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Top 5 Tinder Rules For Guys In 2021

Yo, yo, this is Grant – and this article is going to be five tinder rules for guys on 2021.

These tips work. So it doesn’t matter if you’re on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Grindr, Meet Cupid, or anything else…

And it doesn’t matter if you’re attracted to girls, guys, aliens, pets, bottles of whiskey, spoons… DOESN’T MATTER!

Whatever you’re into, follow these five dating principles and apply them to be wildly successful.

Tip #1: Get High Quality Pictures

I can not explain to you how important high quality pictures are, because here’s the reason:

A lot of guys will say, “Grant, I’m not attractive enough. I’m not pretty enough,” blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Dude, here’s the red pill truth that you need to hear. It does not matter how physically attractive you were born – as in the the shape of your face, type of hair you have, etc.

It also doesn’t matter how tall you are…

The only thing that matters is getting a high quality picture. But there’s a lot that goes into that.

Things needed for a high quality picture:

  • Good resolution camera (clear picture quality)
  • Good lighting
  • Face clearly visible
  • Good style
  • Facial hair trimmed / maintained
  • Haircut that fits face / style
  • Good pose

Trim That Beard, Boy

You need to trim your facial hair. Get a good-looking, trimmed + maintained beard.

Find a hairstyle that works for your face. Try out different hairstyles. Find one you like an copy it. Literally.

Go to any hot guy’s Instagram page, and just copy what he does.

Wear his clothes. Try out his haircut. Find his girlfriend and finger-bang her. It doesn’t matter. Be him for a day.

You could be the ugliest guy in the world. But, if you have a well-maintained beard, good style, and picture is very high quality, you’re going to get matches, bro.

Tip #2: Write A Great Bio

#2 is write a great bio. ALWAYS avoid the generic, boring phrases like “I work at accounting”. “I love dogs”. “I like to party”.

Instead what you want to do is express your own interests (or jokes) in a way that is creative.

Let’s say you love working out. Instead of just saying, “Love to work out,” make it creative and playful.

Say something like, “Looking for my future wife and she’s dressed in lulu legging”. Or something like “Looking for my future wife and she’s waiting to spot me on a bench press.”

Make it something creative and playful.

Or maybe you’re an accountant who likes smart girls. Instead of saying “Im an accountant”….

You could be like, “Only like girls if they’re into numbers, #accountant.”

or “If you ain’t smart, not talking to you, #accountant.”.

Make it interesting.

Put something fun in there.

Tip #3: Don’t Simp On Your Opener

Please, For God’s sake, don’t simp on your opener.

This means do not go into a girl’s DMs and be like, “Hey baby, you’re so beautiful. Oh my God, you’re gorgeous.”

“You’re an angel on earth”. “Oh, I just really want to take you on one date. Just please let me take you on one …”

Don’t do that.

You got to slide in like a man. Slide in like a man that bangs women every day.

You got to be fierce with it. And there’s a bunch of different openers you can use.

The Opener

The opener doesn’t really matter, as long as you’re not simping.

I’ve slid in with one-word openers before. As long as you’re not simping, you have a good shot.

Because here’s the crazy thing:

Your profile is your opener.

So if you can master getting good pictures + have a good bio, you don’t need much for the opener because your profile has done so much for you.

Think about it.

If Brad Pitt had a really, really good dating profile, he could just slide in with a period – literally a dot – and the girl would be like, “Oh my God,” because he’s got status. His profile did everything for him.

In the same way, you can make a profile that makes you look like a boss – and if you look like a boss – you don’t really have to say anything with the opener.

On the other side of the spectrum, if for your profile pics you’re in a dark room in every one of your pictures rocking a satanic hoodie and a bowl cut – you could have the best opener ever and she’s still going to be like “What the fuck?”.

So get good pics.

Tip #4 – Do Not Succumb To Shit Tests

A shit test is simply a girl’s way of determining how high value of a man you really are.

With one simple comment, she will be able to see where you decide to place yourself in the dominance heirarchy.

If you’re 24 (like me) she’ll be like, ” Awwww you’re 24?”.

That’s it.

That’s the shit test.

It’s like she’s saying “aww you’re super young and you think you’re good enough for me?” wrapped into a simple comment known as a shit test.

You can tell it’s a shit test whenever you think the girl is trying to make you qualify yourself to her.

AKA explain to her why you’re good enough for her, instead of her explaining why she’s good enough for you.

3 Ways To Pass Every Shit Test:

Remember: If you are unreactive to a shit test, you pass.And if you can make her laugh with you response to a shit test, you’ve just scored HUGE points.

Here are 3 ways to pass:

#1: Ignore it – One way you can pass a shit test is by ignoring it.

This means that (sticking on the “Awww you’re 24?” example) when she says that, you simply continue a different thread of the conversation – completely ignoring her shit test and therefore passing it in the process.

Her: I finished biz school, got my masters.

Her: You look younger than 25

You: Wait you got your MBA?

You: LOL yes i’m 24 bb

Her: Yes I just got it last semester! So excited to be done!!

Her: Awww you’re 24?

You: honestly shocked u passed, were u scared u were gonna be in college forever

and that’s all you send. You just ignore the second part.

#2 – Agree And Exaggerate – This is when you just agree with what she said, and then exaggerate it to a whole new level. Pretty straight forward.

Her: Awww you’re 24?

You: bbgirl I JUST turned 24. I was literally in a crib 20 mins ago.

or

Her: Awww you’re 24?

