their needs. So I started asking questions to get them talking about how they use their insurance and how their experiences have been so far.

The only problem is, sometimes relevant conversation – like them telling me how they currently used their insurance – quickly turned into irrelevant conversation like how their Grandson Jimmy hates jalapeno-cheddar bagels due to his cheese allergy.

When this would happen, I needed to quickly become aware that what they were telling me about their grandson wouldn’t do anything for us in terms of getting them better insurance. So I would have to move the conversation back onto something that actually “moved things forward” for both of us. I’d have to control the conversation and get it back on track.

I could do this by saying things like “Nancy, wow, that really was a crazy story. Hopefully he avoids those cheesy bagels. But in terms of helping you avoid what you’re allergic to, have you had any bad reactions to the prescriptions you’re currently taking?

Then we were back on track.

This is extremely important in daygame because people you talk to will sometimes turn conversations to boring, dead-end topics without knowing what they are consciously doing – like politics or the weather.

When this happens, it’s extremely important to become situationally aware of what is going on, and gently move the conversation towards something more interesting that will allow you to get either her instagram, or take her on a date that very same day.

Daygame Logistics + Situational Awareness

When I was selling insurance, I needed a client to have a few physical items available to them for me to actually sell them an insurance policy – their debit card and something to write with.

If they didn’t have their debit card or anything to write with, then it didn’t matter how pumped I got them on their new policy or how much they trusted me. Because without those two things, I literally couldn’t close the deal.

In the same way, people you talk to in daygame will have logistical limitations such as a mandatory business meeting in the next 20 minutes, or they may only be visiting and will be leaving the country the following day.

To avoid wasting your time, you will need to actively figure out their current situation as fast as possible.

In order to get the most efficiency out of the time you spend doing daygame, you are going to want to find someone’s logistical situation out as soon as possible. This means learning where they came from, why they are at the place they are at now, and where they will be going in the future.

Knowing these 3 things will allow you to decide whether you want to get her Instagram, take her on an instant-date to some place down the street, or just have a very brief conversation, say your goodbyes, and move on to the next set.

Daygame Outcomes: Instagram or Insta-Date?

There are two main outcomes you can go for when daygaming: contact information or going on a date on the spot (AKA an Insta-date).

If you want to achieve each of these outcomes, you’re going to have to have someone agree to what you want them to do. And the easiest way to do this is by proposing an option to them with the least amount of friction possible. Make it as easy as possible for them to say yes.

This means that instead of asking a girl for her phone number right away, you can ask for her instagram (or facebook if she’s older) and that will give you a much higher chance of success due to it being much lower pressure.

In the same way, if you find out that the girl has nothing going on for the day and ask her to get a smoothie with you 2 blocks away, you will have a much higher chance of succeeding than asking a girl who only has an hour of free time to get a full-blown lunch with you at your favorite restaurant 20 minutes away. Make sense?

These things matter.

And although this sounds like common sense, I want to state it anyway:

If she’s in a rush to get somewhere, has plans soon, or doesn’t seem super interested, ask her for her instagram name and add her. If she’s not doing anything and is showing a lot of interest in you, ask her for the instadate. If she says no, ask for her Instagram as a backup then leave on a high note.

The reason insta-dates are so good is because not only will she likely be happy you are giving her something to do, but there is also the chance for it to lead to something more that very same day. I have had many instances where I have met a girl one place, taken her to another place, and then she has invited me over to her apartment that same day. Once you get your dating skills up, this will become common.

Daygame: Dealing With Friends

A lot of the time a girl you want to talk to will be with her friends. While a lot of guys would see this as a bad thing, this situation can actually help you build attraction much more than if the girl were by herself. IF you do it right.

The friend brings a lot of new variables to the situation, and you need to make sure that at the end of the interaction you have the friend saying “You should go out with him!” instead of saying something like “I don’t know I don’t like him”. There are a few principles that will help you do that.

#1 – Be just as interested in the friend than you are the girl you want to talk to.

Some guys will completely ignore the friend. And this is bad daygame.

