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How To Play Hard To Get Over Text | 7 Tactics That Scream “High Status”

How to play hard to get over text | 7 Tactics That Scream “High Status”

Playing “hard to get” over text is something that everyone should at least understand. They can choose to use these principles if they’d like to not.

For too many men, women actively use these principles on them (because it is just part of the game that we call dating) and these men have no idea that they are being actively gamed. This, in turn, sets up a an intelligent “trap” that a lot of them fall into – revealing that they are actually, in fact, low status.

Learn The Signs Of A High Status Man

On your path to becoming a high status man, you can learn the signs of what a high status man looks like. And start incorporating them into your way of being before you actually get there.

Let me say this right now: Nothing can replace the dating success that being a high status man will provide to you. But, you can (and should) actively work on getting better at dating by incorporating high status principles into the way you communicate.

General Principle: Who You Are Comes Through Over Text

The general texting principle is that who you are will come out through text. This means that in the same way someone meets you in person and can get a feel for who you are in real life, they will also be doing this to you over text.

Put simply, you can’t fake being high-satus. You can only work on yourself, and get there over time.

But with that being said, you can actively “game” girls to perceive you as higher status than you actually are. And that perception of you – and the feedback you get from it – will help you solidify your identity as someone who has an abundance of options (and is therefore higher status).

#1: Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

The biggest key to texting like a high status man is never taking yourself too seriously. When you are texting with a women, there will be normal gaps in message times that may last hours, or even days. When these happen, the worst possible thing you can do is take it personally, get offended, and make some snarky, clearly-taking-yourself-too-seriously type comment.

#2: Use Texting Mainly For Witty Banter & Logistics

This is the definition of what I call “fake joke worlds”. I go deeper into how to create fake joke worlds in my “how to keep a conversation going” article. Notice how we are bantering back and forth and then I start figuring out logistics for the next day. Most of your exchanges (as in a “block” or “bunch” of your texts) should be about 75% witty banter and 25% planning something with the girl. When plans are made, you say “Cool. see you then :)” then stop texting her – until you send the confirmation text before the date.

Most of your texting should be witty banter & logistics. This means you want the majority of your texting to be about finding free times to hang out, scheduling dates, confirming dates, and so on. Guys who text a girl all day long are putting themselves at risk for being viewed as either boring or too available. You need to be able to create a feeling of scarcity / mystery / unpredictability in the person you are texting.

#3: Vary Your Response Times

Question mark from question words. Search answers. Vector illustration.

The general rule is that you want to be the one who is taking longer to respond. This means that if she texts you back in 5 minutes, take 9 or 10. If she takes 30, take an hour. Etc. Being the one that takes longer to text back (on average) will keep you in a high status position.

But along with this general rule, you’re also going to want to pepper in quick texts to keep her on her toes.

This means that every once in a while, you are going to want to reply very quickly, and even have a short quick-text conversation with her for about 5-10 messages. Once the quick conversation is almost over, shift again to a longer response time.

#4: Use GIFS & Memes to be wickedly Funny

With so many gifs & memes, you can literally make a funny joke about anything (like walking somewhere). I have a good section of an article on using gifs & memes in this article here.

One of the biggest turn-ons for girls is a guy who can out-banter them, and make them laugh in a variety of ways. If you’re currently not someone who thinks you’re very funny, you’re going to want to practice being more relaxed and taking more social risks.

I often think to myself “what is the most outlandish possible thing I could say at this moment” and then say it without fear of what the other person thinks. This is a good start to learning humor, as the better you get at improv, the funnier you will become.

#5: Try And Use statements, Not Questions (unless they’re logistical, you’re just getting to know her, or it’s right after a mini-ghost).

I just realized I use the Grant Jr thing a lot…

A high-status man will normally text in statements, not questions. Unless, that is, he’s warming a mini-ghost back up, getting to know the girl for the first time, or figuring out logistics, such as “what time works for you on Saturday?”. Obviously there will be exceptions to this rule, but saying “let’s go to the beach this weekend” will hold your personal power much better than asking the girl “Hey, would you want to go to the beach this weekend?”.