You: Literally just finished breastfeeding 20 mins ago.

All you do is take her shit test to the next level.

#3 – Flip it – This is when you flip the shit test on her, and create a shit test of you’re own.

Her: Awwww you’re 24?

You: Wait… you’re 26? Omg. I didn’t think you were that old…

What are you going to do with your 3 good years left?

or

Her: Awwww you’re 24?

You: Omg are you a cougar? I’ve never dated a grandma.

The flip is pretty simple. You’re just turning her negative into a positive and then flipping it onto her.

Tip #5 – Move It Off Of Tinder Asap

You don’t want to keep the conversation on the dating app. And you preferably don’t want to have more than one conversation on it either.

This means that before the first conversation fizzles or dies out, you’re going to want to get another medium of communication from her – either snapchat, instagram, or her #.

The best time to close is after you’ve already built up some comfort with her and have everything at a high point.

This means she’ll either be laughing at one of your jokes or saying something like “Ha-ha, oh my God,” at a high emotional point in the conversation.

All you have to respond with is “Haha, what’s your IG?”.

“Haha, what’s your Snapchat?” “Haha, what’s your whatever?”

It doesn’t matter what it is. You just want to move it off of the dating app as soon as possible.

Once Off The App, Use Texts As Logistics / Attraction Building Only

Once it’s off the dating app, think of it as a logistical tool.

when you’re first sliding into the DMs on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, etc – you first have to build attraction with her.

But once it’s there, get the Instagram, Snapchat, number, whatever, and move it off the dating app.

Once there, think of texting her as a logistical tool.

So instead of saying things to her like “hows your day going :)” and using her as your texting buddy – save that stuff for in person and only send her texts like “when are you free?” “Let’s do this”. “How about we do this”. Etc.

You: Let’s hang out this time or this time

Her: Okay, cool

You: Okay, awesome. See you then

Then you stop texting her.

Stop just dragging out these boring conversations with women, bro.

Get her attracted – and then once she’s attracted – use your texts for logistics only. Do not make her your texting buddy.

Well….

I love you. Wishing you the best of luck, health, riches, and women.

Have a wonderful day.

Coaching:

Stepbystepdating.com

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How To Pass A Girl’s Shit Tests With Ease

Yo, yo. It’s Grant. This article is going to be how to pass any girl’s shit test with ease.

You’re definitely going to want to stay to the end of this article because we got some bangers in here, boy.

Basically, if you are trying to build attraction with a girl, you’re going to get a shirt test, right?

“Grant, what’s a shit test?”

In its simplest form, a shit test is a girl’s way of trying to see where you are in the status hierarchy and the dominance hierarchy.

By using only words, she will make a statement and use your reaction to that statement to pinpoint you as a high value or low value man.

She’s going to peg you in one of those two categories depending on how you answer or respond to the shit test.

So if a girl gives you a shit test, it’s basically like giving you an opportunity on a platter, saying “show me if you’re high status or low status,”.

She’s basically saying, “Show me your cards” because a lot of guys will try to act high status until they get a girl that’s good at shit tests.

If that same guy actually thinks of himself as low status inside of his own head, and then is pressed by the girl, he gets exposed.

Passing A Girl’s Shit Tests Build Massive Attraction

Passing a shit test is one of the most important parts of building attraction with a woman because it builds what’s called congruency,

It shows them, oh, he actually is the high status guy that he’s marketing himself as.

We’re going to cover everything here, but in its simplest version, the shit test is just a girl trying to determine in her own mind if the guy she’s testing is either high or low status.

How To Know It’s A Shit Test

You’ll know you’re getting a shit test when your initial urge is to basically qualify yourself to a girl.

She’s going to say something that’s going to make you want to initially start qualifying yourself, but it’s a trap

Qualifying is when someone starts giving reasons to someone else why they are good enough, cool enough, etc. They are basically forming arguments to prove to somebody that they are worthy of their approval.

For example, a girl may say “why are you wearing black shoes? Gross.”

And the guy that fails the shit test and qualifies himself will be like “Ohh uhh I only had one pair of shoes left and all the other ones were dirty but I usually wear white shoes I promise!!!”

See that?

Here’s another example:

I’m 24 years old, and I date a lot of girls that are mid-twenties to early thirties. A lot of these girls, if they’re older than me (especially if they’re 28, 29 plus) are going to shit test me about my age at some point. It’s normal.

In this girl’s particular case, she goes… ” Awwww, you’re 24?” That’s a shit test.

At that point, I have two options. I can be like, “Yeah, but I’m like a cool 24 year old.”… Which is trash. Don’t do that. Because if I did that, I’d be qualifying myself.

3 Ways To Pass A Shit Test:

You either ignore it, accept and exaggerate, or you flip the frame.

Ignore it – If a girl shit tests you, option #1 is just to ignore it. This means that you just continue on the conversation like normal, completely ignoring the shit test and keeping control of the frame.

Agree And Exaggerate – This is when you basically say “it’s actually worse than you’re giving me shit for” in a completely playful way.

For the above example, the girl says “awwwww, you’re 24?”

A great accept and exaggerate would be saying “I JUST turned 24. I was literally in a crib 20 minutes ago”.

Or “bb I literally JUST turned 24. I was literally breastfeeding last night”.

See that?

It’s just taking her shit test and dumping it on its head through humor and confidence. There is nothing more attractive to a girl than passing her shit test by making her laugh.

