For some people, dating after college can become a serious drop-off compared to what they were doing during their 4-year party.
But for other people, dating after college can become the best dating scenario they’ve ever experienced in their lives.
So what separates these two groups of people?
One group has mastered the “dating after college” skills while the other hasn’t.
And I’m going to show you these skills – and teach how to build them up – right now. Step by Step.
Dating After College Is A Skillset That Needs To Be Learned
You can’t just fall into dating after college. You need to actively grab the reigns on your dating life and commit to making it the best it’s ever been.
The truth is, dating after college can be WAY better than dating in college ever was. I know that for me personally, my dating life didn’t transcend to it’s final form until I graduated, moved on, and really learned the skills necessary to put myself in the best position for success.
Because that’s exactly what it is. A skillset.
You can learn to get better at dating. And doing so will make your post-college life 1000% better.
The 3 Skills You Need To Be Successful For Dating After College
To have an abundant dating life after college, you need to master these 3 skills:
- Finding people that you want to date (locating them)
- Attracting those people to you (both in person and online)
- Landing dates and moving things forward (closing)
These 3 skills are literally all you need to take your dating life after college to a place you’ve never even imagined. And although they are extremely simple in theory, they do require some EFFORT. Which i want to touch on right now.
The #1 Reason People Have Trouble Dating After College – Effort.
Effort is by far the biggest reason that people have trouble dating after college.
The large majority of people don’t put in the effort required to learn dating skills.
They don’t put in the effort required to go out and meet people.
They don’t put in the effort required to create a good looking online profile by having someone take high-quality pictures of themselves…
People just don’t put in the effort.
So if you want to separate from the crowd and be a success story, you’re going to first have to understand that while it does take some effort, it really doesn’t take that much. And taking that extra step will be a huge factor in your success.
Now let’s get into each one of these 3 skills, one by one.
Dating After College Skill #1: Finding People You Want To Date
Most people who have trouble dating after college don’t have trouble finding people to date. They have trouble finding the right people to date. And there’s a lot of factors that go into the skill of finding the right people to date.
Step #1 is to ask yourself the question of “who is the type of person I want to date?” and then once you have that answer, you can then ask yourself “where would this person hang out? What would they be doing at this time on the weekend? Who’s the type of person they would be attracted to?”
And then once you have the answer to those questions…
You can begin figuring out where they’ll be and what they are are attracted to. And once you know THAT, you just show up where they are as the type of person they’d be attracted to. It’s really that simple.
Meeting People Online Vs In Person
This is a debate that I think is very silly.
The truth is, online dating works. Even if it may not currently be working for you.
Some people who get into dating after college completely demonize online dating, which makes absolutely no sense to me. They are actively shutting out millions of people who they would not normally meet in their day-to-day life. And then complain about not finding anyone.
Both online and in-person work for meeting people. But again, both require effort and reflection. If you’re not meeting the type of person that you want to meet, it’s time to take an honest look at how you present yourself (and your online profile) and ask yourself “what type of person would be attracted to the person that I am projecting to the world?”
And chances are… it’s a lot of the type of people you’re currently dating.
Make Your Profile Better And Get Better Style
If you’re serious about taking your dating life after college to a new level, you’re going to want to have a killer dating profile and something presentable to show them when you meet them in person (aka your personal style).
both of these things do not cost a lot of money.
You can put an ad on craigslist to have an aspiring photographer take high-quality pictures of you for their portfolio. You can have your friend with the newest iphone take a portrait picture of you while you’re doing something cool. It literally doesn’t matter what you do, just make sure you have high-quality pictures and a funny, well-thought out bio. Put some effort into your dating life and watch the results come around.
In the same way, increasing your style isn’t expensive either. This is especially important for guys.
Going to H&M and buying a well-fitting shirt, some nice pants, and a pair of nice shoes will cost you under $100. Get one solid outfit and wear that on your first dates. Just be presentable to the person you are talking to. The goal is to be the person that the person you are dating will want to tell their friends about by saying “omg I’m dating this person and they are so cool”. Image is a factor in getting them to say that.
