Author: Grant Greene

Status

How To Increase Your Social Status At School Quickly

Post author By Grant Greene
Post date May 24, 2020
1 Comment on How To Increase Your Social Status At School Quickly

How to increase your social status at school quickly.

If you’re currently someone who doesn’t feel as “cool” as they know they could be, then it may be time to increase your social status at school.

Contrary to popular belief, social status isn’t fixed. It’s actually something you can increase (or even decrease) depending on the actions you take and the value you can provide for the group.

In this article, I’ll give you some tangible how-tos on how to increase your social status at school both directly (through action) and indirectly (through the behaviors you display in a social setting). If you’re looking to increase your social status at school quickly, you’re definitely in the right place.

What Is Social Status?

Social status is simply the hierarchy that humans put themselves in according to either competence or resources. Meaning the richest or most skilled is usually at the top.

Humans have a very sensitive meter for judging someone’s status, so it’s important that you learn how people are going to judge you either consciously or unconsciously.

Luckily, skill and resources isn’t the only thing that determines someone’s social status, although it does have a lot to do with it. Another way to display high social status is to simply act like someone who has high social status. Because displaying these behaviors will go through people’s unconscious filters and they will automatically assume that you are more high status than you really are.

For the sake of this article, I’ll break “increasing your social status at school quickly” into two parts: providing tangible value & displaying high-status behaviors. Because both are extremely important, and don’t work as well unless combined together.

Increasing Your Social Status By Providing More Value

There are usually two tangible ways to increase your social status at school that work better than all of the others. And that’s either throwing parties (or hosting events) or dating and hanging out with the hottest girls.

When you learn the skills of making friends and throwing parties, or the skills of dating and hanging out with the hottest women (which I teach you here), then you will automatically be able to manifest two of the things that people want most in school – a fun time or an attractive partner.

The Time You Spend Learning “High Status” Skills Will Never Be Wasted

The time you spend getting better at making friends, planning and organizing parties, and dating the most attractive people is never wasted. Why?

Because those skills will be viewed as “high status” for the rest of your life. And will only serve you more and more in the future.

But let me say this now:

You will need to get out of your comfort zone. And so many people fear getting out of their comfort zone because they think the results they get won’t be worth the pain they endure.

But let me tell you this now…

If you take the time to get better at learning these skills…

And you focus on getting better at your craft…

It will be worth it.

Let’s get into it.

High Status Skill #1: Learning How To Throw Parties (And Events)

Throwing random parties with random people won’t do it.

You’re going to need to throw parties that some of the most high status people in your area come to. And you can do this by creating “hype” around your event.

But before you get to that point, you’re going to want to get good at the skill of inviting people to things and doing things with them. And you can begin this process by simply doing just that: doing small things like group trips or smaller events and inviting people to them. Then working your way up from there.

Group AirBnBs

Group Airbnb’s are great starter events for throwing parties and having a really good time.

Basically, for a group airbnb, all you’re going to want to do is find a large house in a nice location, and then rent it out for the night while having each person that attends split the cost.

Going one step further – If you are of legal drinking age – you can get supplies to make “jungle juice” and get some food / snacks as well, and factor that all into the equation. Djs would be a good idea too if you can make it work.

By doing these smaller parties, you will learn the skills necessary to throw the bigger ones that everyone will want to come to. And if you do it right, people will even start talking about these parties after they are over. And as word spreads, demand for them will increase.

Connecting Social Circles (Becoming the “Hub” person)

One way to instantly become higher status is by inviting people from different social circles to some type of event and then bringing them together with you as the common thread.

The reason doing this works so well is because you will be garnering social proof from each friend group while also putting you as the person with the most attention. Meaning, each friend group will think “wow, he has a lot of friends” and out of all the people there, you will be the one taking up the most of the space in their minds. You will be the highest value one.

Conversely, you can also simply make friends with the “hub” people and have them invite you to things as well. When they do, you will usually meet a large amount of similar people and can leverage those connections for throwing that larger party that the highest status people in your school come to. And that’s when things really take off.

Throwing The Party That Shoots You Into High Status Success

There will be one party or event that will secure your spot at the top of the hierarchy better than any of the others. And it will be the one that all of the high status people in your school come to.

At most schools, these high status people are usually going to be athletes, dancers / cheerleaders, social butterflies, “bad boys” that hang out with the high status people, etc. Your goal is to get all of these people to your parties, and you can do this with social calibration.

How you’re going to want to do this is by creating “hype” around the party. That means promising big things and then delivering.

Once the hype is built, you can invite friends of the high status people and tell them it’s going to be LIT. And once the friends are bought in, they will then invite the high status people to come. And once you have all of these people in one place, with you being the center of it, that is when you’ve just became high status.

High Status Skill #2: Dating / Hanging Out With The Most Attractive People

This one works particularly well for men. Why? Because what do all men want?

An attractive partner.

So if you can be the guy that routinely hangs out with beautiful women, then you will be someone that is instantly shot up to being viewed as high status, by both men and women.

When women see you with other attractive women, the instantly think that you are a high status man. And in the same way, when men see you with beautiful women, they will want to know how you did it, and how they can hang out with you. This is when you can ask other high status men to hang out with you and these beautiful girls, and then once they agree to it, boom. You’re now higher status.

So… How do you do it?

The short answer is by betting your dating skills up which I teach here in this free training. Which, in a nutshell, is learning to be a high status man combined with the skills of moving things forward and closing. If you can do these two things, you will be successful.

Mastering High Status Social Behaviors

The other, more intangible way to gain social status without actually building up resources (like parties, money or dating more attractive people) is by simply displaying high status behaviors. Some of the most important behaviors you can incorporate into the way people perceive you are these:

But before I reveal them to you, let me share with you the most important statement you will ever read in your life:

The world will accept the judgment you place on yourself and treat you accordingly.

Write this on your fridge and read it every morning:

The world will accept the judgment you place on yourself and treat you accordingly.

This means that whatever you believe of yourself, that is how you’re going to be treated. So the key to becoming higher status is to first believe you can become higher status, and then start acting like it.

Here are some high status indicators:

Body language
Voice
Eye contact
Value of your own opinions
Carefreeness
Charisma
Style

And while all of these are important – and are all things I cover on my exclusive email list – I’ll touch on a few of the most important ones here.

A Crazy, Unknown “Hack” That Instantly Gives You More High Status Behaviors

The easiest way to “fix” the low status things about yourself are by coming up with little statements that when followed, help you exhibit more high status behaviors. Why?

Because the truth is, you intuitively know how to do all of these high status things. The problem is, you’re letting your mind get in the way. So you need to quiet your mind down, and start acting things out. And you can do this with simple statements I’ll explain in just a second.

A great statement to teach yourself to fix your low status walk is by simply asking yourself this question:

How would someone walk if they were winning at life?

Once you ask yourself that question, just start walking like someone who is winning at life. And once you do it, you will understand that the weirdest part about it is, you already knew how to do it…

You just never did.

It is by asking yourself little “questions” like this that will help you get out of your mind and more into your body. And once you learn something in your body, you will be able to repeat it over and over again until it becomes a habit. And once it becomes a habit…

It quite literally, becomes you.

Valuing Your Own Judgements And Perceptions Of The World More Than Other People’s (Confidence)

Confidence is one of the most important high-status traits you can cultivate if you want to increase your social status at school quickly. Because people love confident people.

And although confidence is a term that is thrown around a lot, people don’t ever really get into the true factors that come with building up a level of core confidence that inspires people to be with you. So we’ll cover some of that right now.

One of the biggest factors in confidence sounds kind of corny, but it’s truer than anything else. And that’s building up the belief in yourself and how you view the world.

The truth is, there is no “right” way to see the world. Everyone has their own opinion. And just because someone has a different opinion or perspective as you, doesn’t make them right. It just makes your opinions different. Understanding this will allow you to hold firm in your views even when you come into contact with someone who disagrees. And holding your ground and believing in yourself is a major key player in projecting confidence.

Understand That Nothing Is “True”

Nothing is true.

This means that everything you’ve ever learned is only someone’s opinion. And can be tested.

Obviously, there are some exceptions to this. Like Gravity. Gravity is definitely there.

But the reason having this perspective is so powerful is because when it comes to subjective conversations like which color is the best, or which movie is the funniest, you will be able to put your own opinion on something at the same level (or even above) that of others. And this projects massive confidence to the people around you.

Creating A Deeper Voice To Increase Your Social Status At School Quickly

Believe it or not, your voice plays a huge factor in how people perceive you. And contrary to popular belief, you can actually make your voice deeper if you want to.

While there are many techniques, tips, and tricks to getting a deeper voice, the 3 biggest things are going to be caring less, breathing deeper, and trying to talk in a slightly deeper voice than you normally do. I’ll touch on all of these things briefly.

Caring Less To Get A Louder Voice

A lot of people can’t talk loudly in public. Have you ever wondered why?

The reason is because of status.

The people that can’t talk loudly in public think of themselves as low status, and are afraid that if they talk loudly in public and draw attention to themselves, the high status people will come and kill them. Which, obviously, is an out-dated biological mechanism.

So how do you talk louder in public and in friend groups?

By practicing and caring less what people think.

You will notice that when you go to public places, you may talk very quietly. This means you have some “low status” in you and are afraid people will judge you for speaking your beliefs loudly. This is something that you need to shake out.

The easiest way to do this is by going to places like grocery stores, coffee shops, and events and speaking to people there in a louder-than-average voice. And keep practicing until you get louder and louder. It will be tough at first, but you will get better.

Breathing Deeper For A Deeper Voice

This one is simple. Just sit down, and start taking the largest “stomach breaths” that you can. This means that you will want to take breaths that gradually increase the amount of air you can exhale. The more air you can manage, the deeper your voice will be.

Start Talking Deeper

The quickest way to a deeper voice is by talking deeper.

And while your voice may not be the deepest around, we all have “levels” to our voice that people can tell if we’re talking on the higher side of our vocal range or the deeper side. You always want to be talking on the deeper side.

Practicing this day in and day out will eventually expand your vocal chords and allow you to talk in a much deeper voice than you ever previously could. This was something that worked tremendously for me.

Increase Your Social Status At School Quickly: Putting It All Together

Throughout this article, you’ve learned that to increase your social status at school quickly, you need provide value to higher status people and exhibit high status behaviors.

Although all of this is important, nothing may be more important than you simply deciding that you want to be more high status. Your teachers can’t make that decision for you. Your mom and dad can’t make that decision for you. Your friends can’t make that decision for you.

It is completely up to you to learn the skills you need to become a high status man and live the life you know that you’re capable of living.

Nobody is going to save or do it for you.

The time is now.

If you liked this article, check out this free training on how to date more beautiful women.

Tags how to increase your social status at school

Online Dating

How To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl Over Text (Actual Text Convo Breakdown)

Post author By Grant Greene
Post date May 19, 2020
4 Comments on How To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl Over Text (Actual Text Convo Breakdown)

Here is exactly how to keep a conversation going with a girl over text.

In this article, I don’t just want to give you a fish and send you on your way. Instead, I want to teach you how to fish so you can catch fish for the rest of your life.

In terms of how to keep a conversation going with a girl over text, this means that i’m not going to give you pre-scripted lines to keep the conversation interesting. Instead, I’m going to give you a formula that I personally use to keep all of my conversations engaging and moving forward.

And this formula is AJRM.

Using The AJRM Formula To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl over Text

AJRM stands for Acknowledge, Joke, Response, Move it forward. And this simple formula is the key to keeping a conversation going with a girl over text.

The reason it is so powerful is because it puts into words what guys who are naturally good with girls do when they are talking to them.