Flip The Frame – The flip the frame is best for slower text conversations, while the accept and exaggerate is better for high-energy banters.

All the flipping the frame is is using the opposite of what the girl says to your advantage. So when she says “awww you’re 24”, I come back with “wait you’re 26? What are you going to do with your 2 good years left?”.

Her simple “you’re too young” shit test was flipped into a “you’re too old” shit test.

After she said “aww you’re 24?” I said:

Who hurt you, BB? Tell me your scars.”

So with that, can you see the frame I’m coming from? I’m coming from “24 year olds are the shit.”

It’s my frame over her frame.

She then goes, “Hmm. I just don’t really talk to anyone my age or younger in that case. LOL. I’m going to be 27 next month… Shit’s getting real old.”

She did alright (sort of).

She was originally trying to roast me for being young but I instantly flipped it with the stronger frame. and started roasting her for being old.

You could even start calling her grandma, lol. You can do all this stuff. But you have to be careful…

Because if a girl gives you a shit test – especially with age – usually there’s an insecurity there, right? So she’s kind of insecure that she would be talking to a 24 year old due to her age.

But keep in mind if you flip that too hard on the person, they could actually start to get offended.

It’s like someone who thinks they’re fat will go around calling everybody else fat.

They’ll say, “Oh, you’re fat. You’re fat”. But if they get called fat, they’re going to get broken by it, right, because they’re revealing their cards.

If someone’s going around calling everyone else fat, they have an insecurity about them being fat. They’re showing you their hand and they don’t even know they’re playing poker.

So in the same way, by her shit testing me for my age, she’s got a weird age thing. So be careful.

I wouldn’t go too hard because I have lost women from roasting them too hard on their own shit test..

Another Example:

At some point, I got her Instagram and now we’re talking in Instagram, right? So we’re talking and then she goes, “I like your young boy energy, It’s kind of refreshing.”

Again, another age-related shit test.

With this one, I simply ignore it. I just respond with “You’re going to love it tomorrow,” and then continue inviting myself over to her house.

So she says, “I like your young boy energy.” Instead of getting offended or anything, just say, “You’re going to love it tomorrow.” Right?

You just go with the flow. You never get reactive or defensive.

There’s nothing wrong about it or bad about it. It’s just your frame over her frame. So if she says, “Oh, you got young boy energy,” I just say, “You’re going to love it tomorrow.”

When To Decide To Not Pass Her Shit Tests And Let Her Go

Once you start talking to more women, you will begin to decipher what types of women you like and what women you don’t like.

One of the distinctions you will begin to make is whether or not the girl is giving you shit tests because she is genuinely trying to see if she’s attracted to you – or if she’s giving you shit tests because she is angry and filled with a lot of low-level energy.

A lot of times you will experience very emotionally damage women who begin to get mean with their shit tests in a non-flirty way. If this happens to you, understand that these women are not emotionally healthy and there is no winning their game. Your best bet in this situation is to simply either not respond to her message or tell her you are no longer interested because you don’t want to deal with her energy – and then respectfully leave.

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How To Get Laid On Tinder / Bumble (Even If You Live With Your Parents

Yo yo. It’s Grant. And in this Article, it’s going to be all about how to get laid on Tinder or Bumble, even if you live with your parents.

You’re going to want to devour this thing to the end because there are some nuggets in this thing, dude.

I Was In Your Position

Chevrolet Astro - Wikipedia

The only reason I know any of this is because I was in your exact same situation…

I lived with my parents, had no money, was dead broke – but was literally dating very, very pretty girls with no assets whatsoever.

I had nothing. And it didn’t matter.

I drove a 1999 dented Astro van that people literally made fun of me for because it looked like a pedo van.

Like, If you were a pedophile, you would see that van and be like, “I love that.”

But enough about me. let’s jump into the content.

Step 1: Mindset

I am whole {enough}.

The first thing you need to understand and believe in your soul is that you don’t need anything but yourself to date beautiful women. Does that make sense?

So right now, in your head, you might think (because I was once this person too) that you need a really nice house.

Or a really nice car.

Or you might think you need an amazing career and all that stuff. Right?

But let’s say you have nothing. And you’re perfectly happy with living with your parents forever.

Obviously I would encourage you to go out and make money, learn the skills needed to start an online business, and then do it. But you don’t have to if all you want to do is get laid.

That ultra-high quality girl that wouldn’t usually have a long-term “official” relationship with a guy like you right now, would, believe it or not, still bang you.

That’s the craziest part about it. And that’s one thing I want to really get through your head – that although you may need that stuff for a longterm relationship with a high-quality girl…

You don’t need anything to hook up with her for one night.

In fact, you don’t need anything to date her for four to five months.

I dated a girl for an entire year and she never went to my house one time, lol.

So believe me when I tell you that you don’t need any of that at all. All you need is the confidence in yourself.

Believe That You’re The Shit

Thoughts on life: How do douchebags not realize it?

You need to believe that you, yourself, what you like, what you don’t like, and your opinions, are fucking awesome. And that anyone who talks trash about what you believe or what you think is wrong.

You need supreme confidence in yourself.

“But Grant, I don’t have supreme confidence.”

That’s fine.

I’m still going to tell you how to hook up with the girl even if you have nothing, including confidence, lol.

So here’s exactly how to get laid on Tinder or Bumble, even if you live with your parents.

Learn Game And How To Create Attraction With Women

86 - Acquire Skills, Master a Skill

First thing’s first. Learn game.