One of the most powerful dating skills you can cultivate is learning to get responses from girls without asking questions. This skill is based upon making friendly assumptions about the girl instead of asking, and will work even better if you throw in a joke as well (aka a super-assumption).

This will allow you to keep the ball in your court, and still have a great communication with the girl. She will appreciate the conversation as well because it is (usually) much more fun than being interrogated.

Here are some examples:

1 – Question: What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Statement: You seem like a girl who loves rocky road ice cream.

2 – Question: Can you hang out this weekend?

Statement: My friend’s bailed on our Brunch Saturday. Looks like i’m going to be forced to brunch you down then sleep on your couch :\.

3 – Question: Do you want to hang out today?

Statement: I was supposed to help lather my grandmother in her peppermint ointment but she cancelled on me. Come drink wine & cry with me

You get the point.

#6: Mini-Ghost Often (And Then Respond In An Upbeat Way).

I was busy, so the mini-ghost ended up being 3 days. Try for just 1 day at first. Few things to notice here. #1 – how she was the one that texted me. The mini-ghost works. Also notice how I am asking “unnecessary” questions – like how her shift was – because I am trying to actively build up a little more comfort with her post mini-ghost. This shows that there is no hard feelings between us and that I want to talk to her. These types of situations are where the girl will usually ask you what you are doing that night or later in the week.

This may be the most powerful high-status indicator on the list.

Once you have built up a rotation of women and have a limited amount of time to spend with new ones, you will do this naturally without thinking about it. But until that point comes, you’re going to have to manufacture it.

The Mini-Ghost is when during a normal conversation, you just stop responding to her for the day. You then respond the next day during the afternoon, continuing the conversation as if nothing happened (while always remaining positive). This means that when you respond the next day, you want to keep the respond on the positive side. Works especially well if you can work a joke in to the response too (***but never make mention of your response time or apologize for it***).

Also never do a mini-ghost and have the next text you send to her remotely negative, or it will backfire. Remember: always neutral or positive.

Warning: For every action is an equal and opposite reaction. When you do the mini-ghost, you’re going to get a reaction out of the girl, no matter what. But sometimes, the reaction you will get from the girl will be a mini-ghost of her own. If this happens to you, do not freak out – as it is completely normal response. Instead of worrying if you’ll never talk to her again or sending her a salty (OR DOUBLE) text, simply wait for her to respond, and then respond an hour(ish) after she does like nothing happened. The conversation will then pick back up, and status has been created.

#7: Always Confirm Logistics If You’ve Scheduled A Date

This one is common sense, but a lot of guys are (for some reason) scared to do it for fear of low status. These guys are simply confused. When you schedule a date with a girl (let’s say for 7 pm), you are going to want to send a confirmation text like “see you @ 7?” about 3-4 hours before the actual date. As a high-status man – or a man who’s on his way to becoming one – your time is immensely valuable. And you can’t waste it getting ready, driving to, and showing up for a date that the girl isn’t going to be at. You need to know she’s going so your time is not wasted. Let me repeat, there is nothing low status about sending a confirmation text if you keep it simple and say something lime “still on for x?”. It is what sane people who care about logistics do.

BONUS #8: Text Her The Day After You Get Her Number, Later In The Day

Got her number the day before. Making normal conversation.

When you get a girl’s number, you’re going to want to text her “yo it’s (name)” soon after you get her number. This is common sense. But the next text you’ll want to send her will be some time late in the next day, unless you think you have a high chance of meeting up with her that night (obviously). If you can see her that night, text her and go for it. But if it wasn’t too sexual / playful of a conversation, then you’re going to want to wait until the afternoon of the following day to follow up your “yo it’s (name) text” or her “Hi!” text in response to yours. Whether she responds or not, if you’re not 70% sure you can see her that night, then do yourself a favor and wait till the next day.

If you need any more help, send me an email grant@stepbystepdating.com or check out this free training.

-Grant

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