When I am actively using this on a girl, I am not thinking about it logically while I do it. I am simply trying to have a fun conversation with the girl, say a few things that are “off-the-wall” and flirty, and give her a memorable experience through text. The key is you want the conversation to be FUN.

Let’s break it down right now:

Acknowledge – This is when you simply acknowledge what the girl said by either sympathizing or empathizing with her or making a joke out of what she said.

Joke – This is when you introduce something into the conversation that keeps it lighthearted and fun.

Response – If she’s good at texting, she will usually say something to keep the conversation going as well. This is when you respond to that. It is usually beneficial to respond to it with something true and factual about yourself so you can begin to build some rapport with her.

Move It Forward – The easiest way to continue the conversation is to ask questions that you think she would ENJOY answering. This is when you need to get out of your own head and ask her questions about things that you think SHE would find important. Here is a quick example of AJRM in action. This is the first conversation after I moved it to text.

Here is it in action.

(Opener is me punning her name from “YASS QUEEN”. Also my bio said something about me loving brunch so that is why she made the brunch comment)

Her bio said “I LOVE MUSIC” which is why i said “since you’re a big music girl”. You can use the environment to forward conversations often. Also note how a joke was made from nothing, the “omg leik…” thing, and it was used simultaneously to forward conversation by asking her type of music she liked.

Here I’m telling her I’m glad she doesn’t like something (judging) and sarcastically asking her what is wrong with her. Very playful here. She also calls her ears tiny and this gives me something to go off of.

I wanted to send her a zoomed-in screenshot of her tiny ears but hinge doesn’t let you send screenies, lol. Also some cocky humor here by saying “I know I’m super fun to talk to” and making the joking assumption that I am the reason for her procrastination. Girls love playfulness like that (when they know you are kidding) because it also conveys status. if they don’t know if you’re joking or not you can come off as an ass.

She goes with me assuming I’m the reason for her procrastination. Here is when I start asking about logistics and trying to figure out where she lives to see if us hanging out could happen. Side note: I could have also playfully roasted her for the typo she made (which i didn’t do). Below that, I am “testing the waters” and seeing how interested she is in me by telling her to basically “get riding” on her bike. The response she gives to me from that statement that basically says “ride your bike to me” will let me know where her and I stand at the moment romantically. If she responds well, I move forward. If she responds poorly, I say just kidding.

She is being very playful which I really enjoy. I continue calling her “bb”.

Another version of “testing the waters” with me saying she can come over and cuddle. It is a joke without being a joke, and her response to it will let me know how likely she is to accept advances from me if I keep moving it forward. This is key. She is also obviously super cool (and interested).

This is when I explicitly tell her I hope she’s serious because we have been joking the entire time. I said this because I want to make the joke become real. She then explicitly tells me she’s into it and gives me her # without me asking for it while also being self-conscious about the type of vodka she will bring, which I thought was cute. I then make a pun with the vodka name (absolutely) and then move it onto text.

You can see through the entire conversation that i’m obviously joking and keeping it playful. And if you look closer, you can see that I am basically inviting her to join me in the playfulness. When she goes along with it, we exchange a few joking texts about a certain topic and I consciously choose not to move it forward with a question so I can get her a little more invested in the conversation. Then, when that topic has been joked about, I will move the conversation forward by asking questions like “Are you living in x or x” or making assumptive, flirty statements like “If you were living in x I’d say u better get riding bb” (as in she should ride her bike to see me).

It is this combination of playfulness, paying attention to who is investing more, and moving things forward that will make you successful when keeping a conversation going with a girl over text.

Some Conversations Will be Destined To Go Nowhere

Although, as the guy, you will usually have to be the one pushing the conversation further at the beginning…

Sometimes the girl just won’t have anything interesting to say. And that is okay.

If the girl continually responds with short, boring messages, and isn’t investing anything of value into the conversation, then it is in your best interest to just cut the conversation off and move on. Is that really someone you want to be with anyway?

Part of finding the right girl is finding an available girl. And if she’s not available enough to hold a decent conversation, then maybe it’s time you jump to someone else.

“Fake Joke Worlds” Are A Great Way To Infuse More Fun And Excitement Into The Conversation

I’m not sure if there are a name for these things so I’m going to call them “fake joke worlds” for the sake of the article.

“Fake joke worlds” are essentially when you create some type of fake reality that you and the girl are both in, over text. One example of this is me telling the girl above that I secretly stalked her for the last 10 years because we actually went to the same middle school (which we didn’t, this was all a joke).

Me saying something like this gives the girl the opportunity to play along (and she did) by saying that she remembers me as the scrawny kid that always had a thing for ears. Does any of this make any sense? No. But is it fun? Yes. And that’s the point.

“Fake Joke Worlds” Will Change Your Dating Life

Using fake joke worlds often will legitimately change your dating life for the better because they can turn any conversation into something fun at any moment at all. This helps you avoid fizzling conversations (for a period of time) and will allow you to keep a conversation going with a girl over text. Until you choose to end it, that is.

Knowing When To End The Conversation Is Key

Secondly important after keeping the conversation going with a girl over text is knowing when to end the conversation with a girl over text. This is massively important.

The reason knowing how to end a conversation over text is important is because you will protect the “fun guy” persona that you have created while also keeping your status as a high status guy. Let me explain.

All conversations will eventually die out. Because our energy is finite. The key isn’t getting a conversation to go on forever, the key is actually knowing when and how to end the conversation to preserve your status with the girl while also leaving her wanting more. I go much more into depth on this topic on my exclusive email list but will cover some basics here.

Here are 3 times when you want to end the conversation:

When you have already solidified yourself as a fun, high-status guy and she is chasing you
When she agrees to hang out with you at some later time
When the conversation is beginning to fizzle out

If any of these 3 things happen, your best move is to simply take one more step forward (by asking for her contact information or planting a seed to hang out) and then ending the conversation. This is extremely important if the conversation begins to fizzle out, because if it does, the girl will forget the fun conversation your previously had and now associate you as the boring conversation guy. Which you don’t want.

Losses Will Be Inevitable

There will be conversations you initiate that will go nowhere and die out. This is completely normal. The key is trying to understand when you could have done better, and when the girl is simply unresponsive. In sales there is a saying called “you can’t sell someone who doesn’t want to be sold”. Dating is the same way.

If she is a dry wall to talk to, then just cut your losses and move on to someone else. Chances are, you wouldn’t want a boring girlfriend anyway. (And yes, I know some of you still would, weirdos).

When a girl is unresponsive, try saying something off-the-wall and trying to initiate a fake joke world with her, and if she doesn’t buy in, then don’t take it personally. Just move on.

Let me say that again:

Don’t take it personally. Just move on.

You will be glad you did.

If you are interested in dating coaching or world-class dating advice delivered to your inbox, visit stepbystepdating.com or apply for my exclusive email list here.

Dating

Should You Make Out On The First Date? Here’s Your Answer

Post author By Grant Greene
Post date May 18, 2020
1 Comment on Should You Make Out On The First Date? Here’s Your Answer

Let’s answer the age-old question:

Should you make out on the first date?

The short answer is yes, if you can. Because if you are a good kisser, it’s only going to serve you well.

But if you’re not a good kisser, or you get rejected, it could lead to an awkward ending.

Get Good At Kissing First

If you’re wondering if you should make out on the first date, you want to also make sure that you’re actually good at kissing first.

Your kissing skills are often a make or break for women. Meaning, if you’re good at it, it’s a really good thing for you. And if you’re bad, it could quite literally kill your chances with a girl.

The truth is, the only way to get better at kissing is to do it often. So even if you’re a terrible kisser, making out on the first date can be viewed as some practice that will serve you well in the future. Even if it’s bad.

The Pros And Cons Of Making Out On The First Date

There are pros and cons (although much more pros) to making out on the first date. Here we will a highlight a few of them.

Pro #1: Builds Comfort Quickly

Making out with a girl on the first date will build a lot of comfort with her really quickly. This means that relationships that begin on an early makeout tend to blossom much quicker than relationships where the couple waits multiple dates for the kiss. Which only makes sense.

Pro #2: She Will Be Invested

Making out on the first date also gets a girl invested in you as a person. There are most likely many guys that she has been on dates with that she has never kissed. There are more likely guys in her life that she has never kissed. Making out with her on the first date separates you from these other dudes and puts you in a unique category of men that she has made out with (especially if you make out on the first date).

Pro #3: Major Bonus Points

In multiple different places. You will get bonus points for being confident and going for the makeout in the first place. You will also get major bonus points if you are a good kisser. As I said before, being a good kisser is going to be one skill that will dramatically increase your chances of getting repeat dates. Its importance cannot be understated.

Pro #4: She Will Tell Her Friends

And then you can date them too.

Just kidding.

Sort of.

The Only Con: Your Chances Will Be Shot If You’re A Bad Kisser

There really aren’t any cons when it comes to making out on the first date. Unless you’re a bad kisser, that is.

If you make out with a girl on a first date and it’s absolutely terrible because it’s your fault (not hers) then your chances on getting a second date will be very low if she is a woman of quality.

But on the other side of the coin, there are situations where you will go on dates with girls and they are the ones who are bad at kissing. If this happens, then your kissing skills won’t really matter too much because she simply doesn’t know what she is doing. So if you’re a bad kisser, find a girl that can’t kiss either. Lol.

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

The location of your first date will be an extremely important factor in whether or not you should make out on the first date. I’ll go a little more into this later, but will cover some of it now.

If you two are in a more private setting, then making out will not be out of place and may even be expected. But, on the other side of the coin, if your first date is somewhere public in a well-lit area (like a coffee shop) then going for the first make out will be a little more difficult at that location. But you can always move locations.

Moving To A More Intimate Location For The Make Out

Sometimes the first part of your date will be somewhere where a make out would be out of place. I would recommend not scheduling your date in a place like this in the first place, and would recommend that you schedule your date somewhere like a lounge or nice bar. This will allow you to be close together, experience good music, and have a low-light situation.

But, if you either didn’t read this article or can’t help scheduling your first date at a place where making out isn’t weird, remember:

You always have the option of moving the date to a new location.

One of the biggest mistake guys make is letting the location of the date affect their results. If the location becomes boring, simply go somewhere else.

Not only will moving the date to somewhere else give you something to do and help your make out situation, but it will also get the girl invested in you a little bit more by seeing that you are someone who is safe (and changes locations without doing anything weird or getting lost) as well as her simply spending more time with you.

Testing The Waters: The Key To Avoiding Rejection

“testing the waters” “heat checking” and “trial closing” are all terms for the same thing: seeing how interested she is in kissing you.

Testing the waters allows you to send signals to her and have those smaller signals get rejected before you get rejected for the actual kiss.

Even though getting rejected for a make out on the first date isn’t a death sentence for future dates, you can avoid it completely by testing the waters and having your smaller gestures shut down before you go for the make out.

How To Test The Waters And Make Out On The First Date: Reject & Retreat

Every time you make a step forward with a women, you want to constantly be making her feel comfortable.

Once you successfully make a step forward – meaning you’ve reached a new level in the relationship (such as not touching to touching, not hugging to not hugging, or not kissing to kissing) – you will basically have “climbed that part of the ladder” and can continue moving forward.

“But Grant, how do I know if I made a step forward?”.

It’s simple. To know if you made a step forward, you simply go one step further than you have in the relationship and then gauge her reaction. If it’s positive, you made it. If it’s slightly negative in any way, then you’re not quite there yet.

What To Do If you Catch A “Mini-Rejection” Leading Up To The Makeout

Leading up to the time you make out with her will be a bunch of steps.

The steps are usually:

Talking
light touch
heavier touch / some hugging / arm around her
kissing

Each time you move from one step to another, the girl will give you feedback in the form of her facial expression, tone of voice, and body language. Although this sounds complicated, it’s not. Once you make a move, you will know if she likes or not. Go with what your intuition tells you.