This means you need to understand attraction triggers. You need to understand female psychology and what turns women on.

Once you know this, nothing else matters, bro.

To get laid, you don’t need car, house, boat, or to be 6’11.

You just need to learn game.

So… get really good at attracting women.

Why?

Because it’s a skill you can learn even if you think you’re ugly, short, r anything else.

In fact, I guarantee that if you’re thinking “Oh man I can’t get girls because x and x and x”…. you don’t know game yet. Because if you understood game, you would realize none of that stuff matters.

So if you currently think, “Oh, I’m not tall enough. Oh, I’m not rich enough. I’m not good looking enough,” or anything like that. The issue isn’t the physical. The issue is inside of you.

It’s your spiritual mechanism. Your beliefs are not fully “revved up” to what they could be. So, number one, get that figured out.

Don’t Tell Her That You Live With Your Parents

At 31, I still live at home with my parents – and I wouldn't swap it for  the world

If you’re talking to her, don’t tell her that you live with your parents.

Dude, if you live with your parents, you have to understand that if you’re just going to bang or hook up with a girl, she doesn’t have to know anything about you.

She only knows what you present to her.

Does that make sense?

So don’t tell her that you live with your parents.

If she asks you about your living situation, just say apartment. She’s never going to see it anyway. So just tell her you live in your own apartment. It’s very simple.

I wouldn’t say “I have a nine story, luxury mansion.” But I also wouldn’t say “I live with my parents.”

I would just say I have my own apartment. And then I would go onto a different subject.

So, the biggest thing, number one, is don’t tell her you live with your parents because that will kill attraction.

Bit here’s the crazy part about it…

You can live with your parents and that fact alone doesn’t matter because she doesn’t know.

BUT, If she knows you live with your parents, that’s what’s going to kill you.

Does that make sense?

Perception is everything.

Dress To Impress

If you want to get laid with a girl from Tinder or Bumble and you have nothing, dress to impress. This will help you tremendously.

When you go onto the date, dress like you have stuff. Dress like you have your own place. Dress like you’re a high quality man. She doesn’t know anything about you, right? She’s never met you before. She only knows what you tell her.

So you have to present an image that is attractive.

I don’t care how unimportant you think your style is – I can’t stress this enough. If you dress better, women will become more attracted to you.

Because what women think is attractive (like dressing better) has five of those attraction triggers built into it that you won’t even understand right now.

But I guarantee you, if you dress better, you’ll get better results.

Check this out: https://www.instagram.com/menwithstreetstyle/

Find an outfit on there and copy it. Go to Ross, go to whatever, and copy the outfit.

You don’t even have to keep it, bro.

Just find an outfit on there, choose one you like, and go by it’s less expensive replica. Then wear it to the date.

You can return it afterwards.

And you could keep doing that forever.

You don’t even need to own the clothes, bro. I was buying really dope clothes (when I barely had any money) and was returning it after the date.

I did that 30 times. You just need to be resourceful.

Show up to that date and look fucking fire, dog. Look fire.

No one should see you and be like, “That guy lives with his parents.”

They should see you and be like, “That’s a fucking good looking motherfucker.”

Learn Personal Grooming

Clean Fade and beard line-up done by @signaturebarber | Beard fade, Beard  line, Haircuts for men

Learn how to trim your beard. Learn how to line your beard. Learn what facial hair works for you. Learn what type of haircut works for you.

My hair randomly got curly one day. I literally woke up and my hair was curly. And I realized, “Oh, I can do the curly hair down style.”

And so now, I always get compliments from girls about how they like my haircut (and I never used to even do this style). I just realized one day I could do it. Then I tried it and it worked.

So get a haircut, trim your beard, all that stuff. Look good.

Plan Your Date Near Her House (Very Important)

How to Use Google Maps to Plan an Awesome Vacation | WIRED

This is a good one. This is a you-only-learn-this-in-the trenches type tip. You ONLY learn this in the trenches, boy.

Find out where she lives early in the conversation and then plan your date near her house.

So let’s say you’re in a neighboring town like me and you’re going to go on a date downtown. That’s pretty common. I would always go to the actual city with girls to get drinks.

So, early in the conversation, I’d be like, “Ha ha. Are you downtown downtown? Are in a neighboring town?”

And she’d be like, “Oh, I’m actually downtown. I have an apartment downtown.”

I’d be like, “Okay, dope.”

Then i’d just move forward in the convo while keeping her location in mind.

Because listen, I live with my parents. I don’t want her to come to my house. I want to go to her house. She doesn’t have to see anything from me…

So in my head I’m thinking “how do I get to her house”?

Hint: plan the date near her house.

So when the date’s over, you can be like, “Hey, I’m coming over. Ha ha ha.” And she’ll be like, “Haha What!?” while laughing. And you’ll be like, “Yeah seriously can’t wait to cuddle you.” And then she’s like, “Okay, fine.”

And then you’re at her apartment.

If anything comes up you just say, “Oh, I live way over there.”

So find out where she lives early in the conversation and plan your date near her house so she never has to see yours. That’s some next level shit right there.

Strategically Park Far AF Away

Are You Hiding From Potential Clients?

What else was I saying?

Oh, as far as the date goes, you probably don’t have any money and you probably have a shitty car, right?

I did when I lived at home. I drove a 1999 battered Astro van, bro.

So, what did I do?

When I went to the date I showed up about 10, 15 minutes early.