Dating After College Skill #2: Attracting The People You Want To Date
Now that you have an idea of where the person you want to date usually goes, it’s time to ask yourself that second question of “who is the person I want to date usually attracted to?”. And then become that person.
What I see all too often is girls who post photos of themselves smothered in makeup and wearing skimpy clothes, and then complaining about how they can never find guys who want to commit.
Are you kidding me?
Take a look at your profile bbgirl.
You are using sexuality as your attraction mechanism and then complain about you are attracting guys that only care about easy wins. This is when self-reflection is more important than ever.
In the same way, if you’re a guy who wants to date a really attractive women, but won’t even put the effort into getting one nice outfit that you can wear out in public, you are doing the same thing to yourself.
You are projecting to the world something that is attracting (or repelling) a specific type of person, and then complaining about it. Which is the opposite of you need to do.
Instead, you want to think about who the person you want to date would normally be attracted to, and then do everything in your power to make yourself (or at least seem like) that person. And that will help you tremendously.
Building Up Your Attraction Skills (For Men)
If you want to build up your attraction skills, you are going to want to learn how to project high-status behaviors. This is especially important for men.
The reason this is so important is because women will still find you attractive if you have high status behaviors but aren’t the most physically attractive guy. This means that women aren’t so much attracted to what you look like, they are attracted to who you are as a person.
This is an amazing thing because this means that if you aren’t the tallest, smartest, or best looking guy around, you can still have an amazing dating life by mastering high status behaviors and eventually becoming a core-deep high status person. In fact, some of the dude who come to mind when I think of the word “player” are some friends that I have who are only 5’3 and 5’4. These dudes PULL. And here’s why.
High status behaviors for men include:
- Masculine life energy
- Belief in themselves and their own opinions
- High self-image
- The conviction in their voice
- Ability to lead others
And so much more.
What all of these things have in common is that they are skills that can be learned. And while I will not be touching on how to increase each of these individual skills right now, I cover all of them in-depth on my exclusive email list.
Dating After College Skill #3: Landing Dates And Moving Things Forward
Once you’ve located the people you want to date and can attract them, the next step is to actually go on dates and move things forward with the people that you want to establish romantic relationships with.
You can do this by developing the attractive qualities above and combine then with the closing skills necessary to capitalize on opportunities and take actual steps toward getting the result you want in your own dating life.
Landing A Date From A Dating App
I have a complete post on landing a date from a dating app that you can view here. I also have a complete step-by-step guide on what to do after you match with someone here. But I’ll cover some of the highlights here.
#1 – Have an opener that shows some effort. The opener doesn’t have to be the craziest, most original thing in the world, but it should go above and beyond the usual “hey” or the usual “what 3 things would you take on an island with you?” that people normally do.
#2 – Be able to keep a conversation interesting. I show you exactly how to do this in the link in the intro of this section of the article. Being able to keep a conversation interesting is extremely important in being able to land date after date after date. I mean think about it…
Why date someone boring when you could date someone who is fun, interesting, and engaging. It’s an easy choice.
#3 – Move the conversation off of the dating app when you have enough leverage to do so. This is important as well. You want to move the dating app to another communication medium (like texting or snapchat) as soon as you have enough leverage to do so. Meaning, as soon as she likes you enough to agree to it, and won’t reject your advances.
#4 – Propose a date when you have enough leverage, and then stop texting her until you need to confirm logistics. This means that once you feel like she likes you enough to go on a date with you, you’re going to propose a date to her, and once she agrees, give her a couple different time choices to meet up with you. Then once she agrees, you’re going to want to wrap up the conversation and stop texting her until your date. This will keep the status you’ve built in place and will give you the opportunity to capitalize on what you’ve already done during the date. Too many guys mess things up by saying too much or dragging things out over text.
Landing A Date In-Person
Getting a date in person is the same process as getting a date from an online dating app. The only difference is that you will obviously be doing it in person.