If she gives you a negative response, then you are going to use something called the “reject and retreat”. All this means is that if she gives you a bad response to something you do, simply make a joke about it, move on like nothing happened, and then try again in a little bit once you’ve built some more comfort with her.

If a girl likes you, then she will obviously want you to make a move. The problem is, a lot of girls will either be afraid that they will be perceived as a slut or will simply be uncomfortable with you making the first move until you build a little more comfort with her. So build some more comfort. I’ll teach you everything you need to know about building comfort here.

What Does it Mean If You Make Out On The First Date?

For most people, making out on the first date isn’t too big of a deal. Meaning, for a lot of people, when they make out on the first date, the simply think “wow that was a really good date. I want to see them again”. And that’s basically the extent of it.

Where a lot of newbie dating guys go wrong is getting their first make out on a first date and start thinking that they are immediately boyfriend and girlfriend. This is not true.

Although making out on the first date WILL speed up the physicality in the relationship, it does not necessarily speed up the process of commitment. It is important to understand that just because you made out with a girl on a first date, that does not make her your girlfriend. It just brings you both one step closer to sex.

When Should You Make Out On The First Date?

It has been my experience that if me and the girl are in a semi-private place, it will be rare that I won’t make out with the girl in the middle or towards the end of the date.

When it comes to making out on the first date, location matters.

Meaning, it will be much more difficult (usually) to get a girl to make out with you in the middle of coffee shop than it will for her to make out with you in a dimly lit corner of a lounge, where you two are sitting side by side.

The more private and dimly lit the scene, the easier it will be for you to make out with her on the first date. Keep this in mind.

Should You Make Out On The First Date Summary

The summary of “should you make out on the first date” is basically yes, if you can.

Making out with a girl on the first date will only add to all the good things that will get you closer to being in a relationship with her (if you are a good kisser, that is). And the downsides – even getting rejected for the make out – are very little when compared to the upsides if you do everything correctly.

Tags should you make out on the first date

Dating Status

How To Get A Side Chick | The Easy Way To Get A Side Chick

Post author By Grant Greene
Post date May 17, 2020
No Comments on How To Get A Side Chick | The Easy Way To Get A Side Chick

Getting a side chick is easier than you may have previously thought. IF you have the right girl, that is.

Some girls will despise being the side chick. And do everything they can to either make your commit or to break things off.

But for every girl like that, there are a bunch of other girls who are ready and willing to be the side chick. The key is to find the girls that want to be the side chick, and incorporate them into your life in a way that works out for both of you.

Here’s how to get a side chick.

What Is A Side Chick?

There are a lot of definitions for what a side chick is. Many involve the guy having one main woman and actively dating another on the side. But I want to go one step further.

My definition of side chick also includes a girl who is hooking up with a busy guy. This is a guy that is focused on work as his main priority, but wants to unwind either after work or on the weekends without the emotional baggage that comes with a bad relationship.

With this new definition of side chick, we can begin to see that a side chick is simply a girl you hang out with that has a “matching schedule”. Meaning you’re not officially dating, but you both make time for each other and see each other when it’s convenient for both of you.

A Lot Of Women Want To Be A Side Chick

Believe it or not, a lot of women aren’t looking for a full-blown relationship. And will be happy to be your side chick.

Finding a woman like this is key. Because if the girl doesn’t want to be a side chick, you will be fighting an uphill battle.

If you begin “side-chicking” girls that don’t want to be your sidechick, then you will basically be putting off the inevitable explosion for a period of around 3 months. And then, when the 3 month mark comes around, she will begin to get attached and ask you to be something more. Or act it out.

Then, when you say no, she will begin to get slightly resentful. And all of a sudden you’re in something that is as emotionally draining as a bad relationship.

It is important that you are up-front and honest with your non-committal ways so she knows what to expect. And if being a side chick isn’t something she wants, do not lie to her and tell her that you guys have a future together. Simply respect her decision and move on with your life.

Where To Find Side Chicks

The best place to find your next side chick is going to be either Tinder or bars. Tinder is known as the “hook up” app and bars are where you will find more wild, socially-open girls who will be in their “have fun phase” and not their “settle down phase”. This is great for you if you want a side-chick.

Find Your Side Chick On Tinder

If you decide to go on Tinder to find your side chick, do yourself a favor and spend some time making your profile presentable. The large majority of guys will put virtually 10% effort into their profiles. So when you actually make an effort, you will stand out above the rest. You want to get high quality pictures and at least one picture with a dog (more preferably a puppy).

If you don’t currently have high-quality pictures, simply ask a friend or post a craigslist ad saying you need pictures done and they will be a great piece for a new photographer’s portfolio. You will get many responses if you do it correctly.

Finding Your Side Chick At A Bar

If you choose to find your side chick at a bar, find a friend to go out with you. Having a wingman that is moderately good at approaching women will speed up the process of finding a side chick by a lot.

When you’re hitting on these girls at the bars, you are going to want to be very “man to women” and say things that are flirty and slightly risky.

By doing these types of things early, you will position yourself as a guy who is fit for a causal, side chick type relationship and not a guy who is destined for the friend zone or boyfriendom.

Avoid Boring Conversation At All Costs

This goes for both in text and in person. Bounce between cocky / funny humor while also sharing vulnerable details about your life when necessary.

The only reason a girl will be okay with being your side chick is if you the value you provide to her (usually in the form of fun) is worth maintaining the relationship.

With that being said, it is crucially important to always keep the conversation fun and interesting, and when it begins to die out, to cut it off before it fizzles. Here is a quick guide on how to text girls.

Let Her Know You’re Not Looking For Commitment Up Front

One of the worst things you can do is lie to the girl you’re talking to.

One thing you want to avoid at all costs is “selling the girl the dream” and then not committing to her after you’ve promised her the world.

Instead, let her know right away that you’re not really looking for anything too serious, and if she’s cool with that, you guys can have a great time. But don’t tell her that she has a chance to lock you down and then drag her on. This is bad.

How To Set Boundaries With Your Side Chick

When you have a side chick (or multiple) it becomes extremely important to set boundaries and have clear expectations for the relationship.

All of my side chicks have basically been side chicks to my work. Meaning, work was my #1 priority. I would work all day, not text them, and then either text them a little bit in the evening or spend some time with them on the weekend. In this situation, a side chick is great because you still get some companionship without boxing yourself in to the emotional commitment of a full-blown relationship.

Setting boundaries means thinking about, deciding, and communicating your expectations / standards.

One example of setting a boundary could be telling your side chick “I am going to be working most days so I won’t be able to text you until after 6pm during on weekdays”.

Telling her this puts the expectation in the relationship that you’re not going to be texting her during the day – which helps you focus on work and also helps you avoid boring or fizzling conversations. You can create the type of relationship you want, and then find a girl that is okay with the type of relationship you’ve created.

What To Do When Your Side Chick Catches Feels

It has been my experience that a side chick will “catch feels” about 3 months in. This means that the 3 month mark is about the time when they realize either “oh, he actually doesn’t want to commit”, or they start getting mad at you for doing things like hanging out with your friends or working on the weekends.

It is important to note that some women will initially agree to the side chick relationship with the intention of converting you into a boyfriend. Be very aware of this. This usually starts with them getting mad at little things you do, trying to get you to change, and then waiting for you to comply. When you start to feel pressure from the girl to change, it is time to take a step back and really evaluate if the relationship is going in the direction that you want it to.

Converting Your Side Chick Into A Girlfriend

On the flip side of the coin, you may actually find yourself in a situation where you want to make your side chick your girlfriend.

This can be a difficult situation because if you show too much interest and get too “clingy”, your side chick may actually become less attracted to you if a boyfriend isn’t what she wants.

The easiest way to make a side chick your girlfriend is to start actually treating her more like a girlfriend without really saying anything. This may mean that you stay with her longer, cuddle with her more, or invite her to a meal / walk / another date-type hangout.

You can also start calling her “bae” or “bb” and test the waters. If she doesn’t really say anything, then chances are she is comfortable with the idea of you becoming her boyfriend. If she really doesn’t want a boyfriend, and you hit her with “bae” or “bb”, the girl will usually cut it right when it begins. If that’s the case, don’t push too hard on the boyfriend thing. She probably has a few other guys she’s talking to and doesn’t want to limit her options. Keep her as your side chick and find someone else to date.

What you don’t want to do is explicitly ask her “I like what we have and I think we should go exclusive. Do you want to?” without any warning or signals. If you come too far out of left field with that, she will get a little spooked and will reconsider what the entire relationship has meant to you. She will also begin to wonder if you were only playing a character and acting fake. Instead of explicitly asking her, test the waters by treating her more like a girlfriend. Then see how she reacts.

If you need more information how to get a side chick, feel free to check out this free training or join my exclusive email list.

Dating Status

She Stopped Texting Me Out Of Nowhere | How To Revive Her Love

Post author By Grant Greene
Post date May 15, 2020
No Comments on She Stopped Texting Me Out Of Nowhere | How To Revive Her Love

“She stopped texting me out of nowhere” is something every guy has said at least one in his life.

The truth is, nobody knows what’s going on in the mind of the girl you’re talking to. But when she’s not texting you back, it’s because she has other things in her life that are higher priority than sending you a text.

So what do you need to do?

Make yourself higher on her priority list.

I’m going to show you how.

But first, here’s what not do.

Don’t Text Her And Ask Why She Didn’t Text You Back

I feel weird even putting this in the blog post, but I’ve seen it happen. Some guys will literally text the girl “why didn’t you text me back?”.

Doing that will kill it. Instantly.

Why?

Because it shows neediness. And it shows you care too much.

Do you think the guy that has 8 girls begging for his attention cares if one of them doesn’t text him back?

Nope. He barely even notices.

And this is how you need to start thinking if you’ve ever though about sending a “why didn’t you text me back” text.

Don’t Keep Texting Her With Other Questions Or Updates On What You’re Doing

If she suddenly, stops texting you, the worst thing you can do is continually follow up with bad, attention-seeking text messages.

If she stopped texting you out of nowhere, you’re going to want to analyze the situation and have a gameplan for reviving it. Did you just begin talking? Have you been talking for a while? Do you have mutual friends? Etc. All of these scenarios will add to the situation, and should be considered when planning your revival.

That being said, simply throwing more messages at her like asking what she’s doing or sending something you noticed about your day is only going to dig you deeper in the hole.

If she stopped texting you, you have a value issue. And texting her again and again that same day isn’t going to raise your value in her eyes. In fact, it will do the opposite.

Don’t View Any Of Her Social Media Posts

If she stopped texting you out of nowhere, don’t view her social media posts. You want to starve her of your attention and validation.

Way too often, guys will be left on read and then immediately click on her snap or instagram story just to see what she’s doing. This is a bad situation to put yourself in.

These girls check who is viewing their story religiously. And if she hasn’t texted you back and sees you’ve viewed her story in the first 30 seconds, she’s going to think you’re a guy that’s not doing anything interesting and are someone she could easily get. Remember, she wants a challenge. Give it to her.

If she stopped texting you out of nowhere, you are going to want to actively avoid watching, liking, commenting, or interacting with any of her social media. Leave no trace of your presence. And once she sees that you have no interest in seeing what she’s doing, she will be slightly more interested in resuming your text conversation.

Now here’s what to do.

If She Suddenly Stopped Texting You Out Of Nowhere, Social Media Stories Are Your Best Friend

If she suddenly stopped texting you out of nowhere, your stories are going to be your best friend. The goal is to post something really interesting that you’re doing that says “I don’t care whether you text me back or not. I’m gonna do me, sweetie”.