Some dating coaches might be like, “Never show up to the date early. You’re going to look like a beta male.”

Dude, fuck all that. You got to do what’s best for you.

I would get there 10 minutes early because I would buy my own drink and only my own drink. I didn’t have any money.

If you show up after the girl, do you know how much pressure there is on you to buy her a drink?

If you say, “Oh, I’m going to go get a drink” and she follows you up, it takes some courage to just get your own drink. That’s advanced game.

If you’ve been dating for a long time, you can be next to a girl and just pay for your own drink like it doesn’t matter and be unphased.

But if you’re a newbie you’re like, “Oh, shit. Is the girl not going to like me?” It’s anxiety building.

So get to the date early and buy your own drink. When she shows up, you should already be sipping a drink and you should just be on your phone looking down.

Then when she shows up, she’ll say, “Hey”. When she does, text for just a second longer with a “Oh, I’m going to get you in a second,” face.

It will look like you’re just doing your thing when she says “Hey”. Because you’ll still be texting, kind of ignoring her. And then you say, “Oh, Hey, what up?” And you have your beer right there.

You’ll be like, “Yeah, the beers looked so good, I couldn’t wait. I’m sorry.”

And then she’ll be like, “Okay.”

Then you guys might talk for a little bit.

She’ll say, “I’m going to go get a drink.” And you’ll say, “Okay.” And then she’ll get her drink.

So now you guys are drinking.

But here’s some next level game, bro:

Before she finishes her drink you say…

“So you’re going to buy me another drink?”

It’s kind of cocky. It’s kind of funny. And usually the girl will say yes.

And then, by the time you guys have two drinks, you’ll either move locations or you’ll do whatever. So you got a free drink.

I do that all the time. Or I did do that all the time when I had no money because I would get a free drink and wouldn’t have to buy it.

I’d buy one drink for myself and she would buy the other one. And then we’d be at her house.

You don’t have to even buy drinks.

Also, if you drive a shitty car like I did, park the car far away, dude.

It’s another reason to show up early.

If you have a shit car, don’t even risk her seeing you in a shitty car. Literally park 10 blocks away.

I would park 10 blocks away when I had my shitty van because that way she’s not going to see you drive away in a shitty car. Don’t ruin your brand.

Escalate Physically Throughout The Date In Small Steps

Cheeky teenager holds onto escalator to slide across a bench and put his arm  around a girl | Daily Mail Online

This is huge.

So the goal is to get laid on the first date, right?

To get laid on the first date, you can’t just not touch her all date and then suddenly fuck her.

If you haven’t done any touching at all, it’s super hard to go from zero to 100. Even I would feel super awkward doing that. So what you have to do is you have to be building up touch all the time.

You’ll do it in little baby steps until she feels very comfortable.

So she shows up, you give her a hug.

Give her a hug to do the touch. Say, “Hey, great to see you.”

She’ll sit down. She says a joke. You laugh and you touch your shoulder. Be like, “Ha ha ha,” touch. “Ha ha ha,”. Another touch.

Tell a story and bring her into your arm. Have some story where you’re hugging her and squeezing her and rocking her. Control her a little bit so she’s used to just being in your arms.

Now you haven’t even left the venue and she’s already comfortable touching you. Then later on in the night, later on when you’re hanging out with her, you can arm over her or around her or you can bring her in and cuddle with her.

And then get really intimate and then start kissing her a little bit.

Kiss Her You Coward

Rebel Wilson Gets Kiss From Boyfriend Jacob Busch During Date Night! |  Jacob Busch, Rebel Wilson | Just Jared

I always recommend try to kiss on the first date. I don’t really have any first dates anymore that I don’t kiss or make out on the first…

Honestly, it’s rare that I don’t smash on the first date now because I’ve learned game. But you want to at least peck on the first date if you can.

Just at least a peck, a kiss, something during the date if you really want to get laid during it.

Build up touch. Get her comfortable with you.

Master The Art Of Inviting Yourself Over

Really Interesting idea we are doing it my way - Kill Yourself NoCaption |  Meme Generator

Once you’ve kissed her and you’ve built up a lot of physical touch, you’re going to make a joke.

Say, “Hey, can’t wait to go to your house!” Or “Are we going to your house?”.

I’ll just be like, “I’m going to your house?” she’ll be like, “Ha ha ha.” as she’s checking if I’m serious.

It’s kind of a joke, but not a joke. I do it all the time. I call it inviting yourself over.

You’re just going to assume that you’re going to go to her house. And usually they say okay. You’ll be like, “Hey, we’re going to go to your house and getting some drinks.”

Or you’ll be like, “Hey, we’ll go to your house. I’ll get some cheap wine.” She’ll be like, “Okay.”

They usually don’t have a problem with it because they’re already comfortable with you.

The only issue she would have is if you were a freak psycho on the date and you didn’t make her feel comfortable.

But let’s say she does. So you’re like:

“Grant, I took all your advice. She didn’t see my car. She didn’t see anything at all. I was touching her when I should have. I was building up little touches throughout the night.

By the middle of the date, we’re making out. Maybe even a little rub, rub, bang, bang finger action.

You never know.

Stay Undercover

Undercover Stealth Car Guy - On the Point - Auto Dealer Today

Depending on where you park, you can also say, “Hey, I’m going to make a phone call so text me your address now.”

Because you don’t want her to drive and you guys be behind each other at a stoplight where she can see your shitty car. So you want to make sure she’s gone.