Learning to land dates in person will help you create a dating life after college that most people can only dream about. The reason is simply because that most people will not have the courage to go out, work on their social skills, and take their dating life destiny into their own hands.
Go Indirect. Give Her An Excuse To See / Talk To You Again
It has been my experience that going “indirect” with my initial advances has had highest success rate when it’s came to dating women that i’ve wanted to date.
This means that when you’re outside of a bar / club, proposing reasons to do something that involve a similar interest will have a much higher rate of success than simply saying to a girl “I’m talking to you to see if I like you and if we should go on a date”. Although that does work as well.
An example of this would be me meeting a girl at some type of business networking event. Instead of saying “you’re hot we should date”, I will find something that her and I share interests in, and will give her a reason to contact me and discuss said things. From that point, we can genuinely discuss what we are interested in and will have the opportunity to see if we like each other in the future.
Doing this allows us to become “friends” first (while also still maintaining attraction to each other) and gives me a better shot at closing her on a date when she already knows who I am and what i’m into.
“Friends” Is Not The Same As “Friendzone”.
Wanted to hit on this real quick. Becoming friends with a girl (at first) is not the same as being in the friendzone. Although they can both be happening at the same time.
The friendzone is when a guy has no chance of dating a girl because he is too much of a simp. She sees his simpness and does not want to make babies with him for fear of making more little simpbabies. This is different than treating a girl like a friend in the early stages of attraction.
Treating a girl like a friend means treating her like one of your buddies. This means that you are treating her in a way that is fun, friendly, welcoming, and honest. Meaning you are saying what you would normally say, and doing things that you would normally do. AKA not putting her on a pedestal.
I can’t explain to you how many times I have began treating a girl only as my friend, and then have had her chasing me weeks later. The fun, welcoming, and non-needy vibe that comes with treating her a friend is one of the most powerful techniques I have ever come across when it’s come to landing dates with women I want to date.
A Few Additional Tips On Closing
Closing is simply asking the question that leads something in the direction you want it to go.
Meaning, if you want to go on a date with a girl, closing would be asking her a question like “I’m free on Friday to get some drinks. Do you want to grab a couple?” and putting yourself in a position to get a yes or a no.
Too many guys are afraid to close because there is always the risk of getting rejected. The truth is, you’re going to get rejected at some point in your life. The key isn’t to avoid getting rejected, the key is learning the skills necessary so you get rejected as minimally as possible, and when you do get rejected, learning to move on with your life and learn from the experience if you can.
Using “Heat Checks” To Close Before You Close
One of the most powerful ways to close anything in life (meaning sales, women, friends, jobs) is to first “heat check” the situation to see exactly where you both stand.
One great way to do this for guys is by creating “fake joke worlds” with women. I go into this a lot more in-depth on the post I have linked above (or here), but it is essentially setting up a hypothetical situation for you two and seeing how she reacts to it. Her reaction will let you know if she is willing to move forward with you right now or if you still have work to do.
Here is an example of heat checking by creating a “fake joke world” with a women:
You: I only drink black coffee because It makes me look really cool and also gives me the power to kill bears with my bare hands.
Her: haha omg! You’re like 85 years old! I need mine to be half creamer, extra sweet, with everything else on it!
You: Wow. Good to know that you’ll be drinking pure sugar on our first coffee date. I’ll bring an extra bag of organic white granulated so I can sprinkle it on your hair while we talk about any daddy issues that are worth noting.
Her: HAHA WHAT?! Now i’m going to drink only black coffee on our first coffee date just to show you who’s boss. And who doesn’t have daddy issues ;).
So what I just depicted above was me creating a “fake joke world” of us getting coffee together, and she accepted it by saying she’d actually drink black coffee to prove me wrong. If she texted back something that completely shut down my entire fake joke world, then I would simply laugh it off and continue the conversation. But because she agreed to it, I now know that if I were to propose an actual coffee date, she’d say yes.
If you want to learn more, I have a free training going that will help you increase your dating success. Check it out.