Girls are a master at doing this. I will literally text a girl for multiple weeks in a row without her posting anything on social media. And then if I just happen to not text a girl back for whatever reason, she will “just happen” to post something on her story during the time that I wasn’t texting her. This has happened more times than I can count.

A lot of the best attraction techniques are actually going to be used by women on you. Try and think about why what they did made you want them, and then use those tactics for yourself.

That being said, when she doesn’t text you back, one of your best plays is going to be posting something cool on your story. Preferably you DOING something cool with your friends.

A large majority of the time, the girl will see you doing something cool and will either watch your story or respond to it.

If She Responds To Your Story, Don’t Reply Right Away

Once you get better at posting cool stories, you will notice that girls who were on the fence with you will begin to reach out to you more and more.

When this happens, the best thing you can do is conceal your feelings and act like you like her less than you actually do.

This means that when she responds, wait to send a response. And when you do send a response, make it something short like a devil emoji or winky face.

Sending a short response will put you in a good position for when you send the next message. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a girl DM me responding to my story, I respond with one emoji, and then either she texts me later in the week to hang out or I initiate a conversation – that she is happy to be in – that also leads to us hanging out.

But the key is how good your stories are.

If You Don’t Have Her On Social Media, Send a Joke / Gif A Couple Days Later

Posting on your stories is by far the best way to build your value and get back into a conversation with her. But if you don’t have her added on social media, then you’re going to have to play the longer game.

When she suddenly stops texting you out of nowhere, your best bet is to wait at least 2 days to reinitiate the conversation. The reason being is that she may just been busy and forget to text you. If that’s the case, she’ll text you the next day apologizing.

But if you don’t hear from her the next day, then you’re going to want to text her the day after that (2 days from when she stopped texting you) and send her something funny with a GIF. The key is to start a brand new conversation and initiate it with value in the form of playfulness and humor. That is your best move forward if you can’t social media your way to success.

Additional Tips On Keeping Your Value High When She Suddenly Stops Texting You

If she suddenly stops texting you out of nowhere, you’re going to be caught in a status-centered balancing act. The key is to hold your power.

Here are some quick-fire tips to make sure you revive your situation in the quickest way possible:

Don’t reach back out to her and ask why she didn’t text you back
Don’t keep texting her with questions or updates on your life
Don’t reach out to her on another platform
Post cool, valuable stories to your social media accounts as much as possible
Wait 2 days before you contact her again via text. And if you do, make the text FUNNY and provide some sort of value in the form of humor, playfulness, or entertainment
Be okay with her not texting you back. Don’t dwell on it. Get your skills up and find other girls.
If she doesn’t respond to your revival text, move on and keep posting great stories.

And if you need any more help, feel free to visit stepbystepdating.com or send me an email at grant@stepbystepdating.com

Attraction Dating Online Dating

How To Pursue A Woman Step-By-Step

Post author By Grant Greene
Post date May 13, 2020
No Comments on How To Pursue A Woman Step-By-Step

How to pursue a woman step-by-step.

If you’re a man, chances are you’re going to have to pursue a woman at one point or another.

Thinking over my life, I’d estimate that 80-90% of the women I’ve been with, I have pursued. And that same percentage of women gave me some sort of “diffculty” – in the form of shit tests or flakiness – while I was pursing them.

If you really want to know how to pursue a woman, you’re going to want to cultivate the perfect balance between showing interest in her while also conveying non-neediness. This means that you want her to think “he’s high value and I could maybe get him, but he could walk away from this without any issues if I do something wrong”.

How To A Pursue A Woman The Right Away

Let’s first start off with what we want to accomplish when pursuing a woman.

When pursuing a woman, we obviously want to get physical with her, right?

But in order to do that, we need to first convey to her (during out pursuit) that we are someone she would be happy getting physical with. AKA someone who’s higher value than her.

In order to do this, we need to pursue her persistently (to make sure we are taking up space in her mind) while also conveying as little non-neediness as possible. Although it is impossible to convey 0% non-neediness while we pursue her (because the act of pursuit itself would by definition show that we want something from her) we can still come across as a high-value man who has chosen to pursue this woman from a place of abundance. Meaning that we have a lot of other options to choose from.

That being said, you don’t want to explicitly tell her “I have a lot of other women to choose from” although even that would be WAY better than showing her any neediness through saying something explicit like “I like you”.

Instead, you’re going to want to drop subtle hints (like taking some time to respond to her texts, not getting offended when she shit-tests you, and saying things that create sexual tension) that show you’ve been through all of this before and you’re not too willing to put too much energy into one woman.

But you need to balance this laid-back, don’t-really-care-what-happens mentality with an alpha-like, results-over-everything mindset. And this is where persistence comes into play.

The Differences Between Persistence And Neediness When Pursuing A Woman

When it comes to how to pursue a woman, persistence is often necessary, while neediness will shoot you in the foot.

Persistence conveys interest to the girl and makes her feel like you are choosing to talk to her specifically instead of your other options, while neediness conveys that you lack other options and will be devastated if she doesn’t like you.

The easiest way to avoid non-neediness (the most unattractive trait to women) is to make sure that you are 100% okay with walking away from the situation if she either doesn’t like you or doesn’t treat you well. One easy way to achieve true non-neediness is to always keep in mind that there are literally billions of women on this planet, and there will always be someone just as attractive as her (if not more attractive) that will be happy to treat you well.

So if you can give her the vibe that you would be perfectly fine without her, but that you do actually want her…

That is when your pursuit will have it’s highest chance of success.

You Will Most Likely Be The One Texting First For A While

Even if you have an amazing first conversation, chances are that you will be the one texting her first the large majority of the time. That is, until you reach what I call the “hook point” or the moment that she stars investing back into you.

That being said, once you get really good at leaving first impressions either in text or in person, you will be able to simply give a girl a really good time, not text her for a couple days, and then have her reach out to you because you conveyed a high level of non-neediness while also being a lot of fun to be with. AKA very high-value.

But until you reach that level, you will most likely be pursuing a girl over text. And when you do, you’ll usually be texting first.

How Often Should You Text A Girl When You’re Pursuing Her?

The short answer is as often as it takes for you to succeed.

A large majority of my pursuits have only lasted a couple days to a week. I will usually meet a girl somewhere on a Friday night, text her over the weekend with long breaks between responses (because I am usually doing things with my friends) and then on Sunday night, set something up for later on in the week in an extremely informal manner like “we should get drinks on Tuesday”.

During your pursuit, the way you text a girl is extremely important. I have a complete “how to text a girl” guide right here. But a quick summary is that when you’re texting her, you’re going to want to spike her emotions both negatively and positively.

The Strategy Behind Texting A Woman When You Are Pursuing Her

The key to texting a woman where you’re pursuing her is to be interesting and unpredictable. This means that you want to compliment her without putting too much effort into your compliment – like saying “ok ms. ocean eyes” instead of “you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in my entire life” – while also disagreeing / disapproving of things she says while mixing in some teases as well.

This is another fine balance to walk because you don’t want to be too positive and complimentary but you also don’t want to be too negative and mean.

If you are too positive and go too hard on the compliments, she will think you’re the nice guy that she knows she can have. But if you’re too negative and mean, you will be the bitter asshole that she doesn’t want to talk to. You want to be a healthy, playful mixture of both.

Think Of Yourself Like A Slot Machine

Why do people get addicted to slot machines?

Because they are unpredictable. And put people through a wide range of emotions.

If people knew they were going to lose every single time, they would never play slot machines. Because they would instantly get bored. But on the other side of that, if they knew they were going to win every time – minus the money part, obviously – they would get bored as well.

In the same way, you need to balance the “feel good” emotions you give her – like compliments – with “attraction building” emotions. Saying things to the girl like “you’re too dangerous, I’m not sure if this will ever work out between us”.

When To Stop Pursuing Her And Move On If She’s Flaky

Sometimes when you’re pursuing a girl, it won’t work. And this is okay.

Knowing exactly when to “cut the cord” is another hard thing to balance because once again, it’s all about walking the line between persistence and neediness. You will get better walking that line over time.

The best way to determine when to stop pursuing her is when you experience continual diminishing returns over a period of time. This means that you’ve reached out to her one or two times and have heard nothing back. If this happens, it’s probably a good time to move on to the next one.

But with that being said, you may experience a girl who is into you over text but is flaky when you ask her to hang out. In this case, it may be worth it to continually talk to her and build up your value in her mind without asking her to hang out every weekend.

In this situation, your best play is usually to text her every once in a while with value-providing texts, send her pictures of you doing really cool things, and then invite her to something that you were going to do anyway, saying something like “my friends and I are doing this, you should come”. This is better than directly asking her because even if she says no, you still keep your value.

But, if you’re getting continual no’s when you ask her to hang out, then you are probably fighting an uphill battle. And at that point, the only way to save yourself is to revive attraction using social media.

How To Indirectly Pursue Her And “Reignite The Fire” If You Realize She’s Not That Into You

Sometimes when you are pursuing a woman, she won’t be into you. Don’t take it personally. Just try and evaluate the situation, see if you could have done anything better, and then move on emotionally.

One of the biggest mistakes guys make is lingering on rejection for too long. It is literally impossible to determine which one of 7,000,000 factors caused her to not engage with you, so instead of trying to figure out her reasons for doing so, just reflect on what you think you did wrong and move on. It’s not a big deal.

But with that being said, there is sometimes a way you can revive it. And that is by showing that you’re a really cool guy through social media.

The Best Way To Attract Hot Girls Is If They See You With Hot Girls

But if you don’t have really hot girls around you, you can portray a really cool life over social media. That will give you some social proof as well.

If you can get the girl you are pursuing to add you on snapchat or instagram, then you can post stories of your life that she can see.

Once she watches it a few times, you will be moved to the front of her feed. And this will allow you to stay on the forefront of her mind while also showing her all the cool stuff you do with your cool friends.

If you do this correctly while giving the girl a chance to reach out to you – such as posting controversial opinions on culturally relevant things like “shake shack is way better than in n out burger” – you will begin to see that these girls will often slide into YOUR DMS and comment on your stuff. Even if you guys left off on kind of a weird foot.

And the more you do it, the better you’ll get. That’s how to pursue a woman.

If you liked this post, and need more world-class dating advice, visit stepbystepdating.com or apply for my exclusive email list.

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How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say | The Ultimate Guide

Post author By Grant Greene
Post date May 11, 2020
3 Comments on How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say | The Ultimate Guide

Welcome to the ultimate guide on how to never run out of things to say.

Imagine being able to pull out the perfect thing to say at every moment with ease. How would you relationships improve? How would your self-confidence improve?

Warning: The advice in this article might shock you. And it may even challenge your current belief systems. All I ask of you is that you read this article with an open mind, and implement some of the techniques I’m going to share with you immediately so you can form field-tested opinions of your own.

So if you’re currently nervous, scared, or downright anxious to talk to people because you think you’re going to run out of things to say…

Or you don’t really trust yourself to say the right things or to come off as “smooth” when you need it most…

This guide on how to never run out of things to say is for you.

The Brutal Truth On How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say

It’s not what you’d expect, so get ready…

The brutal truth on how to never run out of things to say is this:

What you say doesn’t matter. It’s how you say it.

Now before you close out the article right now and send me spam emails accusing me of being an anti-vocalist, I want to really nail this point home:

The words you say are only about 10% of the equation. What’s MUCH more important than what you actually say is how you actually what you’re saying and how much belief you have in yourself that your own words are worth hearing.

Let me say that again.

What’s MUCH more important than what you actually say is how you deliver what you’re saying and how much belief you have in yourself that your own words are worth hearing.

Never Running Out Of Things To Say Starts With Your Self-Worth

Well that went 0-100 pretty quickly, didn’t it?

You bet it did.

But for good reason.