So, depending on where you park, you can say, “Hey, text me your address” and wait in your car. Or you can say, “Hey, text me your address. I got to make a quick phone call. And then I’m going to come.”

Just make sure she’s gone and then you drive to her house. Park away from her house so she doesn’t see your shitty car.

And then you just go over to her house and bang, bro. It’s really that easy.

It’s really that easy.

So, from her perspective, she’s like “Oh, he’s got his stuff together.”

You’re super funny. You show up to the date. You’re looking hot. You’re looking fire, bro.

So she’s like, “Oh, this guy dresses well.”

You have funny jokes. You’re touching her the right way.

She’s like, “Oh, he’s actually really cool.”

Then you come over. And then she goes, “Oh, I want to…” And you play your cards right.

And now you have just gotten laid on Tinder or Bumble while living with your parents.

Does it matter that you live with your parents? Not for hooking up.

So, that’s all I got for you. Wish you the best of luck. Any questions at all, grant@stepbystepdating.com. I will answer your questions.

Coaching:

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How To Approach A Girl In The Library


How to approach a girl in the library.

Approaching a girl in the library is actually pretty easy if you just keep yourself under control. With so many different books, environments, and situations going on in the library at one time, you can leverage anything around you to strike up a conversation and keep it moving in the direction you want it to go.

Many Different Environments

A library – especially in a city – can give you great practice reps for meeting and attracting the girl of your dreams. Why? Because there’s so many different environments.

There are usually larger, open, loungeish type places in a library along with the more private isles with books alongside them. There are also (if you’re at a larger library) some places to get coffee or food as well. Libraries have many different environments that are perfect for getting your practice reps in.

Go To The City Library

If you’re semi-close to a big city, I would highly recommend driving over there and giving yourself a chance to meet a girl in a larger library. Small town libraries are usually much more difficult to find attractive women, as it will usually be a lot of older people. But if you go into the city, you’ll be able to find those trendier girls who are there for the books, environment, or Starbucks. Coffee shops within libraries are a great place to meet women as well.

Use Serendipity In Your Favor

Libraries are fantastic for meeting women because they have an element of serendipity that places like nightclubs or meetup groups don’t have. You already have a reason to be there, which is to check out books.

Unlike places where people go for the sole purpose of meeting new people, libraries have an element of serendipity that you can use to further your connection with a woman. Woman love the “I was doing x and we just met out of nowhere” type stories. And the more you can frame it as serendipitous (because it is actually serendipitous) the better the story.

How To Approach A Girl In A Library: The Book Isle

You’re going to notice that with a lot of these library approaches, there will be a common theme of using the environment to your advantage. When doing this, you’re going to want to make sure that you are relaxed and aware of your surroundings.

When she’s in a book isle, she will either be walking through it, browsing slowly, or stopping and doing something else that’s not book-related like visiting the coffee shop. We’ll go through each one of these situations individually.

When She’s Walking Through The Isle

If she’s actively walking through the isle, you have two options. You can either stop her in that very moment or let her go and try and find her in a different part of the library in the least stalkerish way possible. In this situation, I would recommend stopping her as soon as you see her because you never know if you’re going to see her again.

In this situation, there will never be a perfect moment. You’re going to need to create your own perfect moment by either opening her directly or indirectly.

A direct opener in this situation would be something like “Hey I know this is sort of strange that I’m saying hey to you right now but I thought you were really cute and would probably never see you again. What’s your name?” and then go from there. You just want something that is direct (meaning you’re telling her why you’re doing something) and is also acknowledging the fact that you understand stopping someone in a library isn’t the “normal” thing to do. This is what I would do.

The other option you do have though is to go indirect. Going indirect would be saying something like “Hey this is random but you look like a big library girl, do you happen to know where the books on (topic you’re interested in) are?”

This is a great indirect line because you’re not revealing your intention of hitting on her, you’re simply asking her a question about the library. But by calling her a big library girl and mentioning books on something you like, you are inviting her to carry on the conversation by asking you about why you called her a library girl or how she likes the same types of books you’re looking for. It puts you in the best position possible for going indirect. And if she doesn’t really answer, just keep the conversation going. Keep talking until she actively begins pulling away.

How To Approach A Girl In The Library: When She’s Browsing Books

When a girl is browsing books, she will usually be stationary. Meaning, she won’t be going anywhere. She will be standing still.

This situation gives you a lot of different great opportunities because instead of trying to catch her attention as she’s walking away, she will already have a reason to be where she is at. And so will you, which makes this situation preferred over her walking away.

In this situation, I will usually begin mentioning something about the book she’s reading, or playfully roasting her about it. Another great technique is making a wild assumption about what she is preparing for by reading the book she has in her hand.

One example of this is that if she’s reading a romance novel, I will either say something like “is it as good as they say it is” or “making sure everything’s in place for when you meet your prince charming?”. These two statements are vague enough to allow her to interpret it how she wants and powerful enough to get a reaction out of her. Comments like this are also helpful because they’e not fully direct like explicitly saying “you’re cute and I want to talk to you” but they also aren’t completely indirect because you are clearly striking up a conversation with a purpose. Going this route will also save you from the transition from “where’s the bathroom?” to “what book are you reading?” which is something I usually like to avoid.

The Overflow Of Passion Tactic

The “overflow of passion” is another technique you can use to strike up a conversation with her. I actually use this one fairly often if I’m in an isle I enjoy and there just happens to be a cute girl there. I also use this out of the library as well. If you think she’s going to be leaving soon, I probably wouldn’t use this. But if she’s just chilling where she’s at, it can be successful.

