Ghosted after the first date?
But the good news is, getting ghosted after the first date can be a great time to really learn about how you’re being perceived and make any necessary adjustments needed to really explode your dating life.
In this article, I’ll cover the 7 most common reasons why someone might get ghosted after the first date and what you can do about it to ensure that it never happens again.
Ghosted After First Date Reason #1: You’re Not Interesting Enough
This can be the most painful realization but also the most helpful. A large majority of the time, if you’re getting ghosted after the first date, it may simply be because you are not interesting enough. If this is the case, then it would serve you well to build up your charisma and social skills to the point to where you can keep someone’s interest by telling them stories about virtually anything. I have an entire video on how to to be more interesting and never run out of things to say here.
If you’ve been ghosted due to a lack of being interesting, one of the best techniques you can learn to do is to become less logical. This means that instead of asking the girl normal things like “where do you work” and “what is your favorite food”, ask her unordinary questions about random topics that keep her interested and engaged. It should become normal to you to talk about 50-100 topics in the span of a first date.
GGATFD Reason #2: The Date Went P-P-Poorly
Another common reason why someone may get ghosted after the first date is because the date went poorly. It has been my experience that when the date goes poorly, you will usually feel it in your soul. Signs of a bad date involve her constantly checking her phone instead of talking to you, seeming uninterested, and going to the bathroom frequently (unless you’re having drinks), and leaving the date with a general feeling of “I didn’t like that”. Avoid that at all costs.
If you start noticing signs that the date is going poorly, either change venue locations or consciously steer the conversation onto more interesting, emotionally-fueled topics.
GGATFD Reason #3: She Has Chads For Days
If you’re a guy who’s been ghosted after the first date, chances are that the girl you’re talking to has better options to choose from. Girls will often go on a first date with a guy to “test him out”, and if he doesn’t pass, they will either ghost him after the first date or send him a “I just didn’t feel a connection” text.
If you’re continually being ghosted after the first date, you may need to work on skills like speaking your mind and disagreeing with her opinions. If she says something you do not agree with, you need to let her know that you respect her opinion but you also disagree. Doing this in a playful way will make the interaction more interesting and peg you as a guy who isn’t afraid to say what he thinks, which is very attractive for women.
GGATFD #4: You’re Awkward AND You Come Off As Sensitive (The Deadly Duo)
A lot of women will feel like they are obligated to ghost an awkward guy if he also comes off as sensitive for fear of hurting his feelings. Or at least having to deal with them. If she gets the vibe that you’re not only awkward but also extremely sensitive, you can expect to get ghosted.
The only cure for awkwardness is repetition and practice so you can beat the fear out of yourself. Social skills are exactly that, skills. And just like all other skills, they need to be learned. You can’t expect to have a non-awkward date if you’re not going on dates and getting through the awkward phase. The most non-awkward and “smooth” guys are simply the guys who have had the most practice. It’s all about overcoming fears and repetition.
GGAFTD Reason #5: Not Pitching Any Ideas For Future Dates In A Fun Way
Another reason you could be getting ghosted after the first date is because you’re not playfully proposing ideas for future dates. I have a great technique for doing this called “fake joke worlds” which I cover in an article here. Read it and master it. The key to proposing future dates is by doing it in a way that doesn’t come off as needy. Meaning, when you propose the date, she has to get a feeling from you that you don’t really care whether she actually goes on the date with you or not because you’re just having fun and saying what you think.
Another thing proposing future dates does is get her talking about she likes. If you propose a wild date idea, not only will she be excited and caught off guard, but she may also dislike the idea and tell you how crazy it is. This is a good thing. Why? Because you can then ask her things like “Well then where are you taking me for out next date?” and she will begin explaining to you where she wants to take YOU for your next date together. It’s fun, playful, and effective.
GGATFD #6: She Was Looking For A Hookup And You Boyfriended Yourself
Sometimes girls will ghost guys because they are looking for a hookup or “fun times with a fun guy” while the guy is giving off the “let’s get married and have 15 kids tomorrow” vibe. If this happens to be you, then you are probably getting ghosted after the first date…
If you are a guy who is looking for a long-term commitment, your best play (besides asking yourself WHY) is to first establish yourself as an attractive man and then dabbler in the more provider qualities later on. If you can establish yourself as a high-status and attractive man early, then you will have the most leverage possible for turning your relationship into a long-term one. Going into any relationship (romantic, business, or friendship) with a “this has to be long-term” can be extremely harmful to your mental and psychic health.
GGATFD #7: Literally Any Reason
The truth is, there are so many reasons guys get ghosted that I genuinely believe “literally any reason” should be on this list. It is almost impossible to understand exactly what caused a woman to act or react in a certain way, and it’s often times pointless to try and figure it out. I have known many men who have went down the “why did she do that” rabbit hole that only ends up in confusion, frustration, and headaches. It is in these situations that women (and men too for that matter) have the tendency to act in a non-logical fashion, so trying to logically and cause-and-effectly put together different pieces of a puzzle can be like trying to…
It just sucks, okay?
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[…] unmatch. If I like the girl, I send a message and see what’s what. 9/10 times they ghost, but whatever, you then know they’re horrible human beings and move […]