The reason we just skipped all the foo-foo stuff and went straight to the root of the problem is so you have a fighting chance at actually curing this disease of vocal ability for yourself forever – instead of simply covering it up with bandaids and ignoring that there’s an actual problem.

The reason it is so difficult for you to come up with things to say is simple:

You are valuing other people’s opinions over your life and your passions more than YOU value YOUR OWN life and passions.

With that in mind, running out of things to say isn’t a problem that you can just fix all by itself. Because it isn’t a problem all by itself.

Instead, running out of things to say is only a SYMPTOM of the bigger problem which is your current low self-esteem. But the good news is, you can fix this.

The Cure To Running Out Of Things To Say Is The Same Cure As Writer’s Block.

And that’s by one simple technique:

Lowering your standards.

To be quite frank, I think writer’s block is a fluke. A myth. A lie.

Take these articles for example. I can write a 3,000 word article – which most people would consider a “massive” post in about an hour and a half. And I never have to deal with writer’s block. Ever.

But how do I do it?

Well, before I tell you, I want to also mention that when I discovered the key to eliminating writer’s block forever – I also accidentally discovered the key of never running out of things to say. And I became an instant hit with women because of it (which is not a bad side effect to have).

The reason that lowering your standards will cure both your writer’s block and running out of things to say is because the problem isn’t actually “running out of things to say”. Nope. The REAL problem is “running out of things to say that you think other people will find valuable”.

And that’s the key.

When writer’s can’t put words on a page and claim they have fallen victim to writer’s block, what they are really saying is that “I can’t write anything I think people will like”. And because they are scared of social rejection, the stifle themselves.

But, tell a writer who’s suffering with writer’s block to put 500 really bad words on a page, and they can knock it out in a matter of minutes.

So from this, we can conclude that…

The Problem Isn’t The Words… It’s The Value We Place On Our Own Words.

In the same way as the writer’s block example, we can take someone who feels as though they are always running out of things to say and tell them to say 100 stupid words or they will be shot in the head.

Although a wildly dramatic example, that person with a gun to their head could riff off 100 stupid words within a matter of minutes. Albeit, the may or may not make much sense. But that’s okay.

Because again, it shows us that the problem isn’t the words themselves. It is instead how we are actively stifling our own expressiveness because deep down, we fear social rejection.

So how do we cure it?

The Key On How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say: Really Bad Practice

This may sound like the most counter-intuitive thing you’ve ever heard in your life. But the key to never running out of things to say ever again is to practice putting into use your “lowering your standards” muscle.

I call it a muscle because it is something that you will progressively get better at over time – although you can cure yourself of never running out of things to say extremely quickly.

And once you begin to practice and get it figured out, something crazy will happen. You will begin to experience moments in a conversation when things start “slowing down” for you. And you’ll notice yourself becoming much more witty in real time.

And to top it all off, once the conversations really start slowing down for you, that’s when you’ll REALLY be able to start dropping super witty comebacks and cry-till-they-laugh punchlines on people when you want, and where you want. People will be at your social mercy.

But you need to pratice.

Go Talk To 10 People And Actively Try To Say The Most Random Things Possible, But Say Them With Conviction And Passion

People are bored. And the truth is, they will listen to you – no matter what the topic is – if you can speak with a certain level of passion and conviction.

A great exercise you can do is by going to a public place (after quarantine, of course) and just striking up a conversation with random people. Shoot for 10 in a day. And during these conversations, you’re going to want to say the most random things possible while still having them hold a regular conversation. The reason for doing this is so you can see that people don’t really care about what you say, it’s how you say it.

When I meet someone new, I will often jump topics at an ADD-like level. This does a couple things for me.

#1 – It ensures that I will never run out of things to say. Because instead of talking about one or two topics, I am bringing up dozens of topics in a matter of a few minutes.

#2 – It keeps people engaged. People love watching things that are unpredictable and full of passion. While talking, I will get “angry” or “sad” about trivial things like me not having enough creamer or in the morning or my favorite sock getting a hole in it. The point is, you want to convey as many emotions as possible.

Genuine Questions About Somebody Are The Key To Them Doing The Talking For You

I once met a woman at a bar and began talking to her. Two hours later, we exchanged contact information, she gave me a kiss, and she told me I was an amazing conversationalist. But here’s the thing:

All I did was ask like 5 questions. She did the rest.

Everyone you talk to will have things they genuinely enjoy doing and are genuinely passionate about. Just like an excavator digs up bones from the ground, if you dig up topics that the person you are talking to loves by asking questions, they will never shut up.

In the case of the girl I mentioned above, I asked her why she was sitting alone and she said her friends just left but she wanted to finish her drink because it was her first time out in a year.

Being the naturally curious person that I am, I asked her why in the heck she hadn’t gone out in the last year. And she told me it was because she had just finished a research project for her hospital and had no free time during it. I asked what project she was doing, and she lit up like a lightbulb and went off. All I did was listen to her speak and give her positive feedback for speaking, saying things like “WOW”, “that’s awesome” and “really?”.

The 3 Magic Responses That Get People Talking Forever

These responses are so insanely powerful that when unleashed, will get people talking forever. Sometimes literally.

The key with these responses is that you have to thing of them as rewards. People tell you something about themselves, you reward them with a positive response. If you keep doing this while making them feel comfortable for sharing, they will keep going.

The 3 magic responses are the ones mentioned above. “WOW!” “That’s Awesome!” And “Really?”. With these 3 responses, and a continual curiosity about the other person, you will have a winning combination.

Here’s an example:

Me: Hey did you know I really love spoons?

Stranger: What?

Me: I love spoons. If my house was about to burn down, and all I had was a small sandwich bag to take things in, I would bring my 3 favorite spoons. Are you a spoon guy or a fork guy?

Stranger: Probably a fork guy. I pretty much eat two foods: Pasta and Salad.

Me: WOW! Really? Are you Italian?

Stranger: No definitely not Italian. I just really love that combination, and get too lazy to make anything else lol

Me: I feel that. Why are you in this park?

Stranger: Oh my wife is over there looking at paintings. We went to the Amazon for a couple weeks and she’s been really into it. I went and looked at the leather wallets. In fact, I just bought this *pulls out wallet*.

Me: WOW! That’s Awesome! Why the hell did you go to the Amazon?

Stranger: Well it’s a pretty crazy story…

See that?

They just keep going.

Genuine interest goes a long way.

It’s All About Conversational Width, Not Depth

If you talk about one topic with someone, you’re going to run out of things to say eventually. Jump topics often.

The best way to guarantee you never run out of things to say is by jumping topics consistently. There will be many times during a conversation where I will completely shift the conversation to a completely unrelated topic with a very curious, i-want-to-know-how-you-respond-to-this-question type of tonality and facial expression.

Here’s an example:

Me: What’s your favorite drink?

Girl: Vodka soda!

Me: Omg that’s the most basic of them all. (conversation jump) Were you raised in the hills?

Girl: Yeah, I actually was. But that’s not why I like vodka soda! I just hate the taste of alcohol…

Me: But you can still taste the alcohol in a vodka soda, lol. (double topic Jump) Are you cutting calories? Are you trying to be an Instagram model?

See how those topics were slightly related, but not really?

It’s jumps like these that keep a conversation fun and engaging. Practice them and you will become a pro.

Cut Yourself Off To Keep Things Interesting

One technique I often use when I am talking to someone new is cutting my own stories off and then immediately starting other stories. The best to avoid having nothing to say is to keep talking. You don’t have to end a story just because you start it.

The reason this is effective is because not only will it keep things interesting by constantly bringing up new topics, but when and if things get dry, you can say “oh right and…” and then continue finishing the story that you never actually finished.

Here’s an example:

So I went to the store the other day, and there was this giant lime. Like a lime the size of no other lime you have seen before. (story jump) And that reminds me, I once went to this small hole-in-the-wall boutique because I needed a last minute gift for my best sister, and all they had was this horrifically ugly lime-green purse. I ended up buying 3 as a gag gift, and she ended up keeping all of them. LOL. Anyway, I was considering what to do with this giant lime and then I remembered that my friend CHAD texted me about a margarita night as his house. (Story Jump) CHAD is literally the craziest guy ever. One time he filled his entire bathtub with sand sharks and named all of them Pablo Jr, #1-#15. He then gave them little hats and entered them into a race. (Story Jump) Have you ever seen a shark race before? They have these crazy ones in Australia where people will actually bet on their chosen sharks. It’s like an underground gambling ring that for some reason, nobody ever talks about.

See how that works?

You can literally just keep jumping stories and continue talking forever.

And again, the best part is, if things start getting a little dry, you can be like “Now what I was saying about the lime was…” and go back to older, unfinished stories.

How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say Checklist: Putting It All Together

Here is a quick checklist for how to never run out of things to say:
It doesn’t matter what you say. It’s how you say it.
Believe that everything you say is amazing.
Value your own opinion above everyone else’s.
Ask genuine questions and have a genuine interest in other people.
Give them good responses with good facial expressions to encourage them to talk.
Find a topic they enjoy and watch them go. Be able to relate to topics you aren’t extremely familiar with.
It’s about width, not depth. Bring up a lot of different topics in a short amount of time.
Put emotion into everything. Don’t just tell someone how your toothe paste fell off of your toothbrush. Tell them how devastated you were that you couldn’t have that perfect dash of paste stroke your pearly whites.
Practice having “bad” conversations where you aren’t putting any pressure on yourself.
State your own opinions confidently and be ready to pleasantly disagree with people on occasion.
Change topics often to keep things interesting.
Cut your own stories off to keep things interesting and give yourself a fall-back if things go dry.
Be okay with jumping illogically from topic to topic with confidence.
Just go do it.

And if you’re ready to master your dating skills or take your charisma to an entirely new level, feel free to visit stepbystepdating.com or apply for my exclusive email list here.

Attraction Status

Daygame | The Ultimate Daygame Dating Guide

Post author By Grant Greene
Post date May 10, 2020
No Comments on Daygame | The Ultimate Daygame Dating Guide

If you’re wanting to meet more cute girls, there’s one specific skillset that, when mastered, will transform your dating life forever:

Daygame.

Daygame – in a nutshell – is the act of talking to women during the daytime with the intent of either getting their contact information or going on a date with them that very same day. It’s a lot of fun.

But being more than just fun, daygame is also an essential skill to have if you want to build up a rotation of beautiful women that will allow you to choose your next girlfriend from a place of options and abundance instead of scarcity and limitation.

Guys Put Too Much Pressure On Themselves During Daygame

A lot of guys put way too much pressure on themselves during daygame.

Some guys get insanely nervous, don’t know what to say, and freak out about every little detail. It’s really not that big of a deal.

Instead of freaking out about daygame, it will suit you better to take a more laid-back approach. Because when you make it less of a deal, it will become one.

It’s key to boil daygame down into these two key principles:

#1 – Understand you won’t be bothering people by talking to them. Everyone wants to meet cool people.

#2 – You’re going to need to bring some value to the women you’re talking to in the form of humor or entertaining stories. If you can’t tell good stories or tell a good joke, practice. It’s not difficult to get a little more expressive with your tone of voice, hand gestures, and face gestures. Give yourself permission to be more expressive.

Daygame Openers

The large majority of men who struggle talking to women always want to know that “one perfect thing to say”.

The truth is, it literally doesn’t matter what you say. It’s how you say it.

I’ve had girlfriends in the past that i’ve opened with sentences like “dolphins aren’t real” or “Starbucks should be a bagel company”. Those make absolutely no sense.

But does it matter?

No.

The reason it doesn’t matter is because the words are only about 10% of the equation.

When it comes to attracting women, what’s even more important is what I call the “life energy” that the guy can be perceived as having. The more masculine “life energy”, the better.