Basically, what you want to do is grab a book that is in the same isle she is in. Then, read through the book a little bit and find a line you either really agree with or really disagree with. Once you find that part of the book, you’re going to want to say “YES!” or “NO WAY!” to that part of the book, look up happy or confused, and then immediately show her that same part of the book that you were talking about while confirming your own opinion.

Here’s a completely random example that has no actual reflections on my own opinions of anything:

*Sees cute girl and then picks up and begins to reads random book about the evolution of dogs from wolves*

Me talking to myself: FINALLY! Someone who sees that all dogs came from wolves.

Then I’d just start walking up to her holding the page open…

Me: This says all dogs came from wolves, which is pretty much what everyone believes right now. Can you think of any alternatives to this? How can people disagree with this?

Her: *looks confused or begins talking about wolves and dogs with you*

Whatever she reacts with, doesn’t really matter. You’ve just opened in semi-natural way. The passion you felt while reading your wolf dog book was so strong that you just had to share it with someone close to you. And that someone just happened to be her – who was close by.

How To Approach A Girl In The Library: The Non-Book Situation

The non-book situation is basically every other situation in the library that doesn’t involve her in a book isle. This could be in some type of lounge area, a coffee shop, a gift shop, or anything else you can think of.

There would obviously be too many potential situations for me to cover every single one, so I will briefly cover some principles that you will want to keep in mind when you are approaching in these other parts of the library.

#1 It’s A Library – This means that for the most part, it is usually pretty quiet. Try to be considerate of this or you will either embarrass the girl when you are talking to her or come off as a completely un-socially calibrated ass.

#2 Use The Environment Around You – Whatever situation you find yourself in, you can simply either comment on something she’s doing or make an insane assumption about how what she’s doing will lead to. Make sure if you do the assumption thing “Like assuming because she’s drinking a coffee she’s preparing for coffee con” that she knows you are joking and you do it in a lighthearted way, or people can become offended. It’s a fine line to walk that you will get better at over time.

#3 Say You Have To Go Soon And Then Make The Conversation Brief (Unless It’s An Insta Date) – In the very beginning of the conversation, mention to her that you need to go soon. This will prevent her from think to herself “when will this guy ever go away”. A simple comment about needing to go meet up with your friends soon can do a lot of good things for your approach. Once mentioned, all you need to do is say or do things that come across as high value (like making a joke) and then telling her you need to go and getting her number. Make it brief unless you ask her to join you on a date somewhere.

Any other questions? Feel free to send me an email at grant@stepbystepdating.com or join this free training.

Best of luck,

Grant

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How To Talk To A Girl In Class (Completely Step-By-Step)

You’re a fine gentleman wanting to know how to talk to a girl in class.

Alas’ my friend, you’ve come to the right place.

Does this sound like you?

There’s a cute girl in your class. Which is Awesome.

And you really want to talk to her. Even awesome(er).

The only problem is, you know deep down that if you mess it up, well, you’ll still have class with her. Which will be really, really awkward. So you’re left wondering…

I’ve been there. It’s not fun.

But i’ve also successfully turned girls in my classes into long-term girlfriends.

And that IS fun.

So to help you avoid a potentially awkward situation, i’m going to give you my best tips for talking to that girl in your class (and even getting her to like you.)

Because let’s be honest…

You don’t just want to talk to her.

You want to have a relationship with her.

And you know the best way for you to do that is to actually talk to her in a way that doesn’t make it awkward for the rest of the term, right?

It’s like a love sneak attack.

So let’s get into it.

Step #1: Plant The Seed That You Exist

Depending on your class size, you might be surrounded by hundreds of other people. If that’s the case, you’re going to need to plant the seed that you exist. AKA say something to her to initially break the ice.

Do NOT go up to her if you’ve never spoken to her before and start asking her things like “Where are you from, what do you like to do, how are you today, etc”. Because if you bring that boring conversation to the goddess in the 3rd row, she’s going to leave you BURNED.

Instead, you’re going to have to understand that this girl in your class knows absolutely nothing about you. So if you just walk up to her and start asking her boring questions, she’s going to immediately know that the only reason you’re talking to her is to get her number. Which in this case is bad, because she’ll be like “why is this guy trying to get my number without just directly asking me for it? And why is he holding me in a conversational prison?”

And then it’s game over.

Instead, do this:

The Best Way To Plant The Seed That You Exist

Before class gets out, figure out where she’s sitting. And when the bell rings – or when the class ends – start exiting the room near her and begin walking close to her. You want to create the “I’m just randomly asking you this because you happen to be next to me” effect.

Once you just oh-so-happen to be walking right next to her while everyone is leaving the class, you’re now going to want to ask her (as you’re walking out of the room with everyone else) something about the class that she probably won’t know the answer to. Because if she doesn’t know the answer, the conversation will be extremely quick. Which is a good thing right now.

One of the openers I ended up using pretty frequently when I would just “happen” to walk up beside her was asking “did you actually get notes on the x part? It was literally spanglish”.

Then the girl would look over and respond by say something like “No I didn’t get that either, lol”. And then I would say something like “Yep. I’ll never watch (youtube / instagram stories / tiktok) cat videos in class again”. Then I’d just walk away.

But why does this work as step #1 for how to talk to a girl in class?