There are 100 reasons why it’s bad to ignore the friend but the simple reason is because if you ignore the friend, she won’t be on your side. And if she’s not on your side, she will give her friend 1000 excuses as to why she shouldn’t be talking to you, and why they need to hurry up and keep walking where they were walking.

If you are genuinely as curious about the friend as you are in the girl you want to talk to, you will be successful.

Using The Friend To Build Attraction

One daygame technique that I have found to work pretty well is if you actually show more interest (at first) in the friend than in the girl you actually want to exchange contact information with. A lot of the times the friend won’t be as attractive as the girl you want to talk to, so by giving her 90% of the attention, you are going to make the other girl wonder why her friend is getting all of the attention, and she’s not.

But whether you talk more to the friend or the girl herself, the point is that you want to win the friend over. And get her to be vouching for you by the end of the set (or at least don’t upset her).

Daygame: dealing with groups

Larger groups are usually more common in bars / clubs than when when out and about during the day. But even so, you’ll run into them every once and awhile.

The only way to find success when it comes to approaching large groups is to just assume you are already part of the group and engage with everyone.

Logistics is especially important with this type of approach because you will want to know how everyone knows each other, where they came from, and what they are doing later. All of this information will be helpful if you are going to attract one specific girl in either a large group of girls or a large group with a mix of guys / girls. I will be posting a longer article on this specific topic later on.

If you need any more questions answered, or need help on any other aspect of your dating life, feel free to either visit stepbystepdating.com or apply to my exclusive email list.

Categories
Attraction Dating Status

How To Get A Girlfriend In College (Completely Step-By-Step)

How to get a girlfriend in college, step by step.

College is a great time for us as guys to start building up our dating skills.

There’s just something about the massive amount of free time, overbearing loneliness, and huge sea of fish to choose from that makes college a great time to master your dating & attraction skills before you enter the “real world”.

But with that being said, a lot of guys i’ve coached have carried with them the belief that college is only for hookup culture. And this just isn’t true.

While it is true that there IS a large hookup culture on campuses, there is also a huge relationship culture as well. And believing that you will actually be able to get a girlfriend is the first step to actually getting one. Stop holding yourself back with limiting excuses.

There are literally (most of the time) tens of thousands of people around you, and the chance that someone attractive is either at your school or somewhere around it who also wants a relationship is very high.

And even if you’re in a little tiny itty-bitty college, there are still going to be hundreds of options to choose from. Point being, if you’re making the size of your school an excuse, stop. You are only arguing against your own success.

The 3 Main Reasons Why Guys Can’t Get A Girlfriend In College

There are three reasons why guys can’t get a girlfriend in college:

Their ability to meet more people sucks, their attraction skills suck, or their ability to move things forward with women sucks.

Being attractive to women, learning how to meet more people, and learning how to move things forward with women are skills that you can learn and get better at over time.

And just like how if you’ve never lifted weights you won’t have large muscles, if you’ve never practiced getting a girlfriend, you’re probably going to be bad at it. And that’s completely okay.

Why?

Because everyone sucks when they start. I did as well. But by just going for it, you will learn from your mistakes and eventually land a girlfriend you really like.

And I’ll give you that blueprint right now, step by step.

P.S. If you’re interested in personal 1-on-1 coaching or world-class dating help, feel free to visit either stepbystepdating.com or apply to my exclusive email list.

Let’s get into it.

Step #1: Figure Out What Type Of Girl You Want As Your Girlfriend

The first step is to figure out what type of girlfriend you think you want as your girlfriend.

Do you want a girl that loves to party and drink? Do you want a girl who’s a book nerd? Do you want a girl who’s always working out? Do you want a girl who’s into business?

Choosing what type of girlfriend you want will be the first step in being able to find her.

Why?

Because once you know what type of girlfriend you want, you will be able to actually find her by asking yourself questions like “where do I think this type of girl will be during the daytime?” “What does she do / wear on a Friday night?” “What does she do on her weekends?” Etc.

The answers to these questions obviously don’t have to be “perfect” or even “correct”… it is simply to help you get an idea of where she might be so you actually have a chance of locating her and engaging in a conversation with her.

Once you know who you want as a girlfriend – which could simply be someone of a certain attractiveness level – you are ready for the next step.

Step #2: Spend 2-5 Minutes A Day Visualizing You Meeting & Dating Her (EXTREMELY IMPORTANT)

Once you think you have an idea of the type of girl you want, you are ready to move onto this next step and actually find her.

But before I show you how to find her, I first want to give you another quick step that will make you 500% more successful if actually applied.

And stay with me here for a second, because this step might be a little weird to you at first.

You’re going to want to visualize yourself with your next girlfriend.

This means, as weird as it sounds, that you’re going to take 2-5 minutes every day (it doesn’t take long at all) and really imagine how it will feel when you go up and talk to her, she likes you a lot, and then you guys begin dating soon after. Really get into it.

“But Grant, why am I supposed to do this weird foo-foo stuff? You said no foo-foo stuff?”

The reason you are going to do this is to put your subconscious mind to work for you.

Our subconscious mind controls more than we can ever imagine. And by visualizing yourself with your next girlfriend, you are going to begin the process of being the type of guy that can actually attract her.

Remember: DO NOT skip the visualization step. It is massively important.

And once you build visualization into your daily routine at least once a day, you are ready for step #2.

Step #3: Learn How To Meet More People In College (And Get A Girlfriend Out Of It)

You have two options for meeting and talking to your next girlfriend:

Cold approach or social circle.

Cold approach is when you start up conversations with girls you don’t know in any type of environment (class, the gym, the library, the grocery store, etc). And social circle is when you meet a girl through some type of social network like your friend group, a club, rec activity, job, etc.

If you really want a girlfriend, you will need to put some effort into getting good at one or the other (but preferably both).

Remember: these are both skills you will need to learn at some point in your life, and nobody is born knowing how to do it. Once you learn these two skills you will have them for the rest of your life, and will never be worrying about getting a girlfriend ever again.

I’ll break each one down.

Why Cold Approach is So Powerful (And How To Get Really Good At It)

Cold approach is so powerful because when you develop the skill of cold approach, you will be able to talk to cute girls anywhere, anytime.

This allows you to meet girls any any type of environment and take advantage of the serendipity that is involved in you two being at the same place at the same time. (GIRLS LOVE SERENDIPITOUS STORIES).

When you’re doing cold approach, it is important to keep these few things in mind:

  • You will not be bothering people by going up to them and talking to them, because everybody wants to meet more cool people
  • If someone is a little cold to you, don’t worry about it because that is not someone you would want as your girlfriend anyway. Would you really want a girlfriend that was mean to strangers? Hell no.
  • 50% of the girls you talk to will already have boyfriends. That’s okay. Just keep approaching enough girls until you can collect 10-15 instagrams.
  • Always ask for their instagram or snapchat and never their phone number. This will improve your success rate tremendously.
  • That being said, girls are going to judge your instagram. It will be a make-or-break for them. Put some effort into getting some high-quality pictures on your instagram and even buy a couple thousand followers if you need to.
  • Getting a girlfriend is a numbers game. If your cold approach is not working, just keep going while being okay with “being uncomfortable”. And force yourself to do more cold approach. There is not a single guy out there who has done 100 cold approaches and doesn’t have a girlfriend. Keep going.
  • Always keep in mind that you’re one spec of dust among 7 billion floating on a planet in a solar system of billions of other planets. You going up and awkwardly talking to a girl IS NOT A BIG DEAL. Just do it, bro.

Here’s An Easy Cold Approach Script You Can Use To Get A Girlfriend In College

Cold approach is much easier at first if you have a script you can fall back on.

Do you eventually want to get to the point where you can relax during the conversation and just use your natural intuition to keep the conversation going? Yes.

but I do understand it can be difficult at first, so here is a basic script you can use. If you want this as a PDF, or want any other scripts for thousands of other dating and texting situations, apply to my exclusive email list and I’ll drop fuego in your inbox for the rest of your dating career.

The Easy Cold Approach Script

Imagine you see a girl you think is cute while you’re out and about.

You’re going to first ask her about something around you, then if you’ve seen her at your *cool thing you’re already doing*, and when she says no, say “weird, you have a doppelganger out there. Well, thanks for the help. What’s your insta?” And then pull out your phone, get her insta, and then say “cool, bye (place where you met her) buddy”.

Here’s how it will usually go. Let’s say you see a girl walking to glass and you like to play music. You can also always go one step further and have the “maps” app pulled out on your phone as well, lol.

*You see a girl walking to class and you go up to her*

You: Hey excuse me, I’m trying to find the stoneridge building. Do you have any idea where it’s at?

Girl: Yes I do! It’s right around the corner near the gym.

or

Girl: Uhh no I have no idea. I’m a first year. Sorry!

This is when you ask her if you’ve seen her somewhere and tell her a quick story about how you do cool things (or just make one up about you doing cool things). The point is to convey that you’re a guy who is already regularly doing stuff with his friends.

You (if she says yes): Cool, thanks. This is random but do you have class in the music hall on Tuesdays? Our band finishes up around 2 and I swear i’ve seen you walk by us as we’re on our way to get some smoothies.

or

You (if she says no): No worries. This is random but do you have class in the music hall on Tuesdays? Our band finishes up around 2 and I swear i’ve seen you walk by as we’re on our way to get some smoothies.

Her: Uhh probably not, I never go over there.

You: Oh, weird. You have a doppelganger out there. Anyway what’s your insta? I’m trying to gain followers so I can look cool for my parents.

Her: For you parents? haha what! It’s yourfuturegirlfriend69.

You: Haha it’s a long story. But cool, I’ll add you. Cya insta buddy!

Easy.

Make sure you practice the script before you try it. And then make sure practice cold approach without a script.

How To Meet Your Next Girlfriend In College Through Social Circle (And How To Build One)

The second way you will be able to meet your future girlfriend is through your social circle.

One thing to keep in mind is that nobody is born with a social circle. Social circles are built.

This means that if you want friends – and a girlfriend – you need to go out and make things happen. Nobody is going to make friends or get a girlfriend for you.

There are a few different ways you can build your social circle. The ones that worked the best for me in college were:

  • By joining a group, club, recreational team on campus, etc.
  • By getting a job at a popular coffee shop / club / library
  • By finding a “hub” person (someone who has a ton of friends and invites people out to stuff often) and then making friends with them and leaching off of their social circle
  • Cold approaching a bunch of girls and guys and then inviting them to do things with you in group settings or individually

The reason using a social circle (or making your own) to meet your next girlfriend is a good idea is because not only will you dramatically improve your own social life and get better at moving things forward with people – but you will also have fun things to do with people who share your interests. Which, therefore, will eventually lead you to getting a girlfriend once you know how to move things forward romantically with women (which is the next step).

The most important things to keep in mind when it comes to growing your social circle are these:

#1 – Constantly invite individual people to things you are already doing (like going to the gym, eating, going for drinks, etc) to build deeper connections with them. You are going to have to actually form connections and hang out with the people you are meeting.

#2 – Do not judge who you bring in to your social circle (at first). This is massively important. You can not build a “perfect” social circle from the ground up the first time. Understand this. You need to first build a less-than-perfect social circle (full of people you may not want necessarily want as long-term friends) and then once you get to that point you will be able substitute them out for higher-quality people. But when you are beginning, find someone sort of cool without judging them too hard, invite them to something, and build connections.

Once you have a social circle, people will regularly come in and out of it. One of these people will be your next girlfriend (once you learn how to move things forward romantically).

Step #4: Learn How To Move Things Forward Romantically With Women

Once you know how to meet people, you will need to know how to move things forward romantically with women.

Again, this is a skill that needs to be learned. And if you’ve never done it, you will not be good at it at first. And that’s okay. Just do it, no matter how awkward, and then do it again a little bit better.

What Does Moving It Forward Mean?

Moving forward with women means going to the next step.

Examples of this are going from strangers to people who text, from people who text to people who hang out, from people who hang out to people that kiss, from people that kiss to people that have sex, and from people that have sex to people who are in an official relationship. Each one of these transitions is an example you moving it forward romantically with a woman.

You can think of each “stage” with a women as a rung on a ladder. And at the top of the ladder is you being in a relationship with her (aka her being your girlfriend).

In order to get to the top of the ladder – and have her become your girlfriend – you are going to have to climb the steps. And each time you climb a step, you are going to get one step closer to where you want to be.

I would recommend practicing this process as much as possible so you can get really good at it really quickly. This will allow you to get over the awkward stage fast and get a girlfriend even faster.

There are two principles you are going to need to keep in mind when you are learning to move things forward with women and climb this ladder.

#1 – It is going to be awkward at first. Again, that’s okay. Do it anyway and you will get smoother over time.

#2 – You will be making the first move 99% of the time. Don’t assume the girl will ever make the first move.

With these two principles in mind, you will be able to climb the ladder and eventually make her your girlfriend.

How The Ladder Plays Out In Real Life

These are the steps of the ladder that I went through to get a girlfriend in college.

Step 1 – Meet girl

Step 2 – text girl

step 3 – invite girl to drinks or to come over

step 4 – kiss girl when she’s over the first time we hang out (or have sex if she is down)

step 5 – keep having sex

step 6 – If we are compatible, ask her to be my girlfriend

It’s really that simple.

Biggest Questions Guys Have When First Learning To Move Things Forward

How Do I Know When To Kiss Her On A Date Somewhere?

There is no “perfect time” to kiss her. At first you will have to just judge how interested she in in you, and when you feel like she is into you, make the first move while being semi-uncertain how it will go. Once you do it more and more, you will get better at it. Becoming good at kissing is massively important when it comes to dating.

If you guys are having a really really good first date, you can just look at her, smile, and then lean in and start kissing her while on the date. I would recommend doing this if you can. She will be down if you guys are having a blast. I personally don’t like saving the first kiss for the “goodbye” portion of the date, as it is much more comfortable if you two can begin making out while you’re actually on the date.

How Do I Know When To Kiss Her When She’s At My House?
If she ends up at your house, she is obviously interested in you. Which is good. If you guys are having a lot of fun, make the first move and kiss her. If she has any issue with it (99% of the time she won’t unless you’re a really bad kisser) then just say something like “Jokes on you, I didn’t want to kiss anyway” and continue having a lot of fun with her while acting like nothing is wrong. Remember that it’s really not that big of a deal.

How Do I Move Things Forward Towards Sex?

The first obvious step is to get the kiss. If you are kissing her, and she likes it, then there is a good chance she will be willing to have sex with you if the chemistry is there and she’s in a place in her life where she’s ready. (If she’s at your house kissing you she probably is).

The easiest way to initiate sex is by simply rubbing her legs a little bit while you’re making out with her then working your way up to her HOOHAW. Once hand meets HOOHAW, rub.

The reason this is the best way to initiate sex is because if she doesn’t want to have sex or is not ready, she will simply grab your hand and move it away from her HOOHAW if she doesn’t want to. If she moves your hand, she is simply not ready to have sex with you, which is perfectly okay. Some girls won’t be. If this happens, just keep making out with her like nothing happened, have a really good night with her, and then see her again and repeat the process some other time. No big deal.

When Do I Make Her My Girlfriend? And How Do I Do It?

Well, we basically made it to the last step. Actually making her your girlfriend. But when should you do it? And how?

The short answer is “when it feels right for you”.

Usually the “should we go exclusive and enter into a relationship” conversation comes up 2 weeks to 3 months after two people that are both looking for a relationship start having sex regularly.

The truth is that some girls won’t be looking for a relationship in college. And will only want a “friends with benefits” type situation. If you come across a girl like this, do not try to convince her to be your girlfriend. Accept where she is at in her life and understand you can not make her wanting something she doesn’t. If this is the case, you will need to find another girl who is ready.

But, if she is open to having a boyfriend – and you guys have been smashing for a while – then you can start “testing the waters” by doing things like calling her babe or calling her “my girlfriend” and seeing how she reacts. If she reacts positively, you can say something like “I think you are super cool and want to date you exclusively. We should be boyfriend and girlfriend” and she will be like OMGGG YAAASSSS!!!

And then you will know how to get a girlfriend in college. And will be happily in love forever.

The end.

P.S. If you’re interested in personal 1-on-1 coaching or world-class dating help, feel free to visit either stepbystepdating.com or apply to my exclusive email list.