For more info on how to build up your masculine “life energy”, apply to my exclusive email list. I will be going more in-depth on this topic in a later article.

It’s Not About The Daygame Opener. It’s About Trust.

Trust in yourself, that is.

The key to successful daygame is having a deep trust in yourself that whatever you need to say will come to you in the moment, when you need it.

It’s about lowering your expectations and just going into it with a creative, “I don’t really care what happens but we’ll see what happens anyway” mindset.

If you can get yourself to a place where you genuinely don’t care if you succeed or not, and are just going to see how it works out, then you’re on your way to becoming successful.

Here Are Some Daygame Openers Anyway

Being able to talk to women in an unscripted manner is obviously the best way to go about it. But that being said, there are a couple different styles of openers you can use.

The “I’m super pumped and am going to have an amazing night” daygame opener:

This one is effective because not only does it open up a conversation, but it also conveys attractive qualities like being a guy who gets things done, who has friends, and who is a non-threat because he is in a great mood. Opening by just telling someone a story is a great way to start a conversation.

This opener would go something like this:

“Hey my friends and I literally just finished this huge project we’ve been working on for the last couple months, so i’m pumped. And tonight, we’re going to celebrate. Nothing will stop me from having a blast with my friends and family. Where would you go if you were going to have the celebration of your life?”

Then she’ll tell you where, or say I don’t know. Either way, you’ve opened.

The Environment Daygame Opener

This one is pretty straightforward, and one I use very frequently.

For the environment opener you just ask a question about something in the environment (while smiling and having good energy) and then continue the conversation from there.

At a coffee shop it could be as simple as asking her what she’s reading or doing on the computer. At a library it could be asking why one book has a terrible cover yet is being highlighted on a platform in the main spot. The list is endless. The point is to strike up a conversation but asking a simple question around you.

The “Cool x” opener

This one is very simple as well, and can be used on something you can tell the person is trying to make a statement with. Things you comment on could be anything from a crazy bag, scarf, or shirt…

To a unique piercing, tattoo, or hairstyle.

Again, this one is extremely simple, and stresses the reality that what you say doesn’t really matter. What matters is how you say it.

Back in college, there would always be girls reading outside in the grass. When I saw a cute one, I would usually go up and say something like “Hey my friend is running late again so I wanted to tell you that you had a Cool blanket. What are you reading?”.

The “my friend is running late again” comment in this situation is very important because you want her to know that you’re not going to stay forever and ruin her day.

That way, if the conversation is bland, you can always leave and say you’re going to meet your friend. But if the conversation goes well, you can always take her on an insta-date somewhere else and tell her that you’re bailing on your friend because he’s so late and that he would understand.

The “5 Year-Old Test” To Cure Running Out Of Things To Say

Think about if you were talking to a 5 year old.

Would you care what you were saying to the 5 year old? Would you have trouble telling the 5 year old stories or making the 5 year old laugh?

Probably not. Because they are 5, you don’t really care what they think. So you put no pressure on yourself.

In the same way, you need to bring that “i don’t really care” feeling that you have when you’re talking to a 5 year old into your daygame approaches with women. Because it’s that “i don’t really care what happens” mindset that will free you up to be funny and socially aware.

Put less pressure on yourself, be okay with being awkward and mumbling at first, and practice anyway

Daygame Mindset

Mindset is going to be the most important aspect of your daygame success. You could be terrible at everything, but if your mindset is serving you appropriately, you will succeed.

When it comes to having a mindset that will actually work for you in daygame instead of working against you, it is important to look at the two most important parts of your mindset that need to be fixed.

Limiting beliefs
Poor perspectives that need to be reframed

The reason these things need to be fixed is because you need to take action to get results. And if you aren’t currently taking action, then it is because you are telling yourself things that are stopping you from taking action. And these are the things you need to identify and “fix” by updating your belief system and perspectives.

Daygame Limiting Beliefs

There are a lot of limiting beliefs that guys have when it comes to success in daygame. Some of the most common ones I have seen in my own clients are:

They believe they are bothering people by going up to them
They believe they need that “perfect situation” for them to talk to a stranger
They feel like they need that perfect thing to say to get a girl’s instagram or to go on a date with her that same day

And these go on and on and on forever (literally).

The key to improving your daygame (before you even start) is by setting up counter-arguments to the beliefs that are currently holding you back, and then believing in those new beliefs more than you believe in your old beliefs. Here’s on an example:

Old belief: I am bothering people by going up and talking to them.

Then you ask yourself why. Why is this belief in place?

Well, why do you feel like you will be bothering people?

The short answer is because you don’t think they will value what you have to offer.

Would you feel bothered if Brad Pitt went up and started a conversation with you?

Would you feel bothered if the women of your dreams came up and started a conversation with you?

No, you probably wouldn’t. Because they had something of value to offer you. Make sense?

So the new belief becomes this…

New belief: People will only be bothered by people approaching them If the person approaching brings no value to the table. Because everyone wants to meet more cool people, and less weird people.

Do you see how that worked?

Instead of us continuing our entire lives with the belief with that we will be bothering someone if we go up and talk to them…

We questioned that belief. And learned that “Oh. Everyone DOES want to meet more cool people. So all I have to do is provide some value when I go up and talk to them.

But how do you create value when you talk to a person for the first time?

There are two ways. And one is actually a short cut.

How To Create Instant Value In Daygame Conversation

There are an infinite number of different ways you can create value for the person you are talking to so they will be interested in you. The 3 easiest ones are by being funny, telling engaging stories, and showing a genuine interest in something they are interested in.

If you go up to someone and have them…

laughing until they cry about a joke you told them
on the edge of their seat listening to an extremely engaging story you’re telling
Or going into very in-depth detail about things they love to do and why they love to do them…

You will be successful.

But here’s the crazy part…

You can actually short-cut the whole providing them value thing by just simply implying your value and having a very boring conversation.

Both work. But the latter is for a later article. If you’d like to learn more about how to imply your value, just apply to be on my exclusive email list here.

Daygame conversational control

When you’re doing daygame, you are going to eventually learn how to control the conversation like a master.

Some people might here the term “control the conversation” and think of it as a bad thing. But controlling the conversation is actually the best thing you can do for both yourself and the person you are talking to. Here’s what I mean:

I first learned how to control the conversation at my old sales job, when I was selling insurance to old people.

When I would get these old people on a sales call, my goal was simple: To get them on the best insurance policy for them based on their needs.

And because I knew where I wanted the conversation to go – which was them buying insurance from me – controlling the call became as simple as me making sure we were always heading in the right direction conversationally. I’ll go a little more in depth on this right here – because this is extremely relevant to daygame.

This is what me “controlling the call” looked like:

I knew my goal was to sell them the best insurance policy for them based on their needs. But in order to do that, I first needed to actually know their needs. So I started asking questions to get them talking about how they use their insurance and how their experiences have been so far.

The only problem is, sometimes relevant conversation – like them telling me how they currently used their insurance – quickly turned into irrelevant conversation like how their Grandson Jimmy hates jalapeno-cheddar bagels due to his cheese allergy.

When this would happen, I needed to quickly become aware that what they were telling me about their grandson wouldn’t do anything for us in terms of getting them better insurance. So I would have to move the conversation back onto something that actually “moved things forward” for both of us. I’d have to control the conversation and get it back on track.

I could do this by saying things like “Nancy, wow, that really was a crazy story. Hopefully he avoids those cheesy bagels. But in terms of helping you avoid what you’re allergic to, have you had any bad reactions to the prescriptions you’re currently taking?

Then we were back on track.

This is extremely important in daygame because people you talk to will sometimes turn conversations to boring, dead-end topics without knowing what they are consciously doing – like politics or the weather.

When this happens, it’s extremely important to become situationally aware of what is going on, and gently move the conversation towards something more interesting that will allow you to get either her instagram, or take her on a date that very same day.

Daygame Logistics + Situational Awareness

When I was selling insurance, I needed a client to have a few physical items available to them for me to actually sell them an insurance policy – their debit card and something to write with.

If they didn’t have their debit card or anything to write with, then it didn’t matter how pumped I got them on their new policy or how much they trusted me. Because without those two things, I literally couldn’t close the deal.

In the same way, people you talk to in daygame will have logistical limitations such as a mandatory business meeting in the next 20 minutes, or they may only be visiting and will be leaving the country the following day.

To avoid wasting your time, you will need to actively figure out their current situation as fast as possible.

In order to get the most efficiency out of the time you spend doing daygame, you are going to want to find someone’s logistical situation out as soon as possible. This means learning where they came from, why they are at the place they are at now, and where they will be going in the future.

Knowing these 3 things will allow you to decide whether you want to get her Instagram, take her on an instant-date to some place down the street, or just have a very brief conversation, say your goodbyes, and move on to the next set.

Daygame Outcomes: Instagram or Insta-Date?

There are two main outcomes you can go for when daygaming: contact information or going on a date on the spot (AKA an Insta-date).

If you want to achieve each of these outcomes, you’re going to have to have someone agree to what you want them to do. And the easiest way to do this is by proposing an option to them with the least amount of friction possible. Make it as easy as possible for them to say yes.

This means that instead of asking a girl for her phone number right away, you can ask for her instagram (or facebook if she’s older) and that will give you a much higher chance of success due to it being much lower pressure.

In the same way, if you find out that the girl has nothing going on for the day and ask her to get a smoothie with you 2 blocks away, you will have a much higher chance of succeeding than asking a girl who only has an hour of free time to get a full-blown lunch with you at your favorite restaurant 20 minutes away. Make sense?

These things matter.

And although this sounds like common sense, I want to state it anyway:

If she’s in a rush to get somewhere, has plans soon, or doesn’t seem super interested, ask her for her instagram name and add her. If she’s not doing anything and is showing a lot of interest in you, ask her for the instadate. If she says no, ask for her Instagram as a backup then leave on a high note.

The reason insta-dates are so good is because not only will she likely be happy you are giving her something to do, but there is also the chance for it to lead to something more that very same day. I have had many instances where I have met a girl one place, taken her to another place, and then she has invited me over to her apartment that same day. Once you get your dating skills up, this will become common.

Daygame: Dealing With Friends

A lot of the time a girl you want to talk to will be with her friends. While a lot of guys would see this as a bad thing, this situation can actually help you build attraction much more than if the girl were by herself. IF you do it right.

The friend brings a lot of new variables to the situation, and you need to make sure that at the end of the interaction you have the friend saying “You should go out with him!” instead of saying something like “I don’t know I don’t like him”. There are a few principles that will help you do that.

#1 – Be just as interested in the friend than you are the girl you want to talk to.

Some guys will completely ignore the friend. And this is bad daygame.

There are 100 reasons why it’s bad to ignore the friend but the simple reason is because if you ignore the friend, she won’t be on your side. And if she’s not on your side, she will give her friend 1000 excuses as to why she shouldn’t be talking to you, and why they need to hurry up and keep walking where they were walking.

If you are genuinely as curious about the friend as you are in the girl you want to talk to, you will be successful.

Using The Friend To Build Attraction

One daygame technique that I have found to work pretty well is if you actually show more interest (at first) in the friend than in the girl you actually want to exchange contact information with. A lot of the times the friend won’t be as attractive as the girl you want to talk to, so by giving her 90% of the attention, you are going to make the other girl wonder why her friend is getting all of the attention, and she’s not.

But whether you talk more to the friend or the girl herself, the point is that you want to win the friend over. And get her to be vouching for you by the end of the set (or at least don’t upset her).

Daygame: dealing with groups

Larger groups are usually more common in bars / clubs than when when out and about during the day. But even so, you’ll run into them every once and awhile.

The only way to find success when it comes to approaching large groups is to just assume you are already part of the group and engage with everyone.