Becoming The “Funny Guy That Doesn’t Care Whether People Like Him Or Not”

The reason it works is because you are offering value to her (by making little jokes like calling it spanglish and saying you’ll never watch cat videos in class again) without asking her to do anything or wanting anything from her romantically.

Doing this also drops subtle hints that you’re high-status by displaying some sarcasm and also nonverbally telling her you’re a rebel that doesn’t care about the “no phones in class” rules. It does a lot of things in a short amount of time.

But the biggest thing it does for you?

Lets her know that you exist.

So by the time you enter step #2, if you don’t have any previous experiences with her, she will at least remember your face from that brief conversation. That is, IF you execute step #2 within the next few days to a week.

Step #2: Make Her Laugh The Next Time You Talk To Her

Once she already knows you exist, you can move on to step 2. Some guys will already be at this step when they’ve found this article.

For step 2, what you’re going to want to do next is to find any excuse you can to either tell her a really engaging story or make some type of sarcastic / funny comment. The key is to avoid boring conversation with her at all costs so you don’t shoot yourself in the foot.

This is the point where you will need to begin “heat checking” the situation. This means you will need to be actively analyzing how much you think she is into you and whether or not she will say yes or no if you ask her to hang out with you or your friends. Most girls will say “yes” to hanging out with you in a low-pressure setting if you can get their interest in you up to about a 6.5-7. So your focus should be on getting her to like you more by showing her that you’re a fun guy who isn’t needy.

The reason “saying something funny to her” is step #2 is because you will need to provide value to her in every interaction you have in order to build interest. And the easiest way to do this is by continually providing her value in the form of laughter and playfulness while avoiding heavy and logical, interview-style situations like the plague.

This may look like this:

The Secret “Under The Radar” Funny Conversation Script That They Don’t Want You To Know About – The “omg meme”

The “omg meme” has helped me begin more conversations than I can even count. The reason it works so well is because it starts the conversation off on a playful note and is extremely low-pressure for the girl.

So let’s get into it.

For this you are going to want to either be standing or sitting by her in class.

Once you are close to her, get a meme pulled up on your phone that you think is funny and a has a little bit of an “OMG” factor.

Once the meme is pulled up, say “oohhh myy goddd” like you’re shocked that you received it and then immediately lean over and put the phone in front of her while saying “why are these my friends… do you have friends like this?”.

Once she responds with either yes or no (doesn’t really matter what she says, but if she says OMG YES! and starts telling you a story, let her talk) immediately tell her a story about something really funny / wild / crazy you did with your friends and make sure you tell it in a really funny, shocking and engaging way that portrays you as the leader of your friend group.

Once you do this, you will have opened the door of conversation that will allow her to see your super cool personality while also thinking of you as the leader of your group (which will be attractive to her).

Now, once you’ve been talking for a while, you are going to have to decide if she is only a LITTLE BIT into you or if she’s a LOTTA BIT into you.

Because this will determine the next step.

Step #3 – Ask Her “What’s Your Insta?” And Then Add Her On The Spot

There’s a couple different situations that could be going on here.

She could either be a LITTLE BIT into you or a LOTTA BIT into you.

If she’s only a little bit into you, and you can tell she’s not super into the conversation, then you are going to want to exit the conversation by saying something like “Cya meme buddy” and then either re-engage her at a later time or just move on to another girl.

But if she’s a lotta bit into you, and you think she finds you interesting enough to give you her social media handle, then it’s a great time to pull the trigger in a low-pressure way by saying “what’s your insta?” and then adding her right then and there while reminding her that she’s your meme buddy.

Why Asking For Her Instagram In Class Is Better Than Phone #

The reason asking for her Instagram is so fantastic is because for some reason, giving out her Instagram name is a lot “less of a deal” for the girl than if she were to give you her number. This means that the likelihood she will give it to you is really high, and you will have a communication channel to her other than class. Which is HUGE.

One additional thing asking “what’s your insta?” has over a phone number is that by adding you, she is gaining a follower. So it is actually making her look slightly more popular by agreeing to add you. Which only adds to the likelihood that she will say yes.

The “How To Talk To A Girl In Class” Tipping Point

Once you ask, she will either simply either give you her Instagram name or say she doesn’t have one. If she says she doesn’t have one because she is not that comfortable with you yet, then you’re going to want to say something that is playful and doesn’t show you’re butthurt at all like “That’s probably a good thing for instagram” and the flashing her a genuine smile as you walk away. If she says no, just take your L and move on.

But, if she says yes, then you are in an amazing position.

Why?

Because not only did you get her Instagram name, and then say “can’t wait to be meme buddies” as you left, but you also gave yourself something to talk about and relate to with her at all times:

Memes.

This means that instead of really texting her and having boring or dull conversations (check out my how to text a girl guide here) you can basically just send her funny memes and she will send you memes back. And this type of conversation never really dies out.

And at that point, you just ask her out to something low-pressure (not dinner or a movie) like a party, bowling, drinks, soccer in a field, etc. Literally anything that will have “fun” at the center of it.

And then you’re golden.

Key Takeaways:

  • Get her to know you exist in an extremely low-pressure and slightly funny way
  • Find ways to tell her really your most interesting stories with really good jokes in them
  • Ask her what her Instagram is and then send her cat memes until you both fall in love

And if you need additional dating help getting the girl, or have any pressing questions that I didn’t cover in this article, feel very free to either visit stepbystepdating.com or apply to join our exclusive email list for world-class dating content.

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