Logistics is especially important with this type of approach because you will want to know how everyone knows each other, where they came from, and what they are doing later. All of this information will be helpful if you are going to attract one specific girl in either a large group of girls or a large group with a mix of guys / girls. I will be posting a longer article on this specific topic later on.

If you need any more questions answered, or need help on any other aspect of your dating life, feel free to either visit stepbystepdating.com or apply to my exclusive email list.

Attraction Dating Status

How To Get A Girlfriend In College (Completely Step-By-Step)

Post author By Grant Greene
Post date May 6, 2020
No Comments on How To Get A Girlfriend In College (Completely Step-By-Step)

How to get a girlfriend in college, step by step.

College is a great time for us as guys to start building up our dating skills.

There’s just something about the massive amount of free time, overbearing loneliness, and huge sea of fish to choose from that makes college a great time to master your dating & attraction skills before you enter the “real world”.

But with that being said, a lot of guys i’ve coached have carried with them the belief that college is only for hookup culture. And this just isn’t true.

While it is true that there IS a large hookup culture on campuses, there is also a huge relationship culture as well. And believing that you will actually be able to get a girlfriend is the first step to actually getting one. Stop holding yourself back with limiting excuses.

There are literally (most of the time) tens of thousands of people around you, and the chance that someone attractive is either at your school or somewhere around it who also wants a relationship is very high.

And even if you’re in a little tiny itty-bitty college, there are still going to be hundreds of options to choose from. Point being, if you’re making the size of your school an excuse, stop. You are only arguing against your own success.

The 3 Main Reasons Why Guys Can’t Get A Girlfriend In College

There are three reasons why guys can’t get a girlfriend in college:

Their ability to meet more people sucks, their attraction skills suck, or their ability to move things forward with women sucks.

Being attractive to women, learning how to meet more people, and learning how to move things forward with women are skills that you can learn and get better at over time.

And just like how if you’ve never lifted weights you won’t have large muscles, if you’ve never practiced getting a girlfriend, you’re probably going to be bad at it. And that’s completely okay.

Why?

Because everyone sucks when they start. I did as well. But by just going for it, you will learn from your mistakes and eventually land a girlfriend you really like.

And I’ll give you that blueprint right now, step by step.

P.S. If you’re interested in personal 1-on-1 coaching or world-class dating help, feel free to visit either stepbystepdating.com or apply to my exclusive email list.

Let’s get into it.

Step #1: Figure Out What Type Of Girl You Want As Your Girlfriend

The first step is to figure out what type of girlfriend you think you want as your girlfriend.

Do you want a girl that loves to party and drink? Do you want a girl who’s a book nerd? Do you want a girl who’s always working out? Do you want a girl who’s into business?

Choosing what type of girlfriend you want will be the first step in being able to find her.

Why?

Because once you know what type of girlfriend you want, you will be able to actually find her by asking yourself questions like “where do I think this type of girl will be during the daytime?” “What does she do / wear on a Friday night?” “What does she do on her weekends?” Etc.

The answers to these questions obviously don’t have to be “perfect” or even “correct”… it is simply to help you get an idea of where she might be so you actually have a chance of locating her and engaging in a conversation with her.

Once you know who you want as a girlfriend – which could simply be someone of a certain attractiveness level – you are ready for the next step.

Step #2: Spend 2-5 Minutes A Day Visualizing You Meeting & Dating Her (EXTREMELY IMPORTANT)

Once you think you have an idea of the type of girl you want, you are ready to move onto this next step and actually find her.

But before I show you how to find her, I first want to give you another quick step that will make you 500% more successful if actually applied.

And stay with me here for a second, because this step might be a little weird to you at first.

You’re going to want to visualize yourself with your next girlfriend.

This means, as weird as it sounds, that you’re going to take 2-5 minutes every day (it doesn’t take long at all) and really imagine how it will feel when you go up and talk to her, she likes you a lot, and then you guys begin dating soon after. Really get into it.

“But Grant, why am I supposed to do this weird foo-foo stuff? You said no foo-foo stuff?”

The reason you are going to do this is to put your subconscious mind to work for you.

Our subconscious mind controls more than we can ever imagine. And by visualizing yourself with your next girlfriend, you are going to begin the process of being the type of guy that can actually attract her.

Remember: DO NOT skip the visualization step. It is massively important.

And once you build visualization into your daily routine at least once a day, you are ready for step #2.

Step #3: Learn How To Meet More People In College (And Get A Girlfriend Out Of It)

You have two options for meeting and talking to your next girlfriend:

Cold approach or social circle.

Cold approach is when you start up conversations with girls you don’t know in any type of environment (class, the gym, the library, the grocery store, etc). And social circle is when you meet a girl through some type of social network like your friend group, a club, rec activity, job, etc.

If you really want a girlfriend, you will need to put some effort into getting good at one or the other (but preferably both).

Remember: these are both skills you will need to learn at some point in your life, and nobody is born knowing how to do it. Once you learn these two skills you will have them for the rest of your life, and will never be worrying about getting a girlfriend ever again.

I’ll break each one down.

Why Cold Approach is So Powerful (And How To Get Really Good At It)

Cold approach is so powerful because when you develop the skill of cold approach, you will be able to talk to cute girls anywhere, anytime.

This allows you to meet girls any any type of environment and take advantage of the serendipity that is involved in you two being at the same place at the same time. (GIRLS LOVE SERENDIPITOUS STORIES).

When you’re doing cold approach, it is important to keep these few things in mind:

You will not be bothering people by going up to them and talking to them, because everybody wants to meet more cool people
If someone is a little cold to you, don’t worry about it because that is not someone you would want as your girlfriend anyway. Would you really want a girlfriend that was mean to strangers? Hell no.
50% of the girls you talk to will already have boyfriends. That’s okay. Just keep approaching enough girls until you can collect 10-15 instagrams.
Always ask for their instagram or snapchat and never their phone number. This will improve your success rate tremendously.
That being said, girls are going to judge your instagram. It will be a make-or-break for them. Put some effort into getting some high-quality pictures on your instagram and even buy a couple thousand followers if you need to.
Getting a girlfriend is a numbers game. If your cold approach is not working, just keep going while being okay with “being uncomfortable”. And force yourself to do more cold approach. There is not a single guy out there who has done 100 cold approaches and doesn’t have a girlfriend. Keep going.
Always keep in mind that you’re one spec of dust among 7 billion floating on a planet in a solar system of billions of other planets. You going up and awkwardly talking to a girl IS NOT A BIG DEAL. Just do it, bro.

Here’s An Easy Cold Approach Script You Can Use To Get A Girlfriend In College

Cold approach is much easier at first if you have a script you can fall back on.

Do you eventually want to get to the point where you can relax during the conversation and just use your natural intuition to keep the conversation going? Yes.

but I do understand it can be difficult at first, so here is a basic script you can use. If you want this as a PDF, or want any other scripts for thousands of other dating and texting situations, apply to my exclusive email list and I’ll drop fuego in your inbox for the rest of your dating career.

The Easy Cold Approach Script

Imagine you see a girl you think is cute while you’re out and about.

You’re going to first ask her about something around you, then if you’ve seen her at your *cool thing you’re already doing*, and when she says no, say “weird, you have a doppelganger out there. Well, thanks for the help. What’s your insta?” And then pull out your phone, get her insta, and then say “cool, bye (place where you met her) buddy”.

Here’s how it will usually go. Let’s say you see a girl walking to glass and you like to play music. You can also always go one step further and have the “maps” app pulled out on your phone as well, lol.

*You see a girl walking to class and you go up to her*

You: Hey excuse me, I’m trying to find the stoneridge building. Do you have any idea where it’s at?

Girl: Yes I do! It’s right around the corner near the gym.

Girl: Uhh no I have no idea. I’m a first year. Sorry!

This is when you ask her if you’ve seen her somewhere and tell her a quick story about how you do cool things (or just make one up about you doing cool things). The point is to convey that you’re a guy who is already regularly doing stuff with his friends.

You (if she says yes): Cool, thanks. This is random but do you have class in the music hall on Tuesdays? Our band finishes up around 2 and I swear i’ve seen you walk by us as we’re on our way to get some smoothies.

You (if she says no): No worries. This is random but do you have class in the music hall on Tuesdays? Our band finishes up around 2 and I swear i’ve seen you walk by as we’re on our way to get some smoothies.

Her: Uhh probably not, I never go over there.

You: Oh, weird. You have a doppelganger out there. Anyway what’s your insta? I’m trying to gain followers so I can look cool for my parents.

Her: For you parents? haha what! It’s yourfuturegirlfriend69.

You: Haha it’s a long story. But cool, I’ll add you. Cya insta buddy!

Easy.

Make sure you practice the script before you try it. And then make sure practice cold approach without a script.

How To Meet Your Next Girlfriend In College Through Social Circle (And How To Build One)

The second way you will be able to meet your future girlfriend is through your social circle.

One thing to keep in mind is that nobody is born with a social circle. Social circles are built.

This means that if you want friends – and a girlfriend – you need to go out and make things happen. Nobody is going to make friends or get a girlfriend for you.

There are a few different ways you can build your social circle. The ones that worked the best for me in college were:

By joining a group, club, recreational team on campus, etc.
By getting a job at a popular coffee shop / club / library
By finding a “hub” person (someone who has a ton of friends and invites people out to stuff often) and then making friends with them and leaching off of their social circle
Cold approaching a bunch of girls and guys and then inviting them to do things with you in group settings or individually

The reason using a social circle (or making your own) to meet your next girlfriend is a good idea is because not only will you dramatically improve your own social life and get better at moving things forward with people – but you will also have fun things to do with people who share your interests. Which, therefore, will eventually lead you to getting a girlfriend once you know how to move things forward romantically with women (which is the next step).

The most important things to keep in mind when it comes to growing your social circle are these:

#1 – Constantly invite individual people to things you are already doing (like going to the gym, eating, going for drinks, etc) to build deeper connections with them. You are going to have to actually form connections and hang out with the people you are meeting.

#2 – Do not judge who you bring in to your social circle (at first). This is massively important. You can not build a “perfect” social circle from the ground up the first time. Understand this. You need to first build a less-than-perfect social circle (full of people you may not want necessarily want as long-term friends) and then once you get to that point you will be able substitute them out for higher-quality people. But when you are beginning, find someone sort of cool without judging them too hard, invite them to something, and build connections.

Once you have a social circle, people will regularly come in and out of it. One of these people will be your next girlfriend (once you learn how to move things forward romantically).

Step #4: Learn How To Move Things Forward Romantically With Women

Once you know how to meet people, you will need to know how to move things forward romantically with women.

Again, this is a skill that needs to be learned. And if you’ve never done it, you will not be good at it at first. And that’s okay. Just do it, no matter how awkward, and then do it again a little bit better.

What Does Moving It Forward Mean?

Moving forward with women means going to the next step.

Examples of this are going from strangers to people who text, from people who text to people who hang out, from people who hang out to people that kiss, from people that kiss to people that have sex, and from people that have sex to people who are in an official relationship. Each one of these transitions is an example you moving it forward romantically with a woman.

You can think of each “stage” with a women as a rung on a ladder. And at the top of the ladder is you being in a relationship with her (aka her being your girlfriend).

In order to get to the top of the ladder – and have her become your girlfriend – you are going to have to climb the steps. And each time you climb a step, you are going to get one step closer to where you want to be.

I would recommend practicing this process as much as possible so you can get really good at it really quickly. This will allow you to get over the awkward stage fast and get a girlfriend even faster.

There are two principles you are going to need to keep in mind when you are learning to move things forward with women and climb this ladder.

#1 – It is going to be awkward at first. Again, that’s okay. Do it anyway and you will get smoother over time.

#2 – You will be making the first move 99% of the time. Don’t assume the girl will ever make the first move.

With these two principles in mind, you will be able to climb the ladder and eventually make her your girlfriend.

How The Ladder Plays Out In Real Life

These are the steps of the ladder that I went through to get a girlfriend in college.

Step 1 – Meet girl

Step 2 – text girl

step 3 – invite girl to drinks or to come over

step 4 – kiss girl when she’s over the first time we hang out (or have sex if she is down)

step 5 – keep having sex

step 6 – If we are compatible, ask her to be my girlfriend

It’s really that simple.

Biggest Questions Guys Have When First Learning To Move Things Forward

How Do I Know When To Kiss Her On A Date Somewhere?

There is no “perfect time” to kiss her. At first you will have to just judge how interested she in in you, and when you feel like she is into you, make the first move while being semi-uncertain how it will go. Once you do it more and more, you will get better at it. Becoming good at kissing is massively important when it comes to dating.

If you guys are having a really really good first date, you can just look at her, smile, and then lean in and start kissing her while on the date. I would recommend doing this if you can. She will be down if you guys are having a blast. I personally don’t like saving the first kiss for the “goodbye” portion of the date, as it is much more comfortable if you two can begin making out while you’re actually on the date.

How Do I Know When To Kiss Her When She’s At My House?
If she ends up at your house, she is obviously interested in you. Which is good. If you guys are having a lot of fun, make the first move and kiss her. If she has any issue with it (99% of the time she won’t unless you’re a really bad kisser) then just say something like “Jokes on you, I didn’t want to kiss anyway” and continue having a lot of fun with her while acting like nothing is wrong. Remember that it’s really not that big of a deal.

How Do I Move Things Forward Towards Sex?

The first obvious step is to get the kiss. If you are kissing her, and she likes it, then there is a good chance she will be willing to have sex with you if the chemistry is there and she’s in a place in her life where she’s ready. (If she’s at your house kissing you she probably is).

The easiest way to initiate sex is by simply rubbing her legs a little bit while you’re making out with her then working your way up to her HOOHAW. Once hand meets HOOHAW, rub.

The reason this is the best way to initiate sex is because if she doesn’t want to have sex or is not ready, she will simply grab your hand and move it away from her HOOHAW if she doesn’t want to. If she moves your hand, she is simply not ready to have sex with you, which is perfectly okay. Some girls won’t be. If this happens, just keep making out with her like nothing happened, have a really good night with her, and then see her again and repeat the process some other time. No big deal.

When Do I Make Her My Girlfriend? And How Do I Do It?

Well, we basically made it to the last step. Actually making her your girlfriend. But when should you do it? And how?

The short answer is “when it feels right for you”.

Usually the “should we go exclusive and enter into a relationship” conversation comes up 2 weeks to 3 months after two people that are both looking for a relationship start having sex regularly.

The truth is that some girls won’t be looking for a relationship in college. And will only want a “friends with benefits” type situation. If you come across a girl like this, do not try to convince her to be your girlfriend. Accept where she is at in her life and understand you can not make her wanting something she doesn’t. If this is the case, you will need to find another girl who is ready.

But, if she is open to having a boyfriend – and you guys have been smashing for a while – then you can start “testing the waters” by doing things like calling her babe or calling her “my girlfriend” and seeing how she reacts. If she reacts positively, you can say something like “I think you are super cool and want to date you exclusively. We should be boyfriend and girlfriend” and she will be like OMGGG YAAASSSS!!!

And then you will know how to get a girlfriend in college. And will be happily in love forever.

The end.

P.S. If you’re interested in personal 1-on-1 coaching or world-class dating help, feel free to visit either stepbystepdating.com or apply to my exclusive email list.

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How To Talk To A Girl In Class (Completely Step-By-Step)

Post author By Grant Greene
Post date May 5, 2020
No Comments on How To Talk To A Girl In Class (Completely Step-By-Step)

You’re a fine gentleman wanting to know how to talk to a girl in class.

Alas’ my friend, you’ve come to the right place.

Does this sound like you?

There’s a cute girl in your class. Which is Awesome.

And you really want to talk to her. Even awesome(er).

The only problem is, you know deep down that if you mess it up, well, you’ll still have class with her. Which will be really, really awkward. So you’re left wondering…

I’ve been there. It’s not fun.

But i’ve also successfully turned girls in my classes into long-term girlfriends.

And that IS fun.

So to help you avoid a potentially awkward situation, i’m going to give you my best tips for talking to that girl in your class (and even getting her to like you.)

Because let’s be honest…

You don’t just want to talk to her.

You want to have a relationship with her.

And you know the best way for you to do that is to actually talk to her in a way that doesn’t make it awkward for the rest of the term, right?

It’s like a love sneak attack.

So let’s get into it.

Step #1: Plant The Seed That You Exist

Depending on your class size, you might be surrounded by hundreds of other people. If that’s the case, you’re going to need to plant the seed that you exist. AKA say something to her to initially break the ice.

Do NOT go up to her if you’ve never spoken to her before and start asking her things like “Where are you from, what do you like to do, how are you today, etc”. Because if you bring that boring conversation to the goddess in the 3rd row, she’s going to leave you BURNED.

Instead, you’re going to have to understand that this girl in your class knows absolutely nothing about you. So if you just walk up to her and start asking her boring questions, she’s going to immediately know that the only reason you’re talking to her is to get her number. Which in this case is bad, because she’ll be like “why is this guy trying to get my number without just directly asking me for it? And why is he holding me in a conversational prison?”

And then it’s game over.

Instead, do this:

The Best Way To Plant The Seed That You Exist

Before class gets out, figure out where she’s sitting. And when the bell rings – or when the class ends – start exiting the room near her and begin walking close to her. You want to create the “I’m just randomly asking you this because you happen to be next to me” effect.

Once you just oh-so-happen to be walking right next to her while everyone is leaving the class, you’re now going to want to ask her (as you’re walking out of the room with everyone else) something about the class that she probably won’t know the answer to. Because if she doesn’t know the answer, the conversation will be extremely quick. Which is a good thing right now.

One of the openers I ended up using pretty frequently when I would just “happen” to walk up beside her was asking “did you actually get notes on the x part? It was literally spanglish”.

Then the girl would look over and respond by say something like “No I didn’t get that either, lol”. And then I would say something like “Yep. I’ll never watch (youtube / instagram stories / tiktok) cat videos in class again”. Then I’d just walk away.

But why does this work as step #1 for how to talk to a girl in class?

Becoming The “Funny Guy That Doesn’t Care Whether People Like Him Or Not”

The reason it works is because you are offering value to her (by making little jokes like calling it spanglish and saying you’ll never watch cat videos in class again) without asking her to do anything or wanting anything from her romantically.

Doing this also drops subtle hints that you’re high-status by displaying some sarcasm and also nonverbally telling her you’re a rebel that doesn’t care about the “no phones in class” rules. It does a lot of things in a short amount of time.

But the biggest thing it does for you?

Lets her know that you exist.

So by the time you enter step #2, if you don’t have any previous experiences with her, she will at least remember your face from that brief conversation. That is, IF you execute step #2 within the next few days to a week.

Step #2: Make Her Laugh The Next Time You Talk To Her

Once she already knows you exist, you can move on to step 2. Some guys will already be at this step when they’ve found this article.

For step 2, what you’re going to want to do next is to find any excuse you can to either tell her a really engaging story or make some type of sarcastic / funny comment. The key is to avoid boring conversation with her at all costs so you don’t shoot yourself in the foot.

This is the point where you will need to begin “heat checking” the situation. This means you will need to be actively analyzing how much you think she is into you and whether or not she will say yes or no if you ask her to hang out with you or your friends. Most girls will say “yes” to hanging out with you in a low-pressure setting if you can get their interest in you up to about a 6.5-7. So your focus should be on getting her to like you more by showing her that you’re a fun guy who isn’t needy.

The reason “saying something funny to her” is step #2 is because you will need to provide value to her in every interaction you have in order to build interest. And the easiest way to do this is by continually providing her value in the form of laughter and playfulness while avoiding heavy and logical, interview-style situations like the plague.

This may look like this:

The Secret “Under The Radar” Funny Conversation Script That They Don’t Want You To Know About – The “omg meme”

The “omg meme” has helped me begin more conversations than I can even count. The reason it works so well is because it starts the conversation off on a playful note and is extremely low-pressure for the girl.

So let’s get into it.

For this you are going to want to either be standing or sitting by her in class.

Once you are close to her, get a meme pulled up on your phone that you think is funny and a has a little bit of an “OMG” factor.

Once the meme is pulled up, say “oohhh myy goddd” like you’re shocked that you received it and then immediately lean over and put the phone in front of her while saying “why are these my friends… do you have friends like this?”.

Once she responds with either yes or no (doesn’t really matter what she says, but if she says OMG YES! and starts telling you a story, let her talk) immediately tell her a story about something really funny / wild / crazy you did with your friends and make sure you tell it in a really funny, shocking and engaging way that portrays you as the leader of your friend group.

Once you do this, you will have opened the door of conversation that will allow her to see your super cool personality while also thinking of you as the leader of your group (which will be attractive to her).

Now, once you’ve been talking for a while, you are going to have to decide if she is only a LITTLE BIT into you or if she’s a LOTTA BIT into you.

Because this will determine the next step.

Step #3 – Ask Her “What’s Your Insta?” And Then Add Her On The Spot

There’s a couple different situations that could be going on here.

She could either be a LITTLE BIT into you or a LOTTA BIT into you.

If she’s only a little bit into you, and you can tell she’s not super into the conversation, then you are going to want to exit the conversation by saying something like “Cya meme buddy” and then either re-engage her at a later time or just move on to another girl.

But if she’s a lotta bit into you, and you think she finds you interesting enough to give you her social media handle, then it’s a great time to pull the trigger in a low-pressure way by saying “what’s your insta?” and then adding her right then and there while reminding her that she’s your meme buddy.

Why Asking For Her Instagram In Class Is Better Than Phone #

The reason asking for her Instagram is so fantastic is because for some reason, giving out her Instagram name is a lot “less of a deal” for the girl than if she were to give you her number. This means that the likelihood she will give it to you is really high, and you will have a communication channel to her other than class. Which is HUGE.

One additional thing asking “what’s your insta?” has over a phone number is that by adding you, she is gaining a follower. So it is actually making her look slightly more popular by agreeing to add you. Which only adds to the likelihood that she will say yes.

The “How To Talk To A Girl In Class” Tipping Point

Once you ask, she will either simply either give you her Instagram name or say she doesn’t have one. If she says she doesn’t have one because she is not that comfortable with you yet, then you’re going to want to say something that is playful and doesn’t show you’re butthurt at all like “That’s probably a good thing for instagram” and the flashing her a genuine smile as you walk away. If she says no, just take your L and move on.

But, if she says yes, then you are in an amazing position.

Why?

Because not only did you get her Instagram name, and then say “can’t wait to be meme buddies” as you left, but you also gave yourself something to talk about and relate to with her at all times:

Memes.

This means that instead of really texting her and having boring or dull conversations (check out my how to text a girl guide here) you can basically just send her funny memes and she will send you memes back. And this type of conversation never really dies out.

And at that point, you just ask her out to something low-pressure (not dinner or a movie) like a party, bowling, drinks, soccer in a field, etc. Literally anything that will have “fun” at the center of it.

And then you’re golden.

Key Takeaways:

Get her to know you exist in an extremely low-pressure and slightly funny way
Find ways to tell her really your most interesting stories with really good jokes in them
Ask her what her Instagram is and then send her cat memes until you both fall in love

And if you need additional dating help getting the girl, or have any pressing questions that I didn’t cover in this article, feel very free to either visit stepbystepdating.com or apply to join our exclusive email list for world-